


The Unknown

by untilmynextstory



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: Child Death, Divorce, F/M, Gun Violence, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Infidelity, Lemons, Miscarriage, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-12-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:42:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 9
Words: 73,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26320603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untilmynextstory/pseuds/untilmynextstory
Summary: Sometimes relationships head into unknown waters. After facing many tribulations in their relationship, Jax Teller doesn't know how to tread back to where he and his wife, Alma, used to be.
Relationships: Donna Winston/Opie Winston, Jax Teller/Original Character(s), Jax Teller/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 56





	1. Home

The best part about returning from a run is simply coming home. When he was younger and unattached, Jackson Teller thoroughly enjoyed the perks of the runs. The women, booze, and the vast road had always been something to look forward too. Although it's hard to believe that it has been only six years since he has last indulged in the many pleasurable vices the club has to offer.

Those vices paled in comparison of the treasures that waited for him in his small three bedroom ranch. Jax wanted something bigger – much vaster. With his lifestyle, he had the means to spoil those he loved.

Even if he would have preferred a stripper pole in the bedroom, Jax would never look to replace his quaint home that rests at the end of the cul de sac. It's hidden by the redwood trees and the dark brick exterior blends in perfectly. If it wasn't for the cars and the bright childlike paraphilia that decorated the lawn, most would probably miss it.

The growl of his bike echoes throughout the neighborhood. He has learned to ignore the looks that peek through curtains and how some neighbors still shoo their kids back inside when he rides through the settlement of family homes courtesy of Elliot Oswald. It's one of the few developments that the club allowed to pass through.

He pulls into his designated spot in a long driveway. After the week-long run, his bike is in a serious need of a wash. He would put the task off onto the Prospect, but instead he thinks it would be good to do it at home.

He grabs his bag filled with dirty clothes and a few souvenirs as he enters the house through the side door, which leads him into the laundry room. He immediately throws his clothes in one of the baskets.

Leaving the laundry room, he stands in the hallway and his eyes sweep around. He expects to hear the platter of feet and maybe the TV shouting some Disney song. The house is quiet – seemingly empty.

Yet, a quirk settles on his lips. He walks into the kitchen and places his pack on the kitchen island. If the house wasn't so quiet, probably would have missed the shushing sound followed by childlike laughter.

Jax plays along anyways.

He exaggerates his movements as he opens cabinet doors and checks behind pillows as he questions if anyone is home.

The first bedroom painted a baby blue color covered in posters of various athletes and a few drawings of Harley motorcycles is empty.

The second bedroom painted a lavender color with silver accents. He had expected his life to be overtaken by princesses and tiaras. Yet, the only thing he has been subjected too is glitter tutus.

The laughter gets a little bit louder as he gets closer to the final destination. He knocks very loudly on his bedroom door before he opens it.

It's instantaneous that he is attacked by his two kids.

"We got you, Daddy!" They shout between their laughter and giggles. Jax laughs along with them as he holds them tight in his arms. He looks at his oldest first, who has his blue eyes. It's been six years since he has become a father. Six years that made coming home from runs the best part from going on them. He runs his hands through his son's dark wavy hair before he presses a kiss to his head. Outside of the eyes, Nathan is all his mother.

He turns his attention to his youngest, his four year old daughter, who owns his whole heart. Her brown eyes are a carbon copy of her mother's whiskey ones, shining brightly as she tugs at him. "I missed you so much, Daddy."

Jax's smile is bright. "I missed you too, Babygirl." He hugs Kaylee tighter. She squirms in his hold as she presses a kiss to his lips as she wraps her arms around his neck.

"Did you miss, Mama, too?" Kaylee wonders as her blonde furrow in seriousness.

A shadow overtakes them and Jax looks in the doorway. Alma stands in the doorway with a fond, proud smile as she watches the scene. Jax's hold slackens around the kids. He places another kiss on each of their foreheads. His hands grip the familiar curves of his wife and he answers his daughter's question as he presses a burning kiss to his wife's plump lips.

The kiss barely lasts 3 seconds when he feels small hands tugging at them while Nathan exclaims gross.

Jax pulls away as he looks at Kaylee. "Daddy, you going to come swimming!" It's then Jax realizes both of their kids are clad in their swimwear. The in ground pool they added last summer seemed to worth the money as he is sure his kids are going to turn into fish with how much they swim.

"Sure, but I think Mom needs to help me with my swimming trunks."

Nathan scrunches his nose as he grabs his sister's hand. "Come on."

Kaylee gladly follows her older brother.

Alma huffs as she turns back to go into their bedroom, she is already wearing her bathing suit. The two-piece that is an electric pink is something he doesn't recognize. Jax surmises it must be new. He closes the door and knows that he is on a serious time crunch. His kutte is thrown onto the bed.

Alma can barely squeak a Hi before he attacks her lips. His body hums in the familiar taste of oranges that he associates with Alma.

His hands find purchase in her short brown hair as he nips and sucks on her pouty lips. A week was nothing in the grand scheme of things. The longest run he had ever been on was a month as the club had managed to open a few charter on the East Coast. That run had been brutal as Nathan had only been 3 months than. He told Clay that he would never go on a run that lasted for more than two weeks.

Alma pulls back, "Jax, baby, slow down." She whispers against his lips.

"I missed you." He tells her as he places another softer kiss to her lips. They've been married for five years and Jax didn't think the wanting would ever stop.

"Me too, but we have tonight." She smiles at him and her arms wrap around him. He can't help the wince as she hits a particularly tender spot.

She frowns and pulls back from him. "What happened?"

Jax chews on his lip. He had hoped he would've been able to hide the bruises from him a little bit longer. He honestly almost forgot about the bruises he received three days ago.

"I'm fine." He tells her. He hopes to distract her with a kiss, but she creates a bigger distance between them.

"Let me see."

"I'm fine, babe."

She folds her arms across her chest. Jax sighs as he kicks off his shoes. The room is quiet as he goes and removes his socks, jeans, and boxers and replaces them with swimming trucks. He removes his white t-shirt last. He exposes the sets of bruises that dot his skin like a grotesque connect the dots his daughter loves to do.

Alma is at his back. Her touch gentle as she skims across a bruise that is near his kidney. "Was it the Mayans?"

"Don't stress about it." He dismissively.

"How can I not?" She retorts.

Jax turns and brings her into a hug. He places a kiss on her forehead. "Everything will be fine." The words don't bring any comfort as she is stiff in his hold. "Just be careful and keep your gun on you."

Alma pulls back completely and he can there are many questions on her tongue, but she doesn't ask. "Nathan's grounded."

"What?" Jax says mostly from the complete 180 in turn of where the conversation has turned. "Why?"

"He got into a fight at school. Won't tell me why so until then he is on punishment." Alma says tiredly. Jax wants to question why she didn't tell him this fact during their many phone calls, but he doesn't. "I'm tired of being the bad guy," she tells him softly.

"I'll talk to him."

Alma gives him a small smile.

"Mom! Dad! Come on!" Both chuckle and they go to exit their room, but Jax grabs her wrist and pulls her back. "I love you."

"I love you too."

.

.

.

The great thing about an indoor pool is that it works wonders in tiring out his kids. Nights like these where he is anxious for uninterrupted hours with his wife makes him not regret spending over a grand for the concrete pond.

He watches as Nathan does his night time routine, which consists of feeding the fishes in his room. He is too big for a night light now, but he still sleeps with his Mr. Toad. It was the first thing Jax ever bought for his son. Considering his reaction to finding out Alma was pregnant, he had a lot of groveling to do and the stuffed toad was in the one in plenty of the apology gifts.

He tucks his son in bed. He can hear Kaylee and Alma from the bathroom as they brush their teeth. He looks back to his son, who is already six years old.

Fatherhood wasn't something Jax never seriously thought about. He knew his mother wanted him to have kids. Gemma wanted the grandkids despite never liking any of the girls he hung around with. Even then with the promise of free pussy why would anyone want to settle down and have babies. Babies meant a bigger responsibility that he felt was greater than the club.

And then it only led to one time of him not using protection for him to enter the world of fatherhood. He doesn't regret having a kid at 18. His children are something he would never regret.

Fatherhood just brought a lot of responsibilities, or crisis to his state of mind. When he held Nathan in his arms for the first time Jax had been confronted with his own morality and mortality.

Nathan despite his blue eyes was all his mother. Even down to their temperament and mannerisms. Nathan was Alma. He was the best part of him, but all of Alma. Jax knows the life he leads. He knows that Nathan is expected to follow into his footsteps. He isn't going to say he doesn't expect the same thing out of his son. But at the same time, his son could have more.

He can't picture his son coming home with bruises or killing a man in cold blood. But Nathan is a part of him; he has a part of him that has violence coated in his DNA.

Jax sits on the edge of his son's twin sized bed. "Are you going to tell me what you did in school to get in trouble?"

Blue eyes peek up shyly from behind the comfort of his cover. Nathan's fist clutches the navy blue comforter as he turns on his side still facing him. "Mom worries too much."

Jax places his hand on his son's shoulder. "Your mother loves you."

Nathan nods his head as he clutches Mr. Toad.

"Tomorrow, we're going to talk about this." Jax tells his son as he gets up from the bed. He is at the door and getting ready to turn off the light when Nathan speaks up.

"You love Mom too, right?"

"With my whole heart."

Nathan smiles before his eyes close.

Jax makes his way next door where Kaylee is already tucked in, but he finds a stack of books on her nightstand.

"I don't think we'll be able to read all these," Jax tells her as he skims through some of them.

Kaylee smiles, her missing teeth noticeable. "Why not?" She can't stop smiling to even pout.

"What are we going to read for tomorrow?"

Kaylee's eyes go wide like a deer. "Will you be here tomorrow?" She asks softly.

A lump forms in Jax's throat. "Of course."

"Okay, we can read the story about the mouse and cookie."

"Sure thing."

Kaylee falls asleep by the 10th page. Jax smiles as he places a kiss on her head and turns on her nightlight.

Turning off the hallway light, his bedroom is encased by the moonlight. Alma is already laying in bed. He frowns, but he wonders if this is a slight payback for his reluctance to tell her about the bruises on his back. He strips down to his boxer briefs and slides behind his wife. He sees she is only wearing a cami and cotton panties. He concludes she must not be too mad.

He wraps his arms around her bringing her back into his chest. He just holds her relishing in her weight and warmth against him.

"The kids are growing up so fast," he tells her. It feels like only yesterday that he was holding a newborn Kaylee in his arms wondering what in the hell he was going to do with a girl.

"Your mom said the same thing."

"Yeah, and what does she have to say?" Jax already has a feeling on what his mother had told his wife.

"She was wondering if we planned to move into a bigger house."

The fact that her husband hesitates makes Alma turn over to face him. His eyes tell her everything she needs to know. Despite the fact both of their children were unplanned, she knows her husband wants more. She still is unsure if it's more from his mother's urges or the need for her to be fat.

"I wouldn't mind a bigger house," he answers. Alma has mixed feelings on expanding their family.

Alma does not nor will ever regret her children, but she can't deny that she feels as if she was penalized for having babies by 18 and being married by 17. Even worse, the father was the blonde biker Jax Teller and now her husband. She had fulfilled the stereotype that she fought against all her life. She had plans. She wanted a life outside of the world she grew up in. She still doesn't know why she had let Jax Teller into her bed. She knows she can't deny that she loves him, by being pregnant at 16 and practically having to settle down wasn't something she wanted.

Since she was 17, she had been a stay at home wife and mother. With Kaylee starting school this year, Alma yearns for more than just being a mother and wife. She loves her husband, her family, and even the club, but she doesn't have one thing for herself. She has nothing outside of it.

She takes a deep breath. "I was thinking of looking for a job."

Alma knew from a young age college wasn't something she wanted. Instead, she found herself doing acrylic nails. Since she was young she had been doing her mom's, most of the old lady's nearby including Gemma and Luann, as well as a few neighbors. She had a steady side hustle to maybe even open her own shop. Though she thinks she will try her luck at applying at a few shops in Stockton to learn the business first. She couldn't let her license go to waste.

Jax doesn't say anything. "Besides, after Kaylee being in the hospital…" She adds.

Jax's hold tightens. Kaylee inheriting the family flaw was hard on all of them. They were lucky she was even able to get into school. Gemma had been worried about the germs and the toll of letting strangers take care of her granddaughter.

"If we have no more kids, I'll be fine with the two we have. Though I'm not going to object to more."

"And for me to start working?"

"I'll support you with whatever you want to do." He tells her earnestly. She's relieved that he doesn't suggest that she could just work at the garage.

Alma smiles wide and she rewards her husband with a sweet, wet kiss.

.

.

.

Alma knows there is not a lot to do in her days. One, her day is catered to a four year old. There is a lot of cartoon, coloring, and sometimes temper tantrums. Most days, Alma spends her morning trying to teach her daughter her letters, numbers, and colors. Afternoons are when they would frequent parks, or run errands with Gemma for various things. Today they are venturing to Stockton. Alma is dressed in a modest summer dress that can pass for business attire. She even dressed Kaylee in a pretty little dress and blonde hair in two buns. Jax telling her that he had to actually work on the garage said he could take Nathan to teach him some things.

Alma is in a very good mood despite her sparse resume, but she has a portfolio of the work she had done throughout the years. She knows she shouldn't really expect anything, but the fact she is doing something for herself is all that matters.

She knows that the only thing at her disadvantage is she isn't a regular at Claws. It's a very upscale nail salon. The parking lot is packed and as she eyes the Mercedes and Hummers in the lot she feels very inadequate. She grips Kaylee's hand a little bit tighter as she walks through the sleek glass doors.

Inside is cool and the interior is cold from the harsh geometrical designs from the lights to the sharp edges of the desks. Alma knows she can't be picky and this place is currently hiring. Besides, her work will speak for itself and maybe if hired she will break down and let Gemma take her on a real shopping spree.

Alma approaches the receptionist desk with a bright smile where a blonde with pink glossy lips and fake boobs greet her warmly.

"Hi, are you in for an appointment or are you a walk in?" The receptionist asks.

"Actually, I saw in the paper that you were hiring. I was hoping I could apply?" Alma questions.

"We actually might even be able to get you an interview right now. We are in desperate need of help." The blonde informs her. "I'm Holly, by the way."

"Alma Teller, but I have my daughter with me," Alma looks down as Kaylee looks up and waves at Holly.

"She is so cute, but that will be no problem. Our manager, Kim, is here right now. The wait will only be a couple minutes."

Alma isn't able to reply as Holly leaps from her desk and walks across the room to an office that overlooks the whole salon.

Alma turns her attention to her daughter, who is thankfully being good. "What do you say about some ice cream after this?"

Kaylee's eyes go wide. "Mint chocolate chip!"

"Up even with graham crackers." Alma promises. Alma digs in her purse for her daughters leapfrog to at least keep her distracted enough for this possible interview.

The sound of heels clacking against the ceramic floor brings her attention to a tall lanky woman in a black suit. Her strawberry blonde hair is in a severe bun.

"Holly tells me you're looking for a job?"

"Yes."

"Follow me. Holly can watch your daughter."

"Are you sure?" Alma asks as she looks from Kim to the receptionist.

"It's fine. I'll sit her right here so you can see her from the office." Holly promises.

Alma nods her head and whispers to her daughter she will only be a couple minutes. Kaylee is too consumed by her leapfrog to care.

Alma follows Kim to her office. The salon only has a handful of clients, but she can tell by the shine of their rings it's more about quality than quantity.

Alma isn't even in her seat before Kim speaks to her. "Have you ever worked at a salon before?"

"Uh, no. I have not."

"You're applying to be a nail artist right? I don't need another Holly."

Alma clutches her portfolio and offers it to Kim. "I work from my house. I've been doing nails since I was a kid."

Kim takes the folder and opens it. "You barely look older than 18."

"Thank you, but I'm 22."

Kim is quiet as she flips through the portfolio. Alma hopes she is impressed. "Why did you decide to wait until now to work?"

"I have two kids. I am a stay at home mom and wife. My youngest, Kaylee, is starting school. I decided it was time."

"Married and two kids at 22," Kim whistles. "Tell me the differences in gel or acrylic nails?"

"Gel nails have a more natural look with a glossy finish. And if primed right, gel has no damage to the nail bed that acrylic would. Gel nails cure faster and more flexible than acrylic nails. Although, acrylic nails are more durable and sturdy."

"If hired, considering your lack of previous work, you will go through a three week trial period where we can fire you without just cause. Your work is good."

"Thank you."

"You from Stockton?"

"I live in Charming."

"Really? I heard…" Kim clears her throat. "Alma Teller tell me more about yourself."

"Well as you know I have two kids. My oldest, my son, is six. My youngest, Kaylee, is four. I've been married for 5 years to their father. I've lived in Charming all my life. I've been doing nails since I was young. My mom and various friends and family I've used for practice. And now I'm looking for something to be outside of a wife and mother. I want to improve my skills as a nail artist." Alma tells her and as she sweeps her hair out of her face she watches as Kim narrows at her tattoo on her left bicep.

"If hired, we don't allow tattoos in the shop."

Alma looks down at her crow. "Okay." She knows it will be easy to cover up.

"You said you're from Charming, right?" Kim asks again.

Alma nods her head, but dread feels her belly.

"Alma Teller, I know that last name." She watches as recognition washes over her features. "Does your husband own that mechanic garage? The one with that motorcycle gang?"

"It's a club. A motorcycle club," Alma refutes on instinct. She knows where this is already heading.

Kim eyes her silently as she closes her portfolio. "Leave your portfolio with Holly. Someone will get back to you."

.

.

.

She still takes Kaylee for her ice cream. It takes everything in Alma not to cry like a baby at her first failed interview. Maybe she needs to develop thicker skin. She knows she needs too. Having Jax's name is going to follow her around especially outside of Charming. People in Charming tolerate the club, but their hold doesn't go beyond the borders. Her mother had warned her about this when her pregnancy test turned out positive with Nathan.

Alma doesn't want to mope in the house nor does she want to spend it on the bench outside of the clubhouse. Instead, she drives over to the Winston household. Thankfully Donna is still home with a newborn Ellie.

Alma is sitting in the backyard as she watches Kenny run around with Kaylee. The only comfort that Alma had during her pregnancy with Nathan was that Donna was pregnant with her at the same time. At least Donna had been 18 and a few months shy from graduating high school. Alma had been the one to walk the halls with a big belly as whispers and snide comments followed her for being a biker whore. After all, Jax had managed to talk his way into her pants when he was on one of his numerous breaks with his high school girlfriend, Tara.

"Al, I think you should just open your own shop. You already have clientele. You have the talent." Donna tells her. Alma leaves out the part of the interview when the woman realized her connection to the club. The club is still a little bit of a sore spot between Donna and Opie and Alma doesn't want to add any more fuel to it.

She smiles at her friend's supportive words. Sometimes, she is envious of Donna. Donna still had managed to have her independence from Opie despite the marriage and baby at 18. Donna had a good job working as a receptionist at Oswald Lumber. Opie loved her wholeheartedly. She and Jax didn't have the most conventional start of a relationship.

"I don't know…"

"What's stopping you?" Donna inquires. "Kaylee is starting school. Nathan is 6. They aren't babies. You need your own life too ya know."

"I know."

Donna places Ellie in a swing and shields her from the sun. Donna's eyes narrow. "Is Jax not being supportive?"

"He is. He is. Maybe I'm just a little bit scared." Alma admits.

"Alma, you need to start doing things for yourself. You take care of Jax, the kids…you need to start taking care of you."

Alma picks at the hem of her dress. Alma thinks that is part of the problem. Her whole love has been so consumed by Jax she doesn't know anything else. As proven earlier, her identity is seemingly tied to Jax and the club.

"I'll think about it. Maybe start looking for some spaces. Go to the community college and take a couple business classes."

Donna smiles and gives her knee a squeeze. "I don't like seeing you like this."

"Like what?"

"So unsure of yourself. Everything okay between you and Jax?"

"We're fine," Alma insists.

Donna eyes her, but doesn't press. "Nathan, say why he got into that fight?"

Alma sighs. "No. Jax said that he would talk to him."

"He's a boy. Stuff like this happens." Donna soothes.

Alma purses her lips. "It's just Nathan would tell me everything…"

Donna gives her a knowing smile. "Nathan will always be a mommy's boy, Al. You don't need to worry about that."

Alma snorts. "That is so not it."

Donna chuckles. "Sure it's not."

"It's not!" Alma protests.

Donna shakes her head. "Hey, do you know what the guys did on the run?"

Alma's smile dies and she thinks about the fading bruises on her husband. He still hasn't said how he managed to acquire those. Now she's only curious as to what happened to Opie to make Donna wonder as well.

"No, I don't."

Donna frowns. "I'm worried. I know…I know some things." Donna knows that club isn't exactly legal. "I found a bloody bandana in Opie's pack. His clothes reeked of smoke."

"Would you want to know the truth, Donna?"

"I'm afraid I wouldn't recognize Opie if I did." Donna confesses before the cries of Ellie wanting her mother's milk interrupts.

.

.

"Dad, can we please please please have lunch on the roof?" Nathan begs as he follows Jax into the clubhouse.

Jax decided to bring Nathan to work with him today. There was no pressing club issue and it gave Jax time to bond with his son. Jax isn't a great mechanic like his own father, Clay, and even Opie, but he enjoys the work. He enjoys that it gives him something to teach his own son. Something so innocent.

With the large lunch box in his hands, he looks at his son's blue imploring eyes. For some reason, Alma did not like the thought of her babies on the roof. He knows better than to take Kaylee. He thinks motherhood has made Alma a little anal in some respect. "You better not tell your mother." He warns as they go to the ladder.

Nathan knows better than to stand too close to the edge as they find the clusters of crates. They use a crate to make a makeshift table. Nathan preferred to sit on the ground while Jax sat on the blue milk crate.

Their lunch contained two chicken salad sandwiches, Gatorade, cookies, cheese and crackers, and a small container of fruit salad. Nathan's portions were obviously smaller than his.

It's quiet between father and son as they eat their lunch. Jax looks out across the lot where he can see the bustling bodies below and the expanse of Charming before them. He is brought back to his own childhood where his father would bring him up here. Jax has seen many sunsets and sunrises on this roof. It's one of the few places he can go to escape and actually feel calm.

It seems his son feels the same way.

Jax turns to Nathan, who is greedily eating his food. Some of the chicken salad is smeared on his cheek. He realizes his son is losing some of the exaggerated features of childhood even at six. He can see under the baby fat that his cheeks will be of Alma's. His straight nose will be his own to match his eyes. He knows his son will most likely inherit his tall height compared to Alma's short stature. He watches as Nathan pushes back his wavy hairs from dangling in his eyes with a scowl.

"You ready to get a haircut?"

Nathan shakes his head. "I want my hair to be as long as yours."

Jax smiles as he pushes back his straight blonde locks. The tips are brushing the edges of his shoulders. The only reason his hair is this long is out of neglect. He hasn't just had Alma cut it for him yet.

"You might need to put in a ponytail soon."

Nathan's nose scrunches. "Then I will look like Kaylee."

"Your sister is cute."

"She's a girl." Nathan says knowingly.

Jax smiles that Nathan still has his innocence when it comes to the opposite sex. Nathan moves from the floor of the roof and pushes a crate next to him. His boy mimics his movements as they munch on their cookies and overlook the small town.

"You going to tell me what happened at school?"

Nathan frowns and he begins picking at the seams of his shorts. "A boy pushed me so I pushed him back."

"Is that all?" Jax presses.

"He said…"

"He said what?"

"He said that we were white trash. So I told him to shut up. Then he pushed me." Nathan reveals. "Am I in trouble?" Nathan asks with watery eyes.

Jax shakes his head. "No, you're not. But next time he says something, you need to tell your teacher okay? Your mom will worry if you get into more fights."

Nathan nods his head.

The two play I-Spy and soon point out familiar landmarks. That leads into Jax telling his son about treasured memories of him and his father.

"Will you lead the club with Uncle Opie?" Nathan asks after Jax regales a story about him and Opie thinking they were mechanics and took apart their father's bike out of curiosity.

"One day," Jax tells his boy. He knows Nathan isn't stupid to some of the on goings around the club. Despite Alma being raised in this life like him, it wasn't easy. There were nights he would come home reeking of gunpowder that would lead to loud spats that were unfortunately witnessed by Nathan. The worst was when Jax had been in a rush to leave from the house and Nathan had seen him stuffing a gun in his ankle bracelet.

Jax still remembers that fight with Alma, who was heavily pregnant by that point with Kaylee. He was surprised she didn't induce labor with how she chewed a piece out of his ass. But they both knew it would come to a point where they could hide the truth from their boy. There would come a point where Kaylee would need to know the truth too.

"One day soon?"

Jax shrugs. Clay wasn't giving up the gavel soon and at this point Jax wasn't sure he even wanted it. He knew it would pull him away from his family more than being a simple patch would. He remembers the nights his dad wouldn't make it home due to business. How his mom would clutch a rosary that she thought was hidden beneath bracelets or gold necklaces. "Not for a little while."

"When can I be a member of the club?"

"Not until you finish high school," Jax replies. Unlike him, he wasn't going to allow his son to get a GED. He knows Alma isn't either. It will probably be the one stipulation his son will need to follow if he wants to be a patch.

"But that's in forever!"

"It'll go by fast," Jax soothes. He wraps his arm around his boy. "But I want you to be a kid forever."

"I don't." Nathan pouts. "I want to be just like you, Dad."

.

.

Every Sunday, they had dinner at Gemma's. There was no exception, but once a month out of those Sundays, they had a Potluck. All the members of the club (including the mechanics) and their family were invited to Gemma's.

And this Sunday happened to be one of those. Alma had grown up looking forward to these Sundays. Even more, she remembers being doting on like a princess on these Sundays. After all, she was the only daughter of a First 9 member. She's Chico Vellenueva's daughter.

Alma is working on adding cheese to the anti-pasta salad when she hears Gemma's heels smacking the floor.

Thankfully, she and Gemma get along. They butt heads occasionally, but she has never received the cold shoulder or passive aggressiveness that Gemma bestowed on girls Jax would bring home. She assumes she got brownie points for giving her grandchildren and managing to tame her son.

Even then, Gemma was an aunt to her growing up. She remembers wanting to be like Gemma growing up. Poised, elegant, but deadly like a viper and sharp like thorn on a rose.

"You hear from your mother lately?" Gemma asks.

Her mother, Ana Rodriguez, her father's favorite croweater, was one of the first croweaters that had managed to snag an important member. She gave them hope that sucking dick could actually lead them somewhere. Despite that, Alma is considered royalty. That royalty is what she sometimes felt made her and Jax obligated to get married when he got her pregnant.

Her mother and father were together until Alma was five before they split up. Her mom was tired of the life and wanted a man that was home and most of all faithful. Despite having Alma, her father never wanted to marry her mother.

She knows there was a time she didn't see her father for a few months. She was living with her grandmother when Gemma Teller had found them. She doesn't know what Gemma said, but the next day she was back in Charming. Her mother and Gemma have been enemies ever since. She only knows that the ice had thawed a bit when her father became the first casualty of the Mayan War.

Though the frigidness returned when Alma became pregnant, her mom advocated for an abortion. She didn't want her tied down to Jax so young. Her mother didn't want her to be with anyone from the club. She knows her mom is still disappointed in her decision to marry Jax. It seemed before the ink was even dry on her marriage license her mom had moved out of Charming to live a different life. She was too young to be a grandma, she said. Gemma never forgive her mother for that or for Ana turning her back on the club.

"A few days ago. She talked to the kids. Told us about a wonderful vineyard she is at with a boyfriend. It's very kid friendly."

Gemma snorts. "What in the hell are kids going to do at a vineyard?"

Alma shrugs her shoulders. "Crush grapes?"

"Sometimes, I wonder about your mother. She acts like it's a burden to come to Charming and see her grandchildren."

"At least she calls. Sends them things. We video chat. They know her."

Gemma purses her lips together. She knows there is more on her tongue to say, but she doesn't waste any more breath on her mother. "Jax mentioned you were thinking about going back to work."

Alma fights the eye roll. Her husband has very loose lips. She did not want Gemma to find out about this until things were more concrete. She only nods her head as she goes to the fridge to add the pepperoni.

"You know I could use help in the garage." Gemma offers.

"Thanks, but no thanks." Alma wants something outside of the club. Besides, she does appreciate some distance from her husband.

Gemma places a hand on her shoulder. "I know things can be hard and sometimes a bit lonely, but you're not alone, sweetheart. You do have a good husband and a good life, don't forget that either."

.

.

Friday means no kids until Sunday morning. Gemma keeps the kids on the weekends. It's more of a break for her than Jax. Of course, depending on Jax's schedule they would keep the kids, but more often than night, Alma looks forward to the weekends.

After spending the day cleaning her empty house with her glass of wine, Alma strips out of her sweats and a forgotten oversized shirt of Jax's. She makes the water hot enough that her skin will be pink and fog the shower in less than a minute.

She begins her shower with washing her short brown hair. She had cut it short more for convenience. She was getting tired of the hair in her face as she ran after two kids. She knows Jax misses her long hair. She thinks she misses it a bit herself and thinks she might try to grow it out. Maybe even put a few blonde highlights in it. She scrunches her nose as that would mean matching Gemma.

She sighs as her fingers massage her scalp. Maybe she will dye all of it blonde. She is rinsing off the suds when she hears the slap of metal hitting her bathroom floor. It's seconds later when the shower door opens.

"Can you have it any hotter in here?" Jax comments as he steps in.

"No one asked you to be in here." She replies as she turns around and steps under the full spray of the water to get rid of the excess water.

Jax steps under the spray and she huffs as he steals most of the water making him laugh. "Did you see the kids?" She asks as she grabs her soap.

"Yeah, stopped by my mom's with Clay. They were already in their pajamas. I was practically shoved out the door for interrupting their time with Grandma."

Alma smiles and she pauses her cleaning as she wraps her soapy arms around her husband. "Well don't worry I won't kick you out…along as you behave yourself."

"And what happens if I'm a very bad boy," he eyes with a waggle of his eyebrow.

"You'll get punished." She tells him as she bite his nipple causing him to jump.

Alma laughs as she goes back to rubbing soap across her body. Jax moves around her to grab his own soap. The two are in a comfortable silence as they shower. Of course, Jax can't help himself and get a few gropes here and there. But outside of shower sex being complicated, this had been a routine of theirs after the birth of Nathan and even more so after Kaylee. They found taking a shower is the only time they could talk and enjoy the company of each other without one of their kids wedged between them.

"You wanna take a ride?" Jax asks as he begins washing his hair. Alma is surprised that Jax doesn't want to stay home on this Friday night.

"Every time we go on a ride, I end up pregnant." Alma jokes.

Jax's eyes light up. "You say that like it's a bad thing."

Alma doesn't bother replying to his comment. "Is it cold out?"

"Your denim jacket will do," he tells her as she steps out of the shower.

.

.

Alma squeezes her husband tight as he roars on the open road. He knows she prefers the late rides in the night than those during the day. She loves the wind whipping her hair. She even puts her arms out and screams "she's flying" as he speeds down the highway.

Even before they were married or together, she had always begged Jax to take her on rides. He always obliged especially when he was looking for an escape himself. She loves being on a motorcycle. She loves the freedom of the open road. They are on the border of Charming when Jax stops at the gas station with a small store. He claims he needs more cigarettes even though he promised her that she would quit.

She follows him a few steps behind. She rolls her eyes as he greets the cashier, Louisa. The young blonde seems to be her age, who blushes at his attention. Alma can't even feel mad as the girl pulls down the front of her shirt to show off a modest cleavage.

"You want anything, darling?"

Alma stuffs her hands in the pockets of her denim jacket as she follows Jax to the aisle he is standing in. By the smirk on his face, she knows it might get him punched. She finds her husband standing in front of the small display of condoms and lubricates.

She looks at her husband with a scowl.

"Hey, you're the one that isn't on birth control." He points out as he skims the different brands and styles.

"I keep track of my days," she tells him as she slaps his hand as he picks up a box. "I don't want a warming condom."

"We never tried that one before." He says innocently.

"You trying to say my pussy's cold?"

"Never." He tells her seriously. He swipes a small pack of the ultra-thin.

"You know, you can buy these by the case. Be a lot cheaper." She tells him. It's not like they use them all the time. Just when she is ovulating. She knows that she should just get on birth control especially now that there are more options than the pill.

"Nah." He brings an arm around her shoulder. "A box at a time keeps me humble."

"You're an idiot."

Jax laughs as he goes to the counter to check out. Louisa's cheeks are still rosy from Jax's greeting and Alma spies the white frill peeking from the V-neck of her shirt. She can admit the girl is bold to do that with her standing with Jax.

Jax pays for his things as he follows her out the door.

"I think the cashier has a crush on you," Alma tells him as they reach his bike.

"What?"

Alma stares at her husband knowingly.

"Your boobs are bigger." Alma scoffs at him. Jax gives her a wolfish smile as he approaches her. She's unprepared for the slap on her ass, which he soothes as he rubs it as he pulls her into his chest. "Besides, you know I'm an ass man."

"Sometime, I really hate you." She mumbles against his chest.

"No you don't." He tells her as his hands weave into her hair. He places a soft kiss to her lips, but she chases his lips as she leans on her tippy toes. He meets her lips again and she doesn't feel bad if she breaks Louisa's heart. But Jax is her husband and it is disrespectful to try and flirt with a woman's husband when she is standing right there.

She's about to pull back and suggest they go home when the dark sky is lit up. It almost like fireworks are lighting the sky with the booming sky that follows.

Jax's body goes rigid. "Shit!"

.

.

With the explosion at the creek, the joyous mood had been disintegrated. Jax had loosened his lips enough to tell her that it was one of their warehouses. He didn't elaborate. Yet, as he stayed most of the day at the clubhouse on Saturday to handle the blowback, according to the news and the paper most knew that the blast belonged to SAMCRO. Alma suspected it was the Mayans.

Alma spent the day indoors as she didn't want to deal with the looks or whispers. Jax didn't come home late in the night and as he cradled her in his arms, he had offered an apology.

With it being Sunday and not finding the kids at Gemma's, she had to travel to the Charming Gardens to pick up her kids. This was no doubt a scheming move from Gemma to show the town they had nothing to hide from.

The kids are too busy feeding the ducks to notice her presence as she finds Gemma sitting on a bench watching the scene with a smile.

"You could've just dropped them off." Alma says flatly.

Gemma looks at her from behind her sunglasses. "You need the sun – fresh air."

"That's what my backyard is for."

"Staying in the house only makes you look guilty." Gemma accuses.

Alma purses her lips as it isn't about her. It's about the kids getting the brunt of the blowback. She knows how cruel parents can be and how it trickles down to their children. She can only imagine the nasty things they are already saying. She knows deep down that the fight Nathan got it has to be from a kid repeating the words of his parents.

"Gem –"

Alma's words are cut off as Nathan's screams for his sister in the park.

.

.

There are times when Jax can fully understand why his mom is crazy overprotective. There is no greater fear or pain than that of bearing witness to your own child's suffering. He has learned that from the time he had to witness his firstborn stumbling in taking his first small steps.

Though that fear and hypervigilance was magnified with the birth of Kaylee. They had a child with medical needs – critical – needs. With Kaylee's birth, he had been transported back in time to watching his mother practically live at the hospital with Thomas.

He thought he could connect with that pain his parents were feeling – to simply share it. They all loved Thomas, but now as a father; he can truly feel that pain. It's a pain that never goes away. Never.

His strides are swift and determined as he walks the halls of St. Thomas. He is more than familiar with the floors of the hospital for the first six months of Kaylee's life they became a second home.

He finds his mom sitting in a lounge chair, Nathan clutching her as they rock together. Luann is silent as she holds vigil next to Gemma.

Clay, Opie, Bobby, Tig, and Chibs are behind him. He is barely aware of their presence as his mom's eyes connect with his. This pain she can't hide from him. Her hold on Nathan becomes tighter as she nods to the door next to her.

He debates if he should comfort Nathan. He debates if he should hold his son, but his mom seems to be enough comfort for now. He moves to the door and can see through the window Alma looking into the adjacent room as they perform surgery on Kaylee.

He clutches the doorknob as he opens it. A blast of cool air and grief hits him. Alma's whiskey eyes turn to him. They are wide and scared. He is transported back in time to her being only 18 years old and wondering why Kaylee wasn't wailing when she gave birth. He remembers seeing how blue Kaylee looked and believing his baby girl had been still born before a broken cry escaped her lips before they took her away.

He remembers it being weeks before they could hold their daughter without tubes and wires keeping her alive.

Alma is in his arms immediately. She clings to him and he can feel her tears soaking through his shirt. He clutches her. His hand finds purchase in her brown hair. He wants to say everything will be alright, but he can't.

Alma pulls back a little as she looks up at him with watery eyes. "They have to run the wire through her leg, up to her heart."

"What happened?" The only words that he was able to make out from both her and his mother were Kaylee was in the hospital. Both were crying too hard for him to really understand.

"She was playing with Nathan when she just collapsed. I don't know." Alma sobs.

It takes everything in Jax not to crumble along with her. He knows that he needs to be strong for his family. He needs to be strong for Alma. He turns his gaze to the operating room. His baby girl is in the center. Wires connected to her to monitor her heart and breathing like it did when she was a newborn.

He can't help but notice how small and fragile his girl looks as they work to correct her heartbeat. He presses a kiss to Alma's head. "It's gonna be okay, darlin'."

"Like she hasn't been through enough shit." Alma mutters.

Jax tugs on her hair making her look up at him. "She's going to be okay."

He receives a watery smile as Alma melts into him.

.

.

In the clubhouse getting ready for this current job was the last place Jax wanted to be. He shouldn't be here really. He should be back at St. Thomas with his family. Kaylee's surgery was a success and she was staying at the hospital for a couple days as a precaution.

But business still needed to be handled. He would have opted out. Bobby, Tig, or even Chibs could've replaced him. This was his job, a simple one that he and Opie had done many times before. He was still weary on Kyle as the man had been distracted by his marital problems. Besides, this retaliation against the Mayans needed to be done. Jax swaps his white sneakers for his black ones. He slips a gun in his ankle holster. To keep some form of anonymity, they are wearing all black and the kuttes are to be left at the clubhouse.

He hopes tonight goes by smoothly. When he left, Kaylee was sleeping and Alma had dozed off as well. Nathan was being spoiled by his mother. Jax takes a seat on the edge of the bed in his former dorm room. He still has meager belongings in here. Extra clothes so the kids don't smell the gunpowder. He has a drawer for Alma and the kids as well. Pictures of his youth are still stuck on the wall.

A knock comes from the door and Opie pokes his head in. Jax nods his head that it's safe to come in.

"You sure you want to do this?"

"It'll be quick."

"Kyle and I can handle this on our own, ya know. Or Chibs and Tig can be the extra lookout."

"It's like you don't want me to go."

Opie smiles. "You should be with your family."

"I am." Jax tells him as he stands up. "Besides, you know I got your back."

"Kaylee will be alright, Jax."

Jax looks up to his best friend with shiny eyes. He feels like shit that he can't feel that optimism. Kaylee's heart will always be a problem. He fears his daughter might suffer the same fate as his brother.

"No need to go to that dark space, right now." Opie cautions.

"I know. I know." Jax sighs.

"Well lets go set off some fireworks."

.

.

It all happened so fast. They dispatched the guards quickly, set the boom, and as they enjoyed the fruits of their labor. Sirens were on them immediately. Jax doesn't know how he lost sight of Opie, but all he knew was Kyle had bailed at the first wail of a cop approaching. Kyle had left them stranded. Worst, Opie had gotten arrested.

It's 3 o'clock in the morning as he walks down the halls of St. Thomas to Kaylee's room. Clay wasn't too happy and he had debated on calling church immediately. He knew though that there couldn't be much they could do this late. They would have to hear from Rosen before they could help Opie. Jax was already advocating for Kyle to lose his fucking patch.

He enters Kaylee's hospital room to find Alma curled on the chair. There is no convincing his wife to at least sleep at home. She would be back before Kaylee would wake up bright in the morning. Jax walks over to Kaylee where she is sleeping soundly. He watches as her chest goes up and down. He memorized it. He plants a kiss on her forehead. He walks over to Alma. He wants to move her without jostling her too much. He sits beside her on the couch and begins to move her, but she jumps awake.

"Shh, it's just me." He soothes.

Alma blinks at him rapidly before her eyes dart over to Kaylee. "She's still sleeping." He confirms.

Some tension leaves her shoulders and she moves a bit so he can lay his feet up. She curls on top of him and they tangle their legs together.

"Everything go okay?" She asks sleepily.

"We can talk in the morning."

Alma's eyes snap back open and she sits up. "What happened?"

His body sags in the couch. He squeezes his eyes shut before they connect with Alma. "Opie got arrested."

.

.

Alma remembers Gemma telling her that the club goes through cycles. It will be extremely calm – downright boring – then things take off rapidly and they can't catch a break. Alma never had one of these experiences with Jax. She has been lucky her husband has been able to keep his nose clean for the most part. When he got arrested for Gun Running, he had been lucky to only get probation and house arrest for his first official arrest that got his mug shot on the infamous wall. Sure when he was a teen, Jax spent the night in the slammer for public intoxication and public disturbance with Tara. She had been livid for Jax for even getting caught as she had just found out she was pregnant with Kaylee.

She knows that her situation could be worse. Jax could have done years. Jax could've been in Otto's position, or now Opie's.

Alma winces as Ellie lets out another high piercing scream. Donna is clearly frazzled about Opie's arrest.

"Donna, let me hold her. You need a break."

"No, I can do this myself." Donna insists as she rocks her infant daughter. She had been surprised Donna even let her through the door. Since Opie's arrest two days ago, Donna had begun to pull away. There was hard evidence against Opie and they all knew he wasn't going to walk away with a slap on the rest.

"Don –"

"I don't need your pity." Donna snaps. Blue eyes pin her down. Alma isn't used to this side of Donna. She's not distraught about Opie being gone. She is fucking angry. Pity isn't what she has for Donna though. It would be the last thing she would show her friend.

"I'm just trying to help."

A bitter laugh escapes Donna's throat. "Help? Can you tell me exactly why my husband was in San Leandro committing arson?"

Alma purses her lips. She finds Kenny staring at them with wide eyes. She looks away from him as she can't imagine being in Donna's situation. She doesn't know how she could even explain to her children why Jax couldn't come home.

"Donna –"

"Tell me the truth." Donna begs.

Alma's nails dig into her palm. She can't tell Donna why. There are rules to this. It was Opie's choice not to tell Donna anything. She has to respect that. She can't undermine a patch even if it's her job as an old lady to support another one. Donna deserves the truth, but she knows the truth isn't really going to bring her any peace. It would just give her more ammunition to blame the club.

"It's not my place," Alma tells her.

Donna scoffs. "I thought we were friends."

"We are." Alma replies. "It's just that Opie should be the one to tell you this."

"Why? Because I'm his old lady?" Donna seethes.

"Because it should come from him."

"You should go."

Alma feels as if she has been slapped. "Don –"

"I want you to leave."

Alma seals her mouth shut. It's best to respect Donna's wishes and she doesn't want to make things worse. She grabs her purse and heads to the door when Donna relays her last parting words.

"Tell the club I don't need their charity."

.

.

Alma arrives at Kaylee's hospital room to find Gemma reading a book to her granddaughter. There are smiles on both of their faces as Gemma changes her voice for each different character. After her visit to Donna, this is a very welcomed sight to see.

Alma smiles as she walks over to the couch and sits. She listens to Gemma finish the story while Kaylee's eyes become heavy.

The stress and meds have Kaylee more tired than usual. Alma closes her own eyes as she lets her body sag against the couch. The past few days have taken a serious toll on her body. She might need a nap of her own.

"Come take a walk with me."

Alma's eyes snap open as Gemma peers down on her. Alma doesn't really want to leave. She doesn't want Kaylee to wake up alone in this hospital room. Gemma also isn't really asking though. Alma moves up from the couch and follows Gemma out to the hall. She thinks they are going to go to the chapel. Despite Gemma never stepping foot in a church since her teen years, she knows Gemma is still a preacher's daughter at heart. Gemma still prays and looks for guidance.

Instead Gemma takes them outside to a bench. The biker matriarch digs through her enormous leather bag and plucks a cigarette. She's surprised it isn't one of her medicinal cigarettes. Alma joins her at the bench silent. Gemma takes a few puffs as they watch the traffic.

"I take it Donna isn't too happy." Gemma surmises as she turns to look at her through her sunglasses.

"It's a shitty situation."

Gemma hums. "It could be worse."

Alma knows Opie could be dead. She thinks Donna knows that too. Even then, Gemma has lived through worse with the club. She had lost both of her husbands to significant amounts of prison time. Alma had lost her own father to prison.

Alma has already lost her father and Gemma lost a husband. They know that prison is tame compared to the alternative.

"She should at least know the truth."

Gemma flicks her cigarette. The ashes smear against the pavement. "That isn't our place."

Alma folds her arms around herself. "Is it bad…is it wrong that when I was there all I could think about how lucky I am that Jax didn't get locked up."

"No, sweetheart." Gemma comforts. "But don't take for granted that it could've been."

.

.

Kaylee is discharged from the hospital late in the night. Jax is carrying her to her room to put her right to bed. Nathan follows his father. Alma walks into the kitchen with Kaylee's medical information. She fills a glass of water up and drinks it in a few seconds. She fills it again and downs it again. She places the cup in the sink and opens the folder. She first reads the general summary of Kaylee's stay along with the new updated meds. She works to memorize the side effects.

But the paper she gives her full attention to is the medical bill. Kaylee will always have medical problems, which translate to bills. Sure, Jax makes more than most, but the money isn't exactly clean and it is a process to make it something they can really use. Insurance only covers so much.

Most importantly this is a single income home. Jax works. Jax makes the money. He provides financial stability.

Jax walks back into the kitchen and stands behind her. He places his chin on her shoulder and gets a good look at what she is looking at. His arm reaches out and moves the papers. "Don't worry about that."

Alma turns. She looks up at her husband. She can see the stress and worry in his eyes not only from Kaylee, but the situation with Opie. They still haven't really talked about what exactly went down.

"I could be in Donna's position right now." She tells him. Unlike Donna, she has no job. She wouldn't be able to support her children. She wouldn't know what to do. "I mean…do you even know how long Opie's sentence is going to be?"

Jax cups her cheek. "Don't worry about that."

He silences her response with a kiss. She knows he needs a distraction. She lets herself become one.

.

.

5 years.

Opie was sentenced to 5 years in Chino. A six hour drive away. The judge showed no mercy on the husband and father to two small children. Alma was sure that this had been a small consolation to the government as they couldn't connect the club to any of the charges they had tried to pin to the club for years.

But 5 years minimum, that was the plea deal. Opie wouldn't be able to get out sooner unless there was some type of miracle. As the sentence had left the judge's lips, she heard Clay and Jax already muttering that they needed to secure protection fast for Opie quickly.

Alma felt stupid she didn't think far ahead that he would even need protection. Alma's worries had been solely focused on Donna.

Despite Donna's anger, the small brunette didn't turn away from her support today. She had already seen how her parents were whispering in her ear. The words divorce seemed to be a favorite with her parents. Thankfully, Mary can't hide her disdain to herself about Opie's choices. Mary may have been an absent – distant mother, but she was making it up through being a grandparent.

Alma closes the door to Donna's room. Donna had regretfully accepted a valium to calm down and had dozed off. Alma had promised her that she would stay until tomorrow with Mary to keep an eye on the kids. Ellie being a baby doesn't understand what is going on. Worse is the little girl won't really know her father outside of prison visits. Kenny knows what is going on, but he doesn't understand. Alma knows that it won't hit the little boy until the first visit in Chino. She worries though that those visits will be far and in between. Mary had let it slip Donna had already talked to her about watching the kids more so she could pick up over time.

Alma checks on the kids, who are blissfully sleeping despite everything. She walks into the living room to find Mary folding clothes. Mary seems awfully comfortable and at home in the house.

"She sleeping?" Mary inquires.

"Yeah," Alma replies as she stands unsure. She bends her fingers. The house is already clean. There's nothing to really do.

"Sit down. I don't bite."

Alma looks at her with wide eyes, but does sit on the couch opposite from her. Even when Mary was around, Alma never was close to her like she was to Gemma or Luann. She always remembers Mary being bitter. At the time, she was too young to really understand why.

Though now, she knows Piney's infidelities weren't even close to a secret. Being married to a patch now, she knows it's not easy. She knows some might say it's weak to walk away, but she admires those you have the strength to. Alma thinks it would be easier to stay. She had been 14 when Mary had finally got her divorce after years of estrangement.

It seemed Mary didn't look back until the birth of Kenny 6 years ago.

Mary's hazel's eyes scrutinize her. "You look like your mother."

"Uhh…thanks."

"It broke her heart when you got pregnant by Jax, no less." Mary adds. "You were only a child. He knew better."

Alma resists the urge to roll her eyes. She already knows her mother's feelings about the father of her children and her relationship with him.

"Your mother and I speak from experience. Don't dismiss our knowledge." Mary adds. "Do you see what Donna is going through? It could've been you."

"You think I don't know that." Alma protests.

"Just because you have children with Jax doesn't mean you have to be with him." Mary elaborates. "This life is just pain and suffering. Look at Donna, Luann, your mother, and hell even Gemma."

"You only talk about this when times are bad." Alma refutes weakly. Everyone is ready to hurdle the greatest insults when times are regrettably bloody. Yet, there is only silence when the bank account becomes heavy. When there are riches to indulge in.

Mary shakes her head. "I wanted Opie out of this, but he went running back to his father. This club will always come first to all of them. As a mother, do you think I wanted this for my son? Do you want this for your own son?"

Alma feels a ball forming in her throat. Of course she wants more for her son – children. But as a mother she can only do so much without stifling or hindering their child from being their own person. "All I know is that whatever choice my son makes I wouldn't abandon him. I would be there to support him and guide him even when he is wrong."

.

.

.

The clubhouse is quiet. They had already known what Opie's sentence was going to be. He had taken a plea bargain. There wasn't going to be any surprising developments. No judge was going to grant leniency. Opie was doomed from the moment he got arrested.

But there is someone Jax can lay the blame on. There is someone who should be in jail right now and not his best friend. The club hadn't decided to make any decisions yet. They wanted to be focused on Opie. Give their full attention to his best friend and how they were going to provide protection for him in prison. How they were going to support Donna for these next five years. Yet, for Jax it took everything in his power to not kill Kyle from where he stood. The vote on what to do with Kyle wasn't going to be until Sunday night. It was only Tuesday.

Jax takes another swing from his sweating beer bottle. He knows Alma is going to stay the night over at Donna's and his kids are with his mom. He thinks after a few more drinks he might just make the journey over to Opie's. He knows if the positions were reversed that Opie would be with Alma and his kids. He takes another drink of his beer and finishes it. The Prospect takes it and quickly replaces it with another one.

Jax holds the bottle as he turns around. The depressed mood doesn't stop a party. It's not the loud ones they are used to entertaining. But the booze, weed, and scantily clad women still roam around the room.

Nothing like losing a brother, thankfully to just prison, to make them appreciate their freedom and the overabundance of pussy.

Jax ignores the eyes wandering over his melancholy frame. Despite Alma's constant presence and the signs of a happy and satisfying marriage, women still try to tempt him to stray into their bed. He thinks the only activity he might participate in is the ring. Since Happy came into town, he knows that the nomad won't hold his punches either. The only thing he would have to worry about is Alma's fretting and narrowed eyes as she scolds him about what in the hell he would explain to their kids about his owies.

Maybe he should just leave. After everything with Opie and Kaylee, he needs to be with his wife and his kids. It's not too late and he still can stop by his mom's before heading to be with Alma.

He swallows the rest of his beer and ignores the slight brain freeze he gets. He moves from the bar.

"You headin' home, Jackie Boy?' Chibs asks as he joins him on the way to the door.

"Yeah, I'm going to check on the kids then to Alma."

Chibs grips his shoulders. "We'll get through this, ya hear me."

"I know." Jax tells him with a small smile. He just needs to be strong for Ope's family and for Opie.

Chibs smiles as they exit the clubhouse. The sun is low and in 20 minutes the streetlights will kick on. His kids are probably going to get ready for a movie and popcorn.

"Jax?"

Chibs smile falls and Jax's body goes still. The few who lingered outside go deathly quiet as they look back and forth between Jax and the owner of the voice.

Jax makes a fist as for the first time in weeks he has looked at Kyle. He took it upon himself to bar Kyle from meetings and the clubhouse until Opie's sentence. But now…Jax sees red.

One second Jax is standing next to Chibs and the next he has gripped Kyle by his short as he slams him onto the table.

He doesn't register the table collapsing under their weight. How the spilt beer is creating a puddle around them.

Jax and Kyle are similar in weight and height. However, Jax is leaner while Kyle has an extra couple pounds with his bulk. They all used to work out together. Him, Kyle, and Opie spent hours in the gym together, so Jax is familiar with Kyle's weak spots. Jax has the advantage of surprise and his fucking rage as he straddles Kyle and his hands latch onto the man's neck and restrict his air ways.

Kyle doesn't go for punches as he tries to pry his hands away from his neck. Jax is partially aware of the silence.

Though he feels hands on him when he notices Kyle is turning a dangerous shade of blue.

"Jackie Boy," Chibs shouts as he manages to hook his arms underneath his shoulders. Chibs manages to loosen his hold and pulls him away for a few precious seconds.

But Chibs can't combat the fire inside of him. Jax shakes himself loose from his hold. Kyle only has time to worry about replenishing his oxygen when Jax strikes again.

The first punch, Jax connects with Kyle's temple.

The second punch, Jax feels his knuckles take the brunt of hitting him in the Jax.

The third punch busts Kyle's nose.

The fourth punch has blood coating Kyle's left eye like mascara and eyeshadow.

The fifth punch, Kyle accepts defeat.

The sixth punch, Kyle spits out blood as Chibs and Tig manage to pull Jax off him.

"It's done!" Chibs shouts in his face.

Jax resists the urge to spit on Kyle's prone form as he walks away to his bike.

.

.

.

The first month seems to be the easiest Alma thinks. The wound is too fresh to really notice what Opie's absence feels like. Alma never really realized how much Opie was so integrated into her life. She forgot how much Opie would stop by to visit with or without Donna and the kids. Even though he had kids of his own, he played the role of doting Uncle to a T. Better yet, he was someone she could lean on when Jax would get on her nerves.

There were no more Sundays of him and Jax rotating spending the day together in one of their garages restoring a bike to sell or keep for their own sons. It's hard to let go of him being a phone call away. The reassurance of him there is something he can't rely on.

It's the second month that Alma realizes she needs to find a way to fill the hole of his absence.

She doesn't ask what happened to Kyle. She figured it out when Jax came home with bloody hands. April, Kyle's wife of 3 years, divorced him under the guise of infidelity, but staying in Charming with the kids. She wasn't blind to his missing picture on their mugshot wall of fame.

She tries to help Donna as much as she can or the woman will allow, but she can only try so much before she becomes angry herself. She doesn't know how to explain to Donna that Opie's patch has nothing to do with the help she is offering. Her wanting to help Donna has nothing to do with her obligations of being an Old Lady. She finds it best for now to let Donna simmer. She hopes maybe the fire will turn to ash at some point. Alma will still be there no matter what.

Besides, she has Jax to focus on too. She thinks he is handling it better than she anticipated, or the fact as a patch is a consequence of the life they chose. He still has his days where he will ride by himself in the glowing twilight, or in the hazy dawn of the morning.

By somehow the days glide by and it is a sticky summer day for the annual "Fun Town" festival. On top of that, her mother is in town. Her mother's visits are not really welcomed by anyone outside of her kids. They are still young enough to not really notice the tension she brings to Jax and Gemma.

"Is Donna coming to Fun Town?" Ann asks her. Jax had taken Nathan to get his haircut before heading to the festival. Kaylee decided to tag along so she wouldn't feel left out.

"No, most weekends she heads to her parents."

"Such a shame," Ann adds with a sigh. "Just to think that could've been you."

Alma doesn't reply. She begins switching her purse to a smaller one, but big enough to carry emergency items that are needed for small children.

"I can say that I didn't think this would've lasted as long as it did, or maybe you are better with the out of sight out of mind."

Alma's spine stiffens. She knows her mom is talking about the run policy. Technically, Jax could do whatever he wanted. The boys would see no wrong as long as he isn't on their home turf. She had no cause to complain or cause strife.

She also isn't blind to her husband's look or life choices before he knocked her up. Since he hit puberty Jax always had a different girl on his arm. Even when Tara had been his first serious girlfriend it didn't stop his wandering eyes. She can recall the many times he had use that insecurity to ruffle Tara's feathers on one of their numerous breaks.

Worse, she wasn't even anything to Jax when they slept together that one time that got her pregnant. When she really thinks about it, Jax's sudden desire to sleep with her had to be him simply marking his territory. She had been dating Josh Collins. Her first real boyfriend, one she suspected she loved. He had been pressuring her a bit to take that final plunge. She was rightfully nervous. Being raised in the club, a reputation had been bestowed on her.

They had a terrible fight at a party. She had called Jax with tears running down her face. Of course, Jax and Josh got into a fight that only happened when Josh had accused her of already sleeping with Jax.

Jax had taken her home. He offered to stay. Her mom was gone for the weekend. Jax claimed he didn't want to be at the clubhouse. He had been more subdue, or sad really. Tara had finally decided she was going to college far away from Charming.

It was natural to find comfort in Jax's arms as she told him everything. How she was going to sleep with Josh for the very first time. Jax was sort of her best friend like Opie. They were her protectors. Her everything at that point.

But when Jax kissed her, he simply became more.

When it was over she felt guilty and embarrassed. She told Jax that it could never happen again. After all, technically he was with Tara still. She could never be that girl. She was only barely 16 and him being on the cusp of 18, he has a newbie patch. What she would want wouldn't fit in what he could give her.

She pushed him away. Her and Josh broke up especially after she learned that Amanda Green had tended to his wounds.

Four months later, she was staring at jeans that couldn't fit any more and denial burning her throat as she released her guilt in porcelain.

And sure there were bumps in the road with her relationship with Jax. She was young. She still is.

She remembers the many arguments her parents had over the other women. It wasn't until after the birth of Nathan when she came back from her six week checkup that she set the terms with Jax. She couldn't share him. Just because they had a son didn't mean they needed to be together. She didn't care about him having to soothe the scandal of him messing with a first 9's daughter. The only daughter that was a "legacy".

For six years she has trusted Jax, she isn't going to let her mind unravel that now. She and Jax aren't her parents. She's not her mother.

"Mom, can we please not do this? Can you at least try to be civil to Jax?" Alma implores.

"How can I be civil towards him? He took advantage of you. You were 16! He knew better!"

"Mom, I could've said no, but I didn't." Alma says tired of this argument. She feels her mom brings up the same facts every time. "Besides, there is nothing in the world that would make me take back Nathan and Kaylee."

The mention of Nathan and Kaylee cracks her mom's righteous façade a little. "I love my grandbabies, I do, Al, but can't you see things from my perspective? It hurts me to know you're stuck here in this town. I worry that one day I might get a phone call about Jax going to jail or being killed." Her mom's breath catches in her throat. She wishes her mom could simply just ask her about the weather or hell what laundry detergent she uses. She doesn't really want to dismiss her mother's words. She was an old lady and it obviously changed her.

The front door opens and Nathan and Kaylee look like blurs as they run into the kitchen. Alma holds them tight as she presses kisses to their heads. Her mother watches with a sad smile.

.

.

Thankfully her mom doesn't spend her time in Charming at one of the fancy hotel franchises the Hale's own. The Ramada is too low class for her.

Alma is fresh from the shower and has just wrapped her hair in a microfiber towel when Jax approaches from behind.

He holds her close and sways a bit. She closes her eyes as she leans back and enjoys this simple moment. She runs her fingers over the tattoo memorial of his father and of their son's name.

"I think today went well all things considered." She opens her eyes to find Jax nods his head. She knows that he doesn't really agree. She turns around and folds her fingers behind his neck. "What?"

His hands find her hips as he nudges her back into the countertop and as if she weighs nothing, he places her on top. He begins to rub circles into her thighs. "You know I don't like your mother."

"And…"

Jax's blue eyes burn into her whiskey ones. "I just feel like she only criticizes you. She always has something to complain about."

"If she didn't she wouldn't be my mother."

"Al…" Her husband whines.

"Jax…" She mocks.

"I'm being serious." Jax replies as he makes his home between her thighs. She splits her legs to accommodate him as the fabric of her black short cotton robe bunches at her thighs.

"I don't know what to say Jax." After all, her mother saves her grievances just for her. Ann knows better than to badmouth Jax in front of the kids. Her hands find purchase in his blonde hair. She presses a kiss to his check and nose. She manages to get a smile before she meets his lips. He is at first reluctant, but as she presses her body into his and her legs lock around him, he sighs against her lips. She immediately deepens the kiss as her tongue demands entrance into his mouth.

Jax groans and she smiles as he melts into her kiss. "I love you," she whispers against his lips.

She loves him no matter what her mother says. She loves him as the father of her children. She loves him as her husband. She loves him as the man that doesn't complain when she needs him to paint her toenails because she is too lazy to do it. She loves him not despite his flaws but because of them.

.

.

.

Jax throws an extra pair of his jeans in his bag as he watches Alma pout from the bed. The run was impromptu as ATF had made a temporary home in Charming. It had Hale's stink all over it. Hale seemed to have a little heart as he at least waited for the dust to settle on Opie's arrest before making his move. It seemed despite the four months since the warehouse explosion it was enough evidence for the ATF to grapple onto.

Now they need to find somewhere to store their guns after the vomit inducing storage crate they were forced to do after an impromptu search. Now they were heading into Nevada to visit Uncle Jury. Usually Alma doesn't linger or pout this much, but with her mother's recent visit she seems to plant non-existent troubles that he needs to weed through.

He zips his bag and he plants both hands on the side of Alma's face. She frowns and he laughs as her nose scrunches up. "I'll be back tomorrow."

"Why do you have to go?" Alma presses.

"Because Uncle Jury likes me better."

"Or he likes your money."

Jax's lips tug up. "Maybe."

Alma punches him in the stomach and Jax manages to pull her tight against him. "I'm just…it's…Nevada is Mayan territory, Jax."

Jax feels guilty that he immediately thought Alma was worried about the brothel Uncle Jury called him that would be open to Jax. Alma never has hassled him on croweaters and the run policy since their one and only conversation after Nathan was born. She trusted him and he wasn't stupid. He was more than satisfied with what he had at home.

"I'll be careful." He promises. "It's just me and Bobby. Low profile."

"You can't be low profile with that kutte and bike, Jackson." Alma remarks bitterly.

"Hey…" Jax says as he looks into her dark eyes. Alma may be moody sometimes before runs, but she usually isn't like this. He knows she isn't on her period as despite 6 years of marriage she isn't comfortable with period sex. So it's always at least a week each month they go without sex. "Something else bothering you?"

Alma pulls back from him and she falls back onto the bed. She spreads out and sighs. "Sorry."

Jax eyes his wife's form. She covers her eyes with her forearm, but she doesn't elaborate. He peeks at the skin that has been exposed from her sudden movements. He smiles as he bends down and blows a raspberry against her stomach.

Alma jerks and he immediately locks her down and begins blowing more. "Jax, stop!" Alma yelps between laughter.

It isn't long before their kids become curious as they jump on the bed. He is easily outnumbered as they work to save their mom. It isn't long before small hands pull him down to the bed. He lies on the bed, his cheeks hurt from the laugher and smiles. As he looks at his family, their eyes sparkling, he wouldn't trade this for anything in the world.

.

.

With Jax gone, Alma is left alone with the kids. Being a weekday, both of them have school. It leaves Alma with plenty of time for herself. Despite many offers to watch Ellie for Donna free of charge, Donna only takes advantage on Thursday and Friday. Being Monday, Alma finds herself with nothing to do. She feels guilty for abandoning her job search, but with everything happening to Opie it seemed that would have been the last thing anyone needed. With a clean house and no kids, Alma finds herself driving the familiar route to the clubhouse.

It's weird to think that this structure out of brick and wood has such a significant importance to her life.

Maybe Gemma needs help, or wants to go to lunch.

She pulls into a parking spot. The lot is busy and loud from the machines. She waves to the workers. Tig whistles at her. She flips him off. She finds Gemma in the office with a stack of paperwork. Her reading glasses on the bridge of her nose.

"Hey, sweetheart."

Alma smiles as she sits on the couch. "Hey."

"Bored?" Gemma questions.

Alma shrugs her shoulders.

Gemma chuckles. She pulls the glasses off her face. "Missing Jax?" She surmises and looks at the clock. "He isn't around for you to give him his afternoon snack."

Alma wrinkles her nose. "Gross. I came to see if you wanted lunch or help."

"I could always use an extra pair of hands, or the company." Gemma replies. "But today isn't all that bad, but thanks for the offer. We can leave for lunch though in about 30."

"Anytime," Alma replies. "So have you met this ATF agent?"

Gemma shakes her head. "No, but I imagine she is going to start sniffing pretty soon. You and I will be the next target."

"Lovely," Alma drawls.

"I'm more worried about Donna."

"Why?"

"You see how much she misses Opie. Probably would do anything to get him back."

Alma doesn't know whether to be offended for her friend or not. She knows that Donna would never do that. No matter the desperation, anger, or sorrow. "She wouldn't…"

"This Agent is going to push and pull at her. The smallest of things could take these boys down. Opie was so worried about keeping her in this bullet it might backfire. It will backfire."

"We shouldn't…we shouldn't write her off and think about her like that. If she wanted to do that…she would've when the charges were first coming down hard." Alma says in defense of her friend.

Gemma doesn't say anything. Alma knows Gemma is cynical of most things.

"You could try to be…nicer." Alma hedges.

"Nice?"

"You know what I mean."

"Hmm, maybe she shouldn't stick her nose up then. She knew who Opie was. Knew where his loyalties lie."

"Yeah, but she wasn't born in this Gemma. You can't deny that the first time John got locked up that he was angry and hurt."

Gemma softens at the mention of John. Though the look is immediately washed away by her standard hardened exterior. "Still you don't turn your back on family." Gemma doesn't add like Mary did and Ann did. Hell, she wouldn't be surprised if Precious, Bobby's ex-wife was on that list as well.

"Just give her time."

"That's like watering a dead flower," Gemma answers before answering the garage's business line.

.

.

Jax feels guilty that it took six months before he could visit his friend in Chino. One, he didn't want to take away any visits from Donna. He would have gone on more trips if she was refusing to allow them to follow her. She would make the trip early in the morning to make it there by 11 am. She spent the whole duration of Opie's visiting hours for the trip she would only take once a month. Her only day off during her workweek was Sunday as she was working overtime on Saturdays. He wasn't sure how Donna was doing it.

But Jax kept up with his friend through phone calls and letters. After making sure Donna didn't mind if he had this Sunday, he booked the visit after the long wait of his paperwork to be approved. He knows he plans on making a visit with his kids and Alma. He just knows that the judge had been particularly petty to sentence Opie six hours away.

Despite Rosen's pleas, Opie has been denied transfer to Stockton. Rosen advised it would be smart to exhaust, but wait a year into his sentence to show he is a model inmate.

Jax enters the cold and stale visiting room. He scans the lot and finds his friend already sitting. A wide smile is on his face. Jax rushes over and immediately braces his friend tightly. He is taken back by the weight his friend has already lost, but he embraces his friend tightly.

"I miss ya, bro." Jax tells him.

"Me too. Thanks for the pictures of the kids and Alma. Feels more like home."

They both take a seat in the hard chairs. "You need anything? Money?"

"Your mom already has me covered," Opie says with a chuckle. Jax can only imagine the smoke Opie is accumulating from poker games, or better yet the small commissary he is probably building.

"How's art class?" Jax asks cryptically. It was their code for the Nords. It was a hard bargain brokering the deal with the wannabe Nazi's as it came to a hard line that they wouldn't mess with the Nords as long as they didn't sell in Charming.

"It's been easy. Been working on the landscape." Opie is working on feeling them out. "The fence needs some work, but I'm happy I don't need to paint a tool shed." Opie hasn't been asked to do anything to compromise his sentence. He is just the appearance of muscle.

"Let me know if you need anything."

"Actually, I might need you to talk to Rosen for me."

Jax's brows furrow. "For what?"

Opie scratches his black beanie. "Donna's not happy. I don't want to keep her tied down."

Jax feels his mouth go dry. "Wait…you're thinking about a divorce?"

"5 years is a long time."

"So?"

Opie buries his face in his hands. "Can we ignore who we are for a second and look at the reality. I'm stuck here for five years minimum, that is if I can get on parole. It's not right for me to expect her to wait."

"Ope, people have gone through longer sentences. Christ, it's not like you're in here for murder or some shit."

"But we're not other people." Opie replies. "I can already see the toll this is taking on her. This isn't even about me and my feelings. This is about Donna."

"Donna just wants you to keep your head down and come home." Jax interjects.

"Did she actually say that?" Opie implores.

A heavy feeling settles in Jax's guys as he imagines the type of stilted visits Opie has been enjoying for the past six months. "Ope…she's just adjusting…"

Opie snorts. "I don't want her to become bitter and angry because of me. I don't want her to stay when she is unhappy. What happens when I come home?" Opie looks up at him with wide hazel eyes. "Whatever…trust…we had is broken. She'll always been suspicious. I'll turn her into someone she's not."

"Christ, Ope, it's only been six months. See where you are a year from now. If Al –"

"Don't tell, Alma, please just keep this between us." Opie begs.

Jax would've laughed if his best friend wasn't deadly serious. "I won't, I promise."

"I can already hear her screaming in my head. She would probably scalp me over the phone." Opie jokes.

Jax chuckles. "Yeah and she would take it out on me."

"Thank her for me. I know she is probably the only person in Donna's corner."

"You just can't think negative bro. Sure Donna's pissed, but dwelling on this isn't going to help you through this. If Donna was really pissed she wouldn't be making these 6 hour trips. You need to hold on to what's good. Not let it go."

.

.

The "Taste of Charming" festival is Gemma's annual PR campaign. Charming has a love hate relationship with the club. They are willing to turn a blind eye to all the shit until it gets bloody. Charming doesn't complain that it keeps the franchises out of the town. It kept everything local and contained.

Like they weren't complaining about this year's good will campaign was going to benefit the school's music program.

Alma did her part and helped with the flyers, setting up, and she even let her kids used their wide innocent eyes to sell tickets for the many raffles.

However, her main focus is looking after Donna. It took her forever to even agree to come to the annual fundraisers. She knows Donna has slowly become more reclusive since Opie's prison sentence began. She wants to tell Donna that hiding is only going to make things worse.

The only good thing is the kids are having fun.

Donna is watching the kids play with water guns when Alma joins her with a funnel cake and pop. Donna gives her a small smile as she accepts the food.

They eat in silence. It's how it is between them now. Neither of them knows how to fill the silence if it doesn't revolve around the kids. She hates how things are turning out between them.

"Thanks for coming out Donna." Alma settles on.

The brunette prison widow nods her head. "There's no point in hiding away."

"Don –"

"It's alright. I know how I've been. But thank you for being here even with the things I've said."

"I know that you do the same for me." Alma soothes as she reaches out and grabs her hand.

"But I've been meaning to ask you," Donna begins. "I've seen April Hobart around…what happened to Kyle?"

Alma freezes. "He left."

Donna scrunches her brows. "Left?"

"Yeah. He's not a member and him and April got a divorced."

"He just left though?" Donna repeats. "You can do that?"

As Donna's wide and hopeful eyes look up at her, Alma knows her friend has hope – dangerous false hope. She needs to find a way out of this conversation. Alma goes to open her mouth to explain it is much more complicated than just leaving.

She jumps as hands enclose around her waist and she finds a kiss being planted on her head. Sandalwood, gasoline, leather, and smoke flood her senses.

"Kids know their way around a gun," Jax jokes, but Donna does not find it funny as her face falls.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Donna mumbles as she makes a quick exit.

Alma turns to her husband and glares at him. "Really, Jax?"

He gives her a blank stare as he straddles the picnic bench and caging her slightly between his thighs. He steals some pieces of her funnel cake. "I saw her staring at April. I could tell where the conversation was going."

"Don't you think she should know everything?" She didn't see the benefit of keeping Donna in the dark. She deserved to know the whole truth.

"What would the truth do? Doesn't change that Opie still is going to rot in jail for the next five years." Jax remarks bitterly.

"I would want the truth." Alma interjects.

"You already have it."

"But if I didn't. It's almost like you're…" Alma stops herself before she can really say what's on her mind.

"We're what?"

Alma backs down. "Nothing. It doesn't change anything anyways."

Jax's blue eyes soften and he pulls her into his arms. "I love you."

"I love you too."

But it doesn't stop her from thinking that it could've been him too.

.

.

Jax is grateful that his one meet for the day was with Piney's old jarhead buddy. He had a bad feeling about the son. When it comes to selling guns, but Jax had made a hard peace with the fact the bullets of the guns aren't doling out harmless water.

He didn't want to think about the moral ramification of his outlaw ways. The kids would still be at school and it left him with a few hours of alone time with his wife. A lecherous smile comes across his face as he thinks about the naughty things he has planned, but stops at the couple of unfamiliar cars parked in his driveway.

He enters the house and he is immediately hit with the scent of nail polish, acetone, and his ears already ring from the high pitched squeals, which he supposes is categorized as laughter.

He walks through to the dining room near the open windows where Alma usually has her mini nail salon set up.

It's been awhile since Alma had people over to do nails. In fact, she hasn't mentioned how her job search was going, or if she even was still looking for a job.

He doesn't feel like dealing with curious eyes. They are both aware of the fact most of the people that went to Alma for her nails were just curious about the state of her marriage to Jax.

Jax walks into the kitchen and goes into the fridge where the laughter seems to stop at his arrival. He turns and leans against the counter and is relieved to find that Alma is in the process of cleaning up as the woman's hand is under some fancy drying contraption.

Eying the beach blonde stringy hair and the orange tan, he recognizes the girl as Alicia Rogan, who is drying her nails and the companion is Diane Lawrence. Both girls were on the cheerleading team in high school. Alicia had tried to give him a blow job on one of his numerous breaks with Tara in high school. She does possess a decent rack and he had heard stories about her certain skill set from rumors in school. Though he also heard about her having some problems he wasn't looking to contract.

Diana had always turned her nose up at him.

"Well, I'll let you two be. I can only imagine how exhausting two kids can be." Alicia says sweetly as she passes Alma some money. "I'll see you in two weeks. It was nice seeing you, Jax."

Jax gives them both a tight smile as they find their own way out of the house. Jax takes a swing of his beer as he watches Alma clean up. She is wearing short jean shorts, a white wife beater, along with one of his flannels. Her brown hair is up in a very sloppy bun.

"So should I expect more strangers in the house?"

Alma rolls her eyes. "They honestly just showed up. Must be bored with their crop of gossip."

"So we are just so entertaining?"

"You're something to look at." Alma retorts as she enters the kitchen and then washes her hands.

"Well this merchandise is off the market."

"Lucky me, huh?"

Jax smiles. "So how is the job search going?"

"I think there have been more pressing matters to deal with."

"Maybe, but you're already doing so much, I don't want you to forget about yourself, babe." Jax explains as he comes up behind her.

"Its just…Donna needs my help. And maybe right now isn't the right time."

"If you say so."

Alma turns around and her fingers trail over his kutte. "So are you done for the day?"

"Just me and you, babe." Jax informs her as he grips the back of her thighs and throws her over his shoulder as he races to their bedroom.

.

.

.

The kids had an in-service day. Jax was working at the garage. The kids were outside running in the backyard. Jax had recently bought them a trampoline and as it was new they were spending every second outside jumping on it.

Alma is inside making them a simple lunch of a sandwich, chips, and apples and peanut butter. She has just grabbed some juice boxes when a knock comes from the door. Opening it she finds a tall scrawny blonde in a pantsuit and blonde hair staring at her with an amused smile.

"Can I help you?" Alma greets. She has a feeling she knows who this woman is.

"Mrs. Teller, I'm Agent Stahl, A.T.F." The woman shows her badge. "May I come in?"

"You got a warrant?"

Stahl raises an eyebrow. "I just have a few questions. I'm not here for anything more."

Alma clenches her jaw, but opens the door wider. She leads the agent to the small kitchen table. "Wait, here." She orders.

Alma goes to the sliding door and calls for her kids that its time for lunch. She directs them to the living room and allows them to eat while watching TV, something she doesn't normally do. It's enough to distract them though that they don't pay attention to the fed lingering in the kitchen.

"Cute kids." Stahl comments. "I think your son thinks like your father."

Alma scowls. "You said you had some questions."

"Do you know any illegal activity that your husband, Jax Teller, or the Sons of Anarchy are involved in?"

"No."

"What about your husband's whereabouts yesterday morning?"

"He was here, at the garage, and came back. There were no kids home so it was just us."

"Well that was easy." Stahl says as she hikes her purse up her shoulder.

"What are you even looking for?"

"You know I seen your friend Donna. I can tell Opie Winston's prison sentence is taking a very hard toll. You have two beautiful children, you're young. I hope your children don't know what it's like to lose a father from prison or a bullet. I know you know how that feels."

"I think you should go. I already answered your questions."

"Right. I imagine we'll be seeing each other again."

Alma follows Stahl all the way to do the door. She waits until the woman's government issued car is down the block before she goes to her computer and loads up the Charming Gazette. The top story of the day is of a prison van escort being ambushed by men with guns. A cop was killed in the attack.

.

.

.

Jax stubs his cigarette in the ashtray as he sits next to Clay in the Pub. It's the local Irish spot where they meet their contact from the IRA. Jax thinks it's a little on the nose, but it's only a meet. They don't exchange anything outside of words and some cash. There isn't anything to connect what the money could be exchanged for.

"You alright, son?"

Jax's blue eyes flicker over to Clay's. "He's late."

Clay nods his head. Jax can see the tension in his stepfather's shoulders. It seems hit after hit keeps coming from the warehouse explosion, Opie's prison sentence, and the prison transport van being attacked. Thankfully, there was nothing to connect them to being the providers of the gun. It was only hearsay that had the Feds flashing their badges all over town. He was peeved to find out that Stahl had the nerve to go to his home when the kids were there. He knows that was a calculated move.

Still, the high profile of the case had made it hard for them to sell the remaining guns. Despite Piney's vocal protests because of military bonds they had no choice but to get rid of the right wing militia.

Clay's eyes flicker to the door where Tig is at the bar keeping watch. Tig seems uneasy too. The door swings open and a blading skinny man walks through. The bartender nods at him and motions towards him and Clay.

Jax sits up straighter as the man comes to their table. Tig immediately stops him. The bartender intervenes, seemingly vouching for the man. Tig eyes them skeptically. He makes the man wait as Tig comes over.

"Cameron Hayes, Michael's cousin. With the cause. Doesn't come stateside much." Tig informs them.

Clay nods and Cam Hayes walks over. "Where's McKeevy?" Clay asks before the man can even take a seat.

"He's dead."

"Jesus." Jax says. He wonders how come they haven't heard anything on it. Though maybe this news is something that needs to come in person.

"How?" Clay ponders.

Cam Hayes eyes narrow. "The Oakland park commissioner threatened to bust open... a shipment we got coming in on Monday. Wants to triple his payoff money. Hefner. Greedy prick." The man snarls. "Been riding roughshod over the ports for years. Michael was pissed. Went off on him for changing the deal. Must have spooked Hefner. He had his port goons jump Michael. They beat him, broke his neck. Left him for dead."

"Sorry. That's awful shit, man. Condolences." Jax replies.

"Thank you." Cam says gratefully.

Clay tilts his head. "Anything we can do to help with this?"

"No. No, it's personal." Cam answers. "I'll handle Mr. Hefner." Cam sits up straighter. He turns serious as he begins to discuss their business. "Michael spoke very highly of SAMCRO. Trusted you. Hope to be able to continue the relationship. That's why I'm here. I'll be your new contact."

Clay grimaces. "I mean no disrespect. I'm sure everything you're saying is the truth-"

Cam nods his head understanding. "No, no. Wish we had a secret handshake or business card." He digs in his pocket and pulls out a photo. It shows Cam along with Mckeevy and other people wielding guns. Jax spots Jimmy O and Keith McGee, the Belfast president. It seems to be enough for Clay.

Tig picks up the black bag from the floor. "That's the package there that we were delivering to McKeevy. Two months, and a month insurance, 200 K."

"Mind if I take a quick count?"

"I got all night, brother."

"Thank you." Cam says as he moves to another table.

"Shit," Clay mutters.

"You think that is why ATF came down too. Hoping to catch Hayes?" Jax wonders.

"Could be. We're going to have to be really careful."

Jax fights the urge to snort. They always have to be careful.

Cam comes back to their table with the duffle bag. " Lovely. This will float the cause, keep SAMCRO and us in business. Glad we could work it out, Clay."

"Me too, Cameron." Clay exclaims as they shake hands. "How is, uh, the cause going?"

"Like any good war- slow and steady." The Irishman tells them.

Clay grabs the untouched shot on the table and they all do the same. "Michael McKeevy. Good soldier, good friend. To a unified Ireland."

They are unprepared as the glass around them explodes.

.

.

Jax sits in the chapel as they grimly go over last night's attack. Luckily no one was killed, but Cameron Hayes had walked away with a bullet to the ass. Someone Chibs was able to remove the slug and stick the man up, but Cameron wouldn't be going anywhere for a while. There was also the fact; Cameron had been mumbling about handling Hefner and the club had agreed to do it. Their payment would be refunded if they could.

Still with Mayans deciding to do such a violent attack only meant they had to go to war. It was going to be Bloody '92 all over again.

Clay is about to dismiss church after all agrees to summing all the Presidents and Vice Presidents to Charming.

"Before we go, I need to say something." Piney says gruffly. "If we are going into a war, we need someone better at our President's side. Let's face it, I'm getting old and this oxygen tank is slowing me down. I'm stepping down as VP and I'm nominating Jax to take my place."

.

.

.

Jax is still in a slight stupor from Piney's announcement. There is a smile on his face, but this is a big change. He walks into his former dorm room. His kids are tucked under the covers sleeping. With the Mayans attacking it meant all of them were in lockdown. He begins to remove his shoes, kutte, and jewelry when the bathroom door opens. Alma is highlighted by the bathroom light in his oversized SAMCRO shirt.

"Hey." Alma whispers.

"Hey back," Jax replies. He watches as Alma lingers by the door. "Everything okay?"

"You first."

Jax steps out of his jeans and walks to his wife. He brings her into a hug. "For now. Tomorrow we'll really know. It's going to be busy with all the number ones and twos coming. But Piney nominated me to be Vice President."

Alma reels back. "What?"

"Yeah," Jax says with a dopey smile.

Alma wraps her arms around his neck and attacks him with kisses all over his face. "I'm so happy for you Jax."

"Thanks, babe. So you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Alma purses her lips and she tugs him into the bathroom. She points at the small stick resting on the counter.

"I'm pregnant."


	2. The Sleep of Babies

Jax and Alma are laying in bed in his dorm room. They are still in lockdown. It’s midafternoon and the kids are out with his mom. It left him and Alma some valued alone time. With the door locked and Alma’s shirt raked up to under her breasts, Jax takes the time to admire her flat stomach as his hand lays atop of it. He can really soak in that they will be having another baby in the house. He barely thinks about the fact he is about to be promoted to Vice President. It pales in comparison to this news. 

Though, as he tries to spot the small changes that pregnancy brings to Alma, he does disclose everything that has happened the past few days within the club. He brings up the general unease the guys feel about agreeing to sell to the Mayans despite their current deal with the Niners. 

“You don’t seem happy about it.” Alma points out. Her small hands grab his and she contorts his fingers as she pleases. A small smile forms as both of his kids do the same thing. 

“It’s less blood, but now the Niners won’t be happy.” It’s like exchanging one enemy to make a new one. 

Alma’s teeth tug at her lips. “They have to understand that it’s just business.”

“We promised to never sell to the Mayans.” He informs her. It was the one thing that gave them such an easy alliance. Now they will be selling guns to their enemies that will aid them in their ongoing turf war. 

Jax doesn’t want to talk of club business anymore. He shifts so that he is laying in between his wife’s legs. His breath tickles her stomach. “When can we announce the news?”

“I’m 10 weeks.” She informs him. “But I want to wait a little bit longer…”

“You’re worried?”

“Cautious. After Kaylee…I’m just cautious.” She informs him as she plays with his blonde hair. 

Jax places a kiss to her flat stomach. He doesn’t know how to ease her valid concerns, but it doesn’t take away the joy he feels for the upcoming expansion of his family. 

“I’m your old man,” he whispers to his unborn child. 

.

.

Jaxs’ smile threatens to break his cheeks as he embraces Opie. He clutches his friend tight and thanks god that he sees it fit to keep his friend safe and alive in prison. He is even thankful Darby has not broken his deal. 

He hates that his friend is stuck in prison for 5 years. But his friend is alive and that is all that matters. 

“Oh hell, don’t tell me you managed to knock Alma up again?” Opie guesses correctly. 

Jax smiles brightly. 

“Congratulations, bro.”

“Thanks. Having the two is crazy enough, but three,” Jax mutters. 

“You got yourself a good family.”

“The kids miss their Uncle Opie. Kaylee was upset she didn’t have the picture she wanted me to give you done in time.”

“I miss them. I miss all of them.” Opie tells him tightly. “But what else is going on?”

Jax lets the conversation change. “Well, you are looking at your new Vice President.”

“Get the fuck out of here.”

“We’re getting closer.” Jax tells him. They are getting closer to achieving their childhood dreams of being head of the club. 

“So new baby, promotion, what is the third thing we should be looking out for.”

Jax chuckles. “I don’t think the 3 rd thing will be a good one.”

Opie tugs at his beard. “That sounds ominous.”

“I painted a wall.” Jax informs him. 

Opie’s eyebrows skyrocket. “What color?”

“Blue for the green. Had to be done. It looks better with the black.”  _ Killed an official for the Irish. For the money.  _ They had to kill Brenan Hefner and they basically got a free shipment of guns. 

“Someone helped.”

“Yeah, but green isn’t turning out to be my favorite. Doesn’t look right. I covered the carpet and windows, but I’m not sure…”

“Well painting isn’t our business.”

“I know.” They weren’t hit men. But maybe the thought of new life has him having doubts about taking one. 

“It’s just the impending fatherhood.” Opie cautions. 

“Maybe.”

.

.

It’s funny that it isn't until Alma realizes she is pregnant that her house is incredibly small. It’s then she notices how it’s not just having two kids leave her tripping over toys, but the fact there is barely any room for them. Even after going through and having the kids decide what they wanted to keep or donate, she realizes a third baby would be a tight fit. 

Alma loves her small home. It was hers and Jaxs’. They managed to make it their home. It is where she raised her babies. She doesn’t want to give it up. She thinks maybe they could add to the house. 

She knows Jax would contemplate it although ultimately deciding it would be better off just to buy a new one. She thinks she could manage him to at least add a room. She imagines it would be cheaper. 

She just doesn’t want to give this up. She is attached to this house after all the work and love she has put into it. 

She smiles as with her being pregnant she knows she can convince Jax of nearly anything. They would be keeping the house. She stands in front of her bedroom mirror and lifts up her shirt. Before Jax had left to head to Chino to see Opie, the doctor had confirmed she was two months and a couple weeks into the 3 rd month. She turns to the side and she doesn’t really expect to see anything. She just looks bloated. But it’s all the evidence she needs to be extremely giddy about the pregnancy. 

She’s worried, of course, but it doesn’t stop the happiness at the thought of her and Jax bringing another child into the world. She doesn’t care if it’s a boy or girl. She just wants a healthy baby. 

A knock at the door startles. She drops her shirt and thinks it’s Gemma. She has the kids. She doesn’t know why she would knock, but she doesn’t think too hard on it. She walks to the door and expects the whirlwind of her children, but her body freezes at the sight of Agent Stahl standing at her doorstep. 

“Mrs. Teller –“

“Agent Stahl, how can I help you?” Alma interrupts. 

The tall blonde smiles at her. “I was just wondering where I could find your husband.”

Alma folds her arms across her chest. “I bet if you looked hard enough you could find him.”

“True, but actually I’m more interested in you and your family history.”

“Don’t know why? I’m not that much fun.”

Stahl chuckles at her. “I think dad would’ve had a problem with the Prince knocking up his daughter at 16.”

“This is old history, Stahl. The only person you could piss off with that knowledge is my mother. So tell me why you are here?”

Stahl quickly drops her charade and digs a photo out of her bag. “You recognize this man?”

Alma looks at a picture of an older gentleman. He looks like an average white man who could be anyone. “No, should I?”

“His name is Cameron Hayes. IRA. He is a known terrorist who we managed to track down in the Northern California area.”

“What does this have to do with me and my family?”

Stahl smirks. “A port commissioner was murdered a couple weeks ago. Rumored to piss off the IRA. Wondered if some friends helped with that.”

“Speculations don’t add to a warrant. If you appear on my doorstep one more time without one, I will call your superiors for harassment.”

“Gemma trains them well.” Stahl muses.

Alma keeps a blank face as Stahl walks back to her unmarked vehicle. It’s only her luck that Gemma pulls up into her driveway and Stahl even has the nerve to wave at the biker matriarch. Alma assumes the two women have already encountered each other. 

Alma steps down from the steps and goes to Gemma’s Escalade to help unbuckle the kids. 

“Mama!” Kaylee exclaims from her carseat. Alma unbuckles her and holds her close as she presses a kiss to her head. “Did you have fun with Grandma?”

“Lots!” Kaylee exclaims as she wiggles to be let down. “Is Daddy home?”

“Not yet,” She tells her daughter. Nathan doesn’t need help out of the car as he grabs his bag and rushes back in the house. Kaylee rushes in after him. 

She shakes her head and Gemma stands next to her. “What did Stahl want?”

“Just playing mind games.” Alma says brushing off the encounter. She’s been through this before. 

“It’s bullshit. They don’t have anything.” Gemma adds. 

“It’s all smoke going after the women, huh?” Alma knows the boys did something. She just doesn’t want to dwell on it. She wants nothing to distract her from the pregnancy. She doesn’t need the stress. 

It’s then that she gets a strong whiff of Gemmas’ perfume that her stomach turns. It has her running to the closest garbage can, which is in the kitchen. 

Fuck, her morning sickness couldn’t have come at a better time. She heaves and heaves until her throat burns something fierce. She groans and grimaces as she can smell her sour breath. She walks over to the sink to rinse her mouth out with some water. She needs a shower at this point. 

“So?” Gemma questions. “The last time I saw you throw up was when you decided to decorate my rose garden when you were pregnant with Kaylee.”

Alma takes another swish of the water. It seems the cat is out of the bag. She faces Gemma and wraps her arms around herself. “I’m two months along.” She admits. 

She watches as an ecstatic look overtakes Gemma’s features. The biker matriarch embraces her in a tight hug. “Another grandbaby. Who would’ve thought. Why the hush hush?”

“I’m just worried.”

“Sweetie –“

“I know.” Alma says with a sigh. She knows worrying will make her pregnancy more stressful, but she can’t help it.

“Everything will be fine.” Gemma assures her. 

.

.

.

It was quite easy to see that the wife of Opie Winston was the weakest link out of the few SAMCRO old ladies. Agent Stahl knows the recent single mother will crumble easily under the weight. Her intel had informed her how the small brunette had begun isolating herself from the inbred bikers. It was a rookie mistake and would leave the woman vulnerable. 

Stahl seats at the wooden table with the angry brunette. A baby is sleeping in a bassinet in the living room with the oldest boy coloring. Stahl tries to at least feel pity for these kids. 

“How are things going for you, Donna?”

“I’m pretty sure your notes already tell you how I am doing.”

Stahl gives her a stiff smile. “You’re smart, Donna. You can only see how SAMCRO is going to rip your family apart. It already has.”

“My family is fine.”

“And in five years…a lot can happen.” Stahl tells her as she leans up. “Are you aware of the enemies that your husbands’ motorcycle  _ club _ has? Mayans, Nords…just to name a few are surrounding your husband right now.”

“Are you threatening his safety?”

“I’m giving you the facts. Two kids, a single income…it is going to be hard to manage. You might fall behind on the mortgage or get in credit card debt.”

“And what can you help me with?”

“I can help your husband.” Stahl tells her bluntly. “I can get him out this year and as a sign of good faith move him closer to home. Six hours is a long drive.”

Donna snorts. “You really need to work on your sales pitch.”

“We both know when Opie gets out he is going to go back to the club…back to arson…or back to prison if he even makes it out of this sentence.” Stahl tells her without any care. “If anything, think about the two kids who will be without a father. They are more important than that club.”

Donna stands up from the table. “I don’t know shit about Opie’s club business. And even if I did, I'd never rat on him. Get out of my house, bitch.”

Stahl gives her a grim smile and doesn’t need to be told twice. Her partner, Estevez follows her out the house. 

“Well that went well.” Estevez mutters. 

Stahl chuckles. “No, it went perfectly well. She is going to run to Alma Teller. Means we got her rattled or doubting. We just need a crack.”

.

.

.

To see Donna on her doorstep after weeks of silence and broken playdates with the kids has thrown Alma for a loop. Clearly the recent prison widow is struggling and Alma is glad to help. However, she can’t help but feel this isn’t just out of Donna’s own doing. Something pushed her to try to mend the broken bridges she had been trying to burn. 

Alma knows she won’t be vindictive and turn her away. Ellie is sleeping peacefully and Kenny is glad to be back to playing with Nathan and Kaylee. It leaves the two women some privacy in the kitchen.

Alma has her own cup of green tea in front of her while Donna has a glass of water. Alma stares intently at the brunette and wonders when they start to become strangers. 

“What happened?” Alma asks softly. 

Donna chews on her bottom lip as she picks at her fingernails. “A fed came by my house. Was trying to see if I knew anything about Opie’s business.”

Alma blows on her tea and nods her head. “Agent Stahl, I presume.”

“She said she could get Opie closer to home and out in a year.”

“They will say anything to get you to make a slip up Donna. That would only hurt Opie and your family.” Alma replies. 

Donna’s brows furrow. “Opie is in jail that is hurting my family. This club  _ hurts _ my family.”

“You married into this, Donna. You knew going into this what could happen.”

Donna releases a bitter laugh. “So that excuses everything? I’m just supposed to accept that the father of my children is a convicted felon.”

The grip on her mug tightens. Alma knows she is treading on dangerous territory. She knows what she can say can push Donna in 20 different directions that can only hurt Opie. “If you talk to Stahl…you can get him killed, Donna.”

Alma watches as the blood leaves Donna’s face. Maybe, Alma shouldn’t have said that, but she also believes Opie should’ve had this talk with her. It would make a lot of things easier. 

“From who? The Mayans? Nords?” Donna hisses. 

Alma’s brows furrow and she assumes Stahl gave her those names. Alma thinks it is better for Donna to have that conclusion considering that Alma was talking about the club. Alma knew Jax would never let anything happen to Opie, but he was only one person. If Donna talked…

“From you. You coming here talking about giving a Fed information is gonna have him spun. He is going to be too focused about what is going to come out of your mouth than his safety in prison.” Alma tells her honestly. 

Donna releases a bitter laugh. “This can’t be happening. I came here for a friend and I feel like I am talking to Gemma.”

Alma takes a sip of her tea. “I don’t know what you want me to say. I’m not going to encourage you to rat.”

“Because your family is perfectly safe and fine right? Jax is still here. Who cares about Donna?”

“It isn’t even like that.” Alma snaps. “And the fact of the matter is one day I will probably be in your position or worse burying my fucking husband in an early grave. Don’t forget I grew up in this shit, Donna. I lost my father to this life.”

“And look where you are! Married to the fucking Vice President of the outlaw motorcycle club!” Donna roars. “What does that say about you, huh?”

“What’s going on here?”

Both Donna and Alma jump at the sound of Jax’s voice. His eyes are going back and forth between Donna and Alma. Alma can see his concern and agitation because the last thing she needs is stress during this pregnancy. 

“Nothing,” Donna spats. “I was just leaving.” 

Jax raises his eyebrow at the venom in her tone. He doesn’t stop her from leaving as she picks up Ellie’s carrier and interrupts Kenny playing with the kids to leave. She doesn’t bother with a goodbye and even slams their door. 

Alma moves from the table with her tea and places it in the sink. She hears Jax moving behind her and his arms wrap around her. 

“Does the club need to be concerned?” He asks her softly. 

“Stahl rattled her.” Alma admits. “And I don’t know what is going on in her head.”

“Going after the women is a smart tactic especially ones that have the most to lose.” Jax mutters to her. 

She turns in his hold to peer into his blue eyes. “What is going on Jax? Don’t tell me it’s smoke because they wouldn’t wait until after Opie’s case and sentence to start digging into club business.”

Jax pulls back some as he looks over her and sighs. His hands come up and caress her face. “I don’t want you worrying about this shit.”

“Don’t use this pregnancy to keep me at length. Not telling me shit keeps me worried.”

“A port commissioner was killed. He was the enemy of the Irish.” He tells her and nothing else. 

“Jax…” Alma knows there is more to the story. He isn’t telling her everything and it burns. 

“Babe, if it becomes something trust me I will let you know before shit hits the fan. Just focus on the little one, yeah.” He tells her as he pulls her close and back into a tight hug. 

Alma only nods her head against his chest. 

.

.

It was a close one Jax can admit. Luckily, with Unser on the payroll, it had been easy to sneak into the police to relay word to Luann about the Feds plan. Unfortunately, it meant Otto getting more infractions against him as he gave Stahl a busted nose and black eye. He hasn’t yet told the club about Donna’s visit to Alma or even Opie about his wife’s doubts. He hopes now that he won’t need to. 

The club is in a good mood. It still hasn’t settled in that he is now Vice President of his father’s club. He has just gotten through his first, but many waves of heat the club will always get. He didn’t fuck it up and that is a plus. He smiles as he spots Alma at the bar. The new Prospect, Half Sack, is keeping her company. 

God, his wife is beautiful and he knows he is a lucky bastard. He glances over to the portrait of her father. Sometimes, he wonders how he would’ve handled knowing he had gotten her pregnant and married her. Jax knows for sure he would’ve gotten his ass handed to him. Though he hopes the man is at least comforted in the fact he is taking care of her. He knows he treats Alma thousand times better than her father ever treated Ana. 

Jax makes his way to his wife and wraps his arms around her. She laughs at the affection, but she melts into the hold. 

“Miss me, baby?” She questions. 

“All the damn time,” he admits as Half Sack slides a beer to him. 

Alma smiles as she sips her cranberry juice. He moves to her side and is practically hovering over her. She doesn’t seem to mind. “I think we should tell people.”

“Now?”

He nods his head. “You’re closer to four months now. If you weren’t wearing loose sweaters people would know by now anyways.”

Jax can see her hesitation. He watches as the gears turn in her head. He doesn’t like it. His fingers pinch her chin bringing her back to him as he places soft delicate kisses on her lips. “It’ll be okay.”

Alma relaxes in his hold and she nods her head. A small smile pulls at her full lips. He slams his beer back before he pulls his beer close. 

With his right hand he brings his fingers up to his mouth a whistle gathering everyone’s attention. 

“Listen up, I got something to tell y'all.” He shouts. All eyes are on him. Curious as they look between him and Alma. He smiles wide. “I got another kid on the way.”

The club roars and he gives Alma a deep kiss before his brothers tackle him with hard slaps on his back in form of congratulation. 

.

.

It was hard saying goodbye to their old house. Due to Alma’s heightened emotions, they didn’t sell the house, but decided to tackle being landlords. Alma just could not give up their former home. 

The new home was a massive upgrade that Jax didn’t really care about and showed off the perks from his lifestyle. The European inspired home was 6 bedrooms with a 4 car garage. An in-ground pool in the backyard. 

To welcome them into the home there were massive columns and arched windows over the front door. From the foyer it featured two circular staircases leading to the balcony that overlooked the Formal living room. 

The kitchen included a prep island, a walk-in pantry, and a 6-person eat-at peninsula bar. Leaving the kitchen it opened into the breakfast room and family room, which featured a curved wall of windows. It also included a fireplace and directly across from there they had a covered porch. 

Like the family, the master suite also had a curved wall of windows and Jax and Alma were treated to their own private covered porch. Their master bathroom had a corner glass shower, a whirlpool tub, and walk-in closets for him and her. 

The hallway from the foyer leads to the spacious game room, large home theater and guest room with private bath. 

The second floor of the house, which basically belonged to the kids, included 4 additional bedroom suites each with a private bath. 

It was a beautiful home. 

Jax smiles as he brings his arms around his wife and caresses her bump. Alma pregnant is his favorite site in the world. He presses a kiss to her cheek as she giggles. 

“It is so big, Jax.” She whispers as they watch the Prospect being ordered by Kaylee where boxes are going. 

“Nothing but the best for my family.”

Alma turns in his arms. Her bump pressed against his stomach. Her brown eyes are glowing. “I love you.”

“I hope so. Being married to you ain't cheap.”

Alma scoffs as she slaps him in the stomach. “It’s cheaper to keep me. You remember that.”

Jax smirks and he gives his wife an Eskimo kiss. “So no Kobe rings could ever help me out in the future.”

“Are you purposely trying to irritate your pregnant wife?”

“Maybe.” Jax quips as he presses a kiss to her lips. 

“You’re a jerk.” 

“I’ll give her a full body massage later, yeah.” 

“You promise?”

“Of course, darlin’.” He promises as the doorbell rings. “I’ll get that. You should be sitting somewhere. Direct from the couch.”

“I’m perfectly capable of standing,” he hears Alma mutter to his back. 

Jax doesn’t bother checking the windows to see who is at the door. He thinks it is probably his brothers wanting to see where their new place to freeload is. 

He swings the door open and his good mood is instantly soured by the presence of Agent Stahl. “Can I help you?”

Stahl opens her mouth, but she is interrupted by the sound of his kids laughing behind him and Kaylee saddles up to his leg. 

“Daddy! You missed it. Half Sack –“ She stops as she looks at the group of suits at their door. 

“What’s going on, Dad?” Nathan asks as he too looks at the people on his steps. 

Jax manages to keep a straight face as he picks up Kaylee and presses a kiss to her head before setting her back down next to Nathan. “Go to your mom.”

Nathan’s eyes widen at his words. “Dad –“

“Go now,” Jax orders. 

No one is prepared for Kaylee to scream for her mother making all of them jump. They are all frozen when Kaylee attempts to close the door on the agents. “You’re not taking my Daddy!” She screams before latching onto her father tightly. 

“Jax – “Stahl begins. 

“Don’t do this now,” he says between clenched teeth. 

“Is your wife home?” Stahl asks instead. 

Her question is answered as Alma appears confused. “What is going on?” Half Sack is behind her. 

“Mrs. Teller, you need to take your daughter.” Stahl says. 

“What are you doing here?”

“I really wouldn’t like to do this in front of your kids.”

“Sack, take her,” Jax orders. 

The Prospect comes over and with a tight grip pries Kaylee away from him. Jax forces himself not to watch as his daughter’s screams and cries echo throughout the house. 

He presses a kiss to Alma, who is standing in shock as realization dawns on her. “I love you. Call my mom.”

He hugs his son real quick. “You take care of your mom and your sister and the little one.” Nathan nods and holds him tightly before letting go. 

Jax walks away from his family. 

He stands in front of Stahl as an agent with cuffs walks behind him. 

“Jackson Teller, you're under arrest for the murder of Brenan Hefner. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” Stahl says as she begins leading him to the unmarked car. 

He is silent as he walks to the car. He doesn’t resist as they push him in the backseat. 

He doesn’t want to look at his family as he is whisked away. But as the car pulls out of his driveway, he looks back as Nathan begins screaming for him. 

Alma stands behind their son who has turned in her arms. His tears staining her swollen belly. 

.

.

.

Sometimes, Alma hates the club. She hates the hierarchy it upholds. She hates that her husband is in jail. Right now, she thinks she may even hate Clay Morrow. It wasn’t as if she was a fragile newlywed. She had grown up in this shit. He was beating around the bush and not giving her a straight fucking answer on as to why her kids had to witness their father being arrested. 

“I know you’re upset –“

“I’m fucking pissed!” Alma snaps at her father in law. 

Clay purses his lips in displeasure as Gemma even keeps her lips shut as she massages his hands at their dining room table. 

Clay knows he is in a tricky spot. For one, he isn’t in the chapel and his status as President doesn’t matter right now. Right now he has his son’s wife demanding an answer because now club business is bleeding into family business. 

He isn’t about to open his mouth because he doesn’t know what Jax wants Alma to even know. At the same time, he doesn’t want to get taken out by some pregnant broad. He has dodged bullets from soldiers and rivals; his life isn’t coming to an end due to an angry pregnant woman. 

“Alma, jail time is always a risk for what we do.” He says slowly. He can see the steam rushing out of her ears. 

“Don’t be fucking patronizing. I want to know what the fuck he did.” Alma seethes. “I have that right.” She knows it is a murder charge, but she wants the details. 

“Alma, you need to calm down,” Gemma says, finally speaking up as she watched Alma cradle her stomach. “This isn’t good for the baby.”

Alma snorts. “That bitch arrested him in front of the kids.”

Alma doesn’t know why, but the tears just pour out of her eyes. She knows she couldn’t shelter her kids forever. She knew this day would come where her and Jax would need to explain their world. She just never wanted her kids to witness their father being taken away in handcuffs. 

Alma collapses in a chair as the tears don’t stop. Gemma moves up from the table to comfort her. They all think it is better for Alma to break down now than later. She can do it now and leave the house strong for her family. 

“We’ll figure this out,” Clay promises over the tears. 

.

.

.

Clay is annoyed and pissed. That ATF bitch is blocking all attempts of making contact with Jax. The only thing they know is that he is being charged for the hit they did for the Irish. He is more concerned how in the hell there was a witness. He looks at Tig and Bobby, his eyes hidden behind his sunglasses. 

“How’s Alma?” Bobby asks. 

Clay leans back into his chair and sighs. “Pissed once she was able to read over the charges fully and the penalties. I thought you guys said it was clear?” He asks with more bite than he intends. 

“It was, Clay,” Tig assures. “Easiest hit ever. Besides, Bobby and I were there. Wouldn’t they arrest us too?” 

Clay sighs. He doesn’t know what game that ATF gash is playing. 

“I don’t think it needs to be said, Jax ain’t gonna rat…so how in the hell are we gonna get him protection?” Bobby says speaking up. 

Clay runs a hand through his hair. The last thing he wants is to ask the Nords for more help. “What we need to do is find the rat.” Clay tells them. 

“Serious allegation, Clay,” Bobby cautions. 

“No shit, but how in the hell do you explain someone identifying Jax as the shooter?”

Both men turn silent. 

“Something ain’t right about this.” Clay mutters. 

.

.

“You need to calm down,” Gemma orders as she watches Alma pace in the kitchen of the unpacked home. Boxes are still closed and Gemma guesses Jax’s recent arrest has made her neglect certain things. 

Most importantly, Gemma is just worried about the health of her unborn grandchild. 

“I fucking can’t.” Alma tells her. “We just bought this house. I don’t work. How in the fuck am I going to support three kids on no salary?”

Gemma frowns. “You know that you don’t need to worry about that.”

“That is not the point.” Alma stresses. Alma wants to scream in frustration at being in this situation. She knows after this baby comes she is going to make some major changes in her life.

Gemma purses her lips together. She wants to snap and tell Alma that she needs to get her shit together. It is just a stark contrast to how Alma is usually calm and reserved. It makes Gemma wonder how much Alma buries or this is literally pregnancy emotions that can’t let her even allow to comprehend one emotion to latch onto. 

“How about we take things week by week, or better yet focus on that baby in your belly. Let the club worry about Jax.” Gemma advises. 

Alma takes a calming breath as she places a hand on her prominent belly. It’s a tense and uncomfortable silence that Gemma isn’t used to being on the receiving end of. Gemma almost jumps when fat tears escape Alma’s eyes. She watches as the tears splash against the woman’s cheeks and stain against her shirt. 

Gemma doesn’t exactly know what is stopping her from consoling her daughter in law. She is almost embarrassed when Nathan comes in and sees the state of his mother. 

Nathan rushes over to his mother. “Mom, what’s wrong?” He asks as his arms wrap around her as much as they can. “It’s going to be okay, Mom.” Nathan whispers. 

Alma opens her arms and embraces her oldest child. 

Alma’s eyes meet Gemma’s. The tears stop coming. 

.

.

The only good part about being locked up in Federal custody is that he isn’t in the general population. He is isolated and the food isn’t’ that shitty. He doesn’t need to try and make friends, which could mess up his standing and getting a deal. So he is not complaining or making a fuss too much and the last thing he wants is to give Alma added stress. 

And after two days of nothing, the agents were finally dragging him to the visitation room. He sits quietly before Stahl comes through the door with her manila envelope. 

She doesn’t bother with a greeting as she takes a sit opposite him. “You killed a state official, Jax. The U.S. Attorney will seek the death penalty.”

“I didn't kill anybody.” Jax tells her. “And if you have anything else to say, why don't you talk to my lawyer?”

Stahl smirks. “Well, if my witness statement is a lie... then maybe you should hear all of it, hmm?”

Jax smiles. “Yeah, I like a good story.”

Stahl leans back in her chair as she opens her folder. “Hefner got spooked by seeing Bobby. He turned back to you. You jammed your gun in his sternum and fired four shots. Hefner fell. You and Bobby fled the balcony... and met up downstairs with Alexander Trager.”

“Great fiction.” Jax replies. Although in his mind, the wheels are turning. He knows Bobby and Tig would never rat, so someone had to be tailing them to know that. 

“Eyewitness fiction.” Stahl counters. “If you confess now, the attorney might go lenient. Maybe get you a better deal to maybe see your unborn child get married at least. Do you know what you’re having?”

Jax clenches his jaw. “Are we done here?”

“Is there anything you would like me to tell your family? I know that she is due soon.”

Jax doesn’t bother with a reply. 

“I would think about your family Jax. You’re going to be doing years. I can’t imagine a child only knowing their father in prison clothes.”

.

.

Clay can feel the other parents glaring at him, but he doesn’t fucking care. With Jax being in jail, Gemma handling the garage and family business, and Alma running errands to deal with Jax's future sentence, Clay is on babysitting duty. 

He is not really complaining. He loves being around his grandchildren. He loves every minute being with them. Though now, the reason parents are glaring at him, outside of him smoking his Cuban cigars, were the visitors he was getting at the playground. 

Usually Clay does his best to separate his business from family life. He knows Alma will have his ass on a sling if he finds out he was handling business at a wooden picnic table. However, with Jax locked up, business needed to be handled and he needed to figure out how to make sure his son can come home on a reasonable time frame. 

Clay looks over his shoulder to find his grandchildren causing havoc on the slides. He smiles before he almost drops his cigar at the site of Rosen. Usually, Lowen, Rosen’s associate, would get her fancy pumps dirty to deliver messages. 

He knows it must be serious and for a minute he is scared shitless he is about to deliver the worst. 

“Clay,” Rosen greets as he reaches the table. 

“Is it Jax?” Clay asks. 

“Surprisingly, no,” Rosen says as he sits opposite of him. “I got a message from Opie.”

Clay’s eyebrows skyrocket. 

“I should say Lenny’s lawyer reached out to me with a message from Opie.” Rosen clarifies. 

Clay doesn’t even want to know how in the hell Opie managed to get a message to Lenny, who is in Stockton, from Chino. 

“And how much are you charging me to deliver this message?” Clay quips. 

Rosen doesn’t banter as he looks at Clay in the eyes. “Opie says the Feds have gone to see him. A few times and even with the added threat to tack on more to his sentence.”

“Why?”

“Apparently someone is talking to the Feds. Gave a detailed list to the Feds of a bunch of alleged crimes Opie and Jax partook in. I mean it’s a lot of shit that goes back to their prospect years.”

_ What the fuck. _

“Is it just Opie and Jax?” Clay asks. 

“He said there is some other shit that is more broad, but specifics are mostly him and Jax.” Rosen tells him. “Now before you say anything damning, I’m gonna go. We never had this conversation.”

Clay seethes as he watches Rosen walk away. Of all the things he expected to hear. There is a goddamn rat at the table. And he knows who the fuck it is. The goddamn fucking rat. 

“Fucking Kyle…” Tig mutters. 

“You put a goddamn tail on him.” Clay seethes quietly. “Call Happy down here. Download him. Figure what Kyle’s been up to.”

“On it boss.” Tig says as he pulls out his phone and walks away. 

Clay regrets that he didn’t see this coming. He failed as the President by not realizing the potential fallout of patching out Kyle. 

“Grandpa! Push me on the swings, please!” Kaylee yells out. 

Clay looks at his granddaughter. Her smile is a carbon copy of Jax’s. 

Kyle won’t be shown any type of mercy.

.

.

.

Alma finds it hard to sleep at night. It’s not that she isn’t tired. She is and the baby is sucking the life out of her. It is just that her mind won’t stop. Her thoughts won’t let her rest. It’s not like she can exactly go to a therapist to talk about the shit she lives through. 

But she knows she can’t go on for long like this. She does need to think about her children. She believes if she wasn’t pregnant her emotions wouldn’t be as severe. She would be able to pull back and let things simmer. She would be able to wade through the water before finding a crystal clear path. 

Besides, the last thing she needs is for Jax to be worrying about her. She needs to get it together. Nathan shouldn’t have seen her crying like that. She feels awful that he had to comfort her. She should have shed her tears alone in her bedroom where the cold is prominent on Jax’s side of the bed. 

“Mommy?”

Alma turns from where she is sitting at her vanity. She finds Kaylee standing behind the door in her purple pajamas. 

Alma smiles. “And what are you doing out of bed?”

Kaylee smiles sheepishly as she walks further into the room. Alma’s heart breaks a little to think that her baby is about to be five years old. It seems only yesterday she gave birth to her little girl. She was still changing her diapers. Now, she will be starting school. 

“I couldn’t sleep, Mommy,” Kaylee replies. Kaylee stands in front of her mother. Her attention focused solely on the cosmetics and beauty items laid out. 

“Couldn’t sleep? And why is that?” Alma questions. 

Kaylee gives her a mischievous smile. A smile that she knows that she inherited from Jax, Alma has seen that smile many times. 

“You’re very pretty, Mommy.” Kaylee says with a blush. “I want to be pretty like you.”

“You’ll be prettier than me when you’re older.” Alma says as Kaylee plays with the brushes on the counter. 

“Daddy says you are the most beautiful girl alive.” Kaylee tells her. 

“Did he?” Alma asks. She is at least grateful Jax’s absence hasn’t affected Kaylee’s love and fond reminiscents of Jax.

Kaylee smiles. “Can I brush your hair, Mommy?”

“Of course. Let’s move to the bed so you can reach me alright.”

Kaylee beams and hastily gets on the bed. Alma moves to the edge and her little girl is eager to start brushing. 

“Your hair is getting so long.” Kaylee says as she runs the brush through her long dark locks. 

“Do you think I should cut it?” 

“We both can get haircuts!” Kaylee decides. 

Alma laughs. “We’ll see after the baby is born.”

Kaylee brushes for a few more moments and then stops as she settles next to her mother. Her small hand is timid as she reaches out and places her palm against her protruding stomach. 

“I’m sad.” Kaylee announces. 

Alma frowns as she wraps her arms around her daughter. “Why are you sad, Baby?”

“Because you’re sad that Daddy isn’t here.”

“Kaylee,” Alma says shakenly. Alma isn’t even sure how to respond to that. 

“Do you think the baby will be sad?”

This Alma can answer. “No, the baby will be happy. They will have you and Nathan as a big brother and sister. They’ll be happy. And…Daddy will come home one day.”

“You promise?” Kaylee asks her with wide brown eyes. Alma’s heart almost breaks as she is reminded of a similar conversation she had with her own mother when her father went to prison. Her father never came home. 

"How bout you sleep with Mommy tonight. I’ll feel better when I wake up in the morning.”

.

.

It’s been a weird few days. Clay has been quiet on what’s going on with Jax. Alma doesn’t focus on it. Her main focus needs to be on her kids and she is just lucky her mom hasn’t gone on a soapbox about her situation. 

Besides, she promised the kids a camping trip in the backyard. She is sort of looking forward to it herself as she fills her cart up with marshmallows and chocolate. She wonders if she can borrow the Prospect to help. If anything it might be a vacation for him. 

She is leaving the aisle when her cart almost hits someone. 

“Sorry.” Alma says apologizing. 

“It’s alright, Mrs. Teller.”

Alma freezes at the sight of Stahl. “Agent Stahl, I would say it’s been nice to see you.”

Stahl presses her lips in a flat line. “Considering I am feeling generous, I would pick up tomorrow’s paper.”

“I think I would rather not.”

Stahl licks her lips. “I mean you had to see this coming? This life you lead and if your husband would talk he might get to see his youngest graduate from high school.”

“Screw you.”

“Any bit of cooperation can help your husband.”

Alma laughs bitterly. “If anything the very least you can let me talk to my husband.”

Alma walks away from Stahl and goes to check out, but the skinny agent follows her. “You know I get it.”

“Get what?”

“The struggle you must feel. Wanting to give your kids a good life and raise your kids with their father. But it’s a fine line though right. You’re about to be on the verge of repeating the cycle. After all, your father never came home from prison.”

Alma whips around to look at Stahl. She almost can’t believe the words that escaped the agent's mouth. 

Alma opens her mouth, but a pained gasp escapes her lips. 

“Mrs. Teller, you okay?”

Alma feels her lower body tighten. She looks down between her legs and finds blood spreading. 

.

.

Jax had been doing his daily workout routine when the guards had come to his cell. Usually they make some smart aleck remark and there would be some light hearted banter. Today, there was none of that. The men were quiet as they escorted him to the small visitation room. As he sat and waited for Stahl, he wondered what bullshit she was going to sprout on him. 

He thought she would be up his ass the whole time during his stay, but she surprisingly left him alone. 

He is waiting for a couple minutes before Stahl presents herself and he doesn’t miss that the camera is turned off. She doesn’t greet him. She walks stiffly to her seat. She has no papers. Nothing. She just sits and stares blankly at him. 

“You got something you wanna say?” He asks, breaking the silence.

Stahl looks at him blankly. Jax feels he isn’t going to like what is going to come out of her mouth. That is the usual feeling with her, but this time something is extremely off. Something is wrong.

She clears her throat. “I wanted to give you this news in person.”

Jax leans back in his chair. “Well, that doesn't sound good.”

Stahl chews on her bottom lip before she sits up straighter and looks him in the eyes. She folds her hands across the table top. “Your wife, Alma, she’s in the hospital.”

Jax’s spine stiffens. “What are you talkin' about?”

“She had a miscarriage. I can’t tell you what exactly went wrong, but it was a close call for her. She lost a lot of blood.”

Jax doesn’t say anything as he looks up at the ceiling. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “You make it sound like you were there.”

“I was the one to call the ambulance. She was at the store when it happened.” Stahl reveals to him. “There was a witness who fingered you. We also got some corroborating statements from Kyle Hobart about past crimes.”

“Why are you tellin' me this?”

“We'll be charging you with Hefner's murder. U.S. Attorney will seek the death penalty. I guess I'm feeling guilty about the pain your wife and children will go through.” 

Jax shakes his head. “I’m surprised you feel anything.”

Stahl stands up. “He was a boy, by the way. I’m sorry for your loss.”

Stahl leaves the visiting room. Jax doesn’t even wait to be taken back to his room as he breaks down in tears. 


	3. Small Tears

It's been almost two months. Two months since she has had any contact with her husband. Today he was finally coming home. Alma thinks it would be naïve of her to think things would be okay. Him being home would solve anything that has happened. It wouldn't change anything that has happened.

Alma is understandably nervous. She thinks this is the first time she has been this nervous to ever be around Jax. She is more nervous than when she had to tell him that she was pregnant.

She also doesn't know where his head is going to be, which worries her. They had to handle the grief of losing a child on their own. Jax wasn't even there to hold their son or to say his goodbyes. She is scared that Jax may resent her for the loss.

Days have gotten easier. It is still hard, but she had Nathan and Kaylee to help her get through all of it. She still wasn't over it, but they helped her through the grieving process. Jax was alone and with his thoughts. He had no one to share his grief with. Not even one letter was shared between the two of them.

"Sweetheart, you are going to get premature wrinkles." Gemma says as she walks up next to her. They are under the awning as they wait for the guys to pull up. "Stop worrying. He is coming home and everything will work itself out."

Alma is only able to give her a closed lipped smile. After all, she knows Gemma has been more privy to things regarding Jax's case. She thinks that is the only reason why Gemma has been so calm these past two months. Alma thinks she would be calm too knowing that despite the absence the Feds had kept him in protective custody. It's just Jax is coming home to a family that is grieving – to a wife that had lost their child.

"I'm just…I just want him to be okay." Alma tells her mother in law.

Gemma wraps her arms around her shoulders. "He will be. He is coming home to his family. I'm not saying it will be easy, but things will be okay. It'll take some time."

Alma nods her head. She knows this. She knows there will be an adjustment period.

Soon they hear the growls of bikes approaching. Nathan and Kaylee replace Gemma's presence. Kaylee's fists scrunch the edge of her dress. Kaylee's hair is done in elaborate space buns with a bright pink floral dress and glittery pink sandals. Alma forms a smile at the thought of Jax's reaction to the explosion of pink. "You nervous, baby?" Alma asks.

Kaylee looks up at her mother. A shy smile is on her lips. This is the first time Kaylee has ever witnessed a prolonged absence of Jax that didn't last longer than two weeks. Even then Jax made sure to call.

"Daddy is going to be really happy to see you. He missed you a lot."

"He missed me lots?"

Alma smiles. "Lots."

"Mom, I see them!" Nathan shouts from where he is standing in the middle of the lot before rushing back to her side.

The family watches as the growls of the bike become louder. Clay is in front of the line and Jax is right there behind him. He doesn't follow the rest of the procession to their designated spots. He stops in front of the awning.

He barely has time to take off his helmet before the kids are all over him.

"Daddy, I missed you so much!" Nathan and Kaylee both exclaimed. Jax hugs them both tightly. He doesn't let go for what seems like a minute. The kids don't seem eager to let him go either.

Jax pulls back and smiles. "You two need to stop growing up." He tells them both. "Let me say hi to your mom okay."

The kids nod as he stands up to his full height.

Alma takes a deep breath.

Her husband is here and in front of her. She thinks her legs might buckle. He is there smiling at her and he is alive. The only remarkable difference is his hair that brushes atop of his shoulders.

She notices his eyes linger on her stomach and she can see the tension in his neck before he meets her eyes.

They both step towards each other at the same time. She hugs him first, her arms circling around his neck tightly. His arms wrap around her waist and she can feel him lift her up off the ground a few inches. She can feel the tears building.

She feels him exhale and it seems some tension leaves his body before she feels his hands tangle in her hair. He pulls her head back and she finds a burning kiss pressed to her lips. It's all tongue and even the clashing of teeth as they become consumed by each other.

"Jax –" Alma whispers brokenly.

He presses a softer kiss to her lips that silences any words that were going to come out of her mouth. He drops her back down lightly to her feet and another kiss is pressed to her forehead.

He steps away from her and greets his mother.

.

.

There is something off with her husband.

The smile on his face seems genuine, but it doesn't reach his eyes. Ever interaction between them from his hands tracing her curves and the kisses pressed to her head felt empty.

Alma isn't sure what to do. She is hoping it is just him needing to adjust. It has only been a few hours since his release and he is being tossed around like a newborn baby. It's probably a shock to his system to have to put on a front. After all, these men know what is like being stuck in prison and despite the mental trauma; they still think they can bury it inside a woman's pussy. She knows that all the men expect her to give Jax a very welcome home.

She would be more than happy if she could feel she recognized her husband a bit. She could be overthinking as well. They are in public and if anything it isn't a crime to ignore pressing matters for a bit. She just needs to revel in the fact her husband is home and her kids are happy.

With a new beer for her husband, the bottle is rapidly sweating in her hand as she reaches him. He is sitting back in the old worn out plaid couch with Chibs and Bobby hovering. The other hang arounds make a path for her, but Jax stands up before she is even halfway.

He takes a beer from her hands and leads her over to where his father's bike is. Her stomach forms butterflies if Jax really thinks he is going to take her back to a dorm to fuck her. It is not like she is above a clubhouse hookup, but she isn't sure she is up for one now. But he stops in front of the bike. He places his beer on the top of the memorial.

He isn't looking at her. He is looking past her. "You should take the kids home before Tig scars them."

Alma's brows furrow. That was the last thing she expected. "I mean…are you sure. Are…you going to follow?"

Jax's hands find home on his hips. "I'm gonna stay a bit."

Alma feels her heart against her rib cage. The twisting in her gut makes her want to vomit. A thousand thoughts are running through her mind and none of them are flattering to her husband or what he may be implying. She feels guilty for the thoughts of accusations sprouting in her mind. She wonders if Jax is deliberating ignoring how his words are coming across or maybe he simply doesn't care.

She licks her lips and tastes the salt from the tequila shots Luann had somehow convinced her to take. "Jax…"

"It's going to be a late night, Al. Don't wait up alright."

Alma is flabbergasted as Jax doesn't even let her reply as he walks away. He doesn't allow any type of resistance as by the time her feet are able to follow his path, he is already putting the kids in her car.

.

.

.

Two months he had to wait for this day. Two fucking months. He is surprised the club didn't handle it as soon as they discovered the truth. Yes, there was a witness to the murder of Hefner. Jax didn't inquire how they handled the young 17 year old apparent mistress. It wasn't his concern. However, the RICO case only had its roots because Kyle Hobart had ratted.

He got caught in some stolen vehicle parts scheme and once the police saw his priors and connections to the club, the Feds swooped down. Kyle only cared about saving his own ass.

Jax throws back a shot. He just pressed a swift kiss to Alma's cheek and to his own mothers as they left the clubhouse party. He is ready to handle this piece of business.

"You ready to handle this?" Clay asks him.

Jax nods his head. "Been ready for two months."

"He's at the cabin. Happy is already out there with the Prospect. I'll have Tig follow ya up."

Jax shakes his head. "Nah, you don't need to drag Tig away from the pussy buffet. I'll keep the Prospect and send Happy back down."

Clay eyes him behind his sunglasses, but doesn't voice an opposition. "I'm glad you're home son. The sooner you do this, the sooner you get home to Alma and the kids."

Jax nods his head and embraces Clay in a hug before he leaves.

.

.

.

Jax makes it to the cabin close to 11. He finds Half Sack keeping watch out front.

"Welcome home, Jax," Half Sack greets as he makes his way to the steps.

Jax nods his head as he enters the cabin. Happy is cleaning his gun and Kyle is tied up in a chair. He watches as the man's blue eyes widen at the sight of him.

Now, the club wasn't stupid. They didn't keep Kyle for the whole two months. Happy did keep surveillance on Kyle up until two days ago when Stahl had exhausted her resources in keeping him safe. Happy had swooped in and brought Kyle here.

Jax's nostrils flare at the man tied up. He just wants to put a bullet in the man's head. He just knows that it would be too easy. He wouldn't get the right satisfaction. Besides, in the end, he only has requested one thing to do tonight. He will let Happy have his fun. After all, he has a wife to get home too.

Jax takes off Kyle's gag.

"Hey, Jax…" Kyle says hesitantly.

Jax ignores him as he grabs two items from the table. "Knife or fire?"

"Jax. Please, I'm sorry."

"Answer me."

"Fire." Kyle mutters weakly.

Jax nods at Happy. Happy gets up from his chair as he grips Kyle's hands and links him to the hook happy probably installed just for this. Jax turns on the blowtorch as Kyle hangs from the hook like a piece of meat.

Jax doesn't know if it is just mean or mercy when Happy splashes the man's back with gasoline.

Kyle passes out in the first minute. Happy slaps him awake repeatedly through the whole process. Jax takes a break after 45 minutes. Half Sack is in the background lighting candles and opening windows. Kyle convulses on the hook from pain while Happy sharpens his knife.

"I feel killing him is too easy, Hap." Jax says breaking the silence.

This man broke their golden rule. It was bad enough he got Opie in prison, but then he tried to add more years to that sentence and have Jax rotting in jail too. And not only just him, Kyle could've taken down the whole club. Kyle made him miss the birth and death of his second son. And Jax blames Kyle for Alma having the miscarriage in the first place.

"Don't worry, VP. It won't be quick enough." Happy promises.

Jax nods his head. He walks over Kyle and quick his prone form. His face pinches in disgust at the slobber escaping from the man's mouth. He slaps him awake.

Kyle groans and whimpers in pain.

"Prepare to meet the Reaper."

That brings Kyle into full consciousness as he begins to struggle in his binds. Jax brings out his gun and for some catharsis, he shoots the man in the jaw. I think Happy won't have to hear him scream, but Happy probably gets off on it.

Jax sighs and makes his way to the door. "I'll have Alma make you some _Masitas_ and _Bunuelos,"_ he promises Happy on his way out the door.

.

.

It took a while to get the kids settled down from their disappointment of Jax not putting them to bed, but somehow Alma was able to do it. She had been able to dodge questions of where their father was at. She soothed their worries about what him not being there could mean and she did the one thing she swore she would never do and promised that their dad would be there in the morning. She wasn't even sure he would be. Her mind didn't want to venture too far into where Jax was sleeping tonight.

She had treated herself to a nice relaxing bath and she had let the disappointment settle in her bones when it was nearly midnight and Jax still wasn't home. She decided for just this night she would live in denial and pretend things were fine. Things were normal.

She knows she hasn't been asleep for long when she feels warm insistent hands tugging at the lacy fabric underneath her nightgown. At first she tries to slap the hands away before her groggy mind catches up to what is happening.

"Jax?" She whispers as she blinks the sleep out of her eyes.

"Hey, darlin'" he responds as she finds his lips molding against her.

She is taken back and her mind can't really enjoy the comfort of it as he pushes her back into the mattress. She wants to get lost in this feeling – in him. Her body wants to. She is already sensitive enough as he grinds against her and the friction of his hands over her silk dress has her breasts aching for more.

She can feel how much he wants it and as her legs move to accommodate him better, she finds no barriers between them on his end.

She whines as she feels him tearing her underwear. He knows she hates it when he does that. She can feel him smirking against her lips as he ruts against her. Her hands reach up to his hair to pull on it in retaliation when she is taken back at their dampness. She pulls back from his kiss, which only makes him move to her jaw and neck. She cranes her head to look at the clock, which reads 4 AM.

She is not worried about the shower per say. She is worried about why he is home so late.

Jax goes to meet her lips again and she can feel his fingers between her legs. She closes them the best she can and pushes him back, "Stop."

Jax pulls back immediately. "What's wrong?"

Alma huffs and she sort of regrets stopping now, but the words are out. "Where have you been?"

Jax is silent and he leans back away from her. "Does it matter? I'm here now."

Alma swallows the lump in her throat. This isn't her husband. "The…the kids were upset you weren't here, Jax."

"Well I had some things to take care of." He retorts as he moves off the bed.

"Like what?" Alma presses.

Jax doesn't say anything as he gets off the bed and ruffles through some drawers before finding some basketball shirts. "You know…all I wanted was to come home and fuck my wife."

Alma sucks in a breath. Her cheeks and eyes burn from his words. "Fuck you, Jax. All I am asking is a simple question. Fuck a croweater for all I care."

"I was handling Kyle." Jax tells her darkly. "For ratting and for Ben."

_Benjamin Luis Teller_

That was the name she decided for their son. The name of her grandfather on her father's side.

Alma looks at her husband and doesn't know what to say.

"I could've killed Stahl that day when she told me what happened." Jax reveals to her. "I wasn't there for you. I wasn't there for our son."

"Jax – "

He shakes his head. "I'm tired."

He climbs into bed and he keeps his back to her.

.

.

.

Alma isn't sure if she really fell asleep. One minute it was dark and the next her eyes were blinking to the morning sun. She leans up on the bed and turns to look behind where Jax is still sleeping. His back isn't towards her anymore. He has moved to his back. The duvet is pooled down to his hips and his left arm is thrown across his chest.

Alma isn't sure how she should take what happened between them last night. They had their tiffs before, silly fights that never really mounted to nothing and would end up with them laughing at the stupidity of it all. Last night was different. It was colder than before.

Alma moves from the bed as she grabs her robe to cover her nightgown. She doesn't want to linger in her bedroom for too long considering it feels like a stranger is in her bed.

She leaves the bedroom and makes her way to the kitchen to begin prepping for breakfast. She jumps startled at the sight of her son up drinking a glass of orange juice. A sheepish look on his face and a pain shoots through her heart as Nathan looks like his father in that moment. If she had a photo album she can find the exact photo of a young Jax wearing the same look.

She folds her arms across her chest. "What are you doing up this early?"

"Couldn't sleep," Nathan replies as he shrugs his shoulders.

Alma raises a skeptical brow, but she doesn't press her son. She walks further into the kitchen as she wraps her arms around his shoulder. She presses a kiss to the blonde hair he is trying to grow out to match his father's.

She holds her son close. He is her first baby and he is growing up so fast. She feels if she clings to him, she might be able to find that piece of Jax she is missing.

Since the loss of Ben or even the moment of Jax being arrested at their front door, Alma is scared for the future.

"You want to help with breakfast?"

Nathan nods his head.

Alma smiles and presses another kiss to his head.

.

.

He heard the footsteps before they even reached the door. He feigned sleep as the door creaks open before tiny footsteps made their way to the bed. He fought to keep a blank look on his face as he felt the mattress dip. The struggle on the bed was heard from grunts before a silence took over the bedroom.

Jax waits as he can feel the shadow looming over him.

He waits a few seconds before he strikes.

He opens his eyes, "Got you!"

His little girl screams in fright before erupting in giggles as he grabs her and begins tickling her.

Kaylee's cheeks turn red like cherries as her laughter fills the room.

"Daddy! Stop!" She gulps. "I am going to pee!" She warns.

Jax halts and looks at her with raised eyebrows. "We'll we can't have that now can we?"

Jax brings her into his lap and he holds her close.

He was denied holding his baby girl for two months. He doesn't want to let her go. Kaylee wraps her arms around his broad shoulders. He finds a wet kiss applied to his cheek. "I missed you, Daddy."

"I missed you too, Baby Girl." He pressed a kiss to her soft curly brown hair. "What you doing up this early anyways?"?"

"Mama made breakfast. We gotta go!" She exclaimed. "Nathan is going to eat all the French Toast!" Kaylee wiggled out of his hold and down from the bed as she ran to the kitchen.

Jax smiles before he collapses back on the bed. He knows he has some major groveling to do to Alma. Last night his behavior was uncalled for. He knows these couple of months hasn't been easy on her. It hasn't been easy on their marriage. Jax sits up and swings his legs over the edge of the bed. He stretches and groans from his bones cracking. He makes a detour to the bathroom before beginning his trek down the hallway.

Jax has to get familiar with the new house since he was arrested on moving day. For now, he looks at the massive display of family photos. However, his eyes pause over the smallest photo on the wall, which is of Ben's last sonogram when he had a beating heart.

.

.

Alma knows the kids were only somewhat behaved for breakfast because Jax was at the table. She didn't mind it. She was happy that they were a family again. She had been prepared for an awkward silence, but Kaylee could not stop talking. She even went on to inform Jax of her various bowel movements the past couple weeks.

Alma knows the kids are even more excited by the fact Jax will be home all day. Her babies are happy so that is all that matters to Alma at the moment.

She is drying all of their dishes for breakfast when she hears footsteps. Too heavy to be one of the kids, she turns to find Jax leaning against a counter.

"I noticed an extra bedroom has more nail stuff."

Alma furrows her brows. She dries her hands. She always had nail supplies on hand. She never thought Jax paid attention to the things she would buy pertaining to nails. However, a month ago, she had invested in new supplies. More salon approved materials to appear more professional. It did cost a pretty penny, but she has been getting more business.

"I've been doing more nails. Needed more things." She tells him.

Jax doesn't say anything for a couple seconds and the silence unnerves her more than his eyes burning into. "We having money problems?"

That question takes her back. Even with Jax away, he still gets his cut from the club. Usually they would hold it until his release and the only funds given would be for bills and change for other things. It seems from the start the club didn't trust old ladies to be wise with money.

However, Jax always let Alma in on how to wash, save, and spend money. Sure, Jax loved to splurge and spoil occasionally, but he was conscious. He was safe as if something happened the Feds could claim any assets of theirs being from dirty money.

Since Jax got locked up, Bobby had given her full access to Jax's cut per Jax's request. She knows she and Jax were not going to be hurting for money unless something drastic happened. Even then, Jax had made sure their kids would never have to struggle.

"No…no. Why would you think that?"

"It's practically a salon in there," Jax replies. "It's always been a hobby for you. That looks like a business."

Alma is confused. "Is there something wrong with that?"

"You don't need to work."

"I know that, but – "

"No, buts. You don't need to work. You don't need to be bringing in your nosey _clients_ inside our house near our kids. You should be raising our kids, not focusing on a hobby."

Alma opens, but closes her mouth as she isn't sure how to respond to that. She thinks any response is caught in the hurt from Jax's words. Not once or ever has Jax spoken that way about her doing nails. He had always been supportive that this was something she needed for herself.

She doesn't understand where this is coming from, or why he is being so cruel.

She decides it's better not to even respond to him. She turns her back as she continues to dry the dishes.

She uses the towel to wipe her damp cheeks.

.

.

Gemma knows something is up. She knew the minute Jax and Alma walked through the doors. It's only been a week since Jax came home and she can see the small tears working their way between the couple – the family.

She knows Jax coming home wasn't going to be easy. Not after the loss of Ben, she knows her son is probably blaming himself and most likely that pain is probably being lashed out on Alma.

Gemma knows that is a result of Clay's parenting. She wishes Jax would've picked up the urge to write things in a journal like John. Gemma knows her family can work through this. She knows from experience.

Her main concern is Alma. She knows Alma is putting all her happiness onto the fact the kids are happy with their father being home.

If anything she knows Alma is taking the cold glares and tones from Jax until he can adjust back to being with her. Well, she thinks that. Sometimes, she isn't too sure of Alma's thought processes. She was only a kid when Jax knocked her up and she was a bride by 18.

Lord, if anything it reminds Gemma of the beginnings of her and John's relationship. She knows when she was about to be 25 she had hit a funk that Alma was probably toeing into. She wanted to be more than a mother and wife.

Then again to be 25 and to lose a child…Gemma's heart aches at the thought of Thomas and her grandson, Ben. Alma has been through so much in this life and she is scared that the way her son is acting will unravel everything.

Knowing her son, she knows that he will come to regret this behavior, but a woman can only take so much.

Gemma presses her lips into a flat line as she approaches her daughter in law.

Alma seems to be growing her hair out from the short bob she had seemed to keep since the birth of Kaylee. Her light brown hair was now reaching past her shoulders. She had a braided crown for the shorter pieces of hair that framed her face and she was wearing an off white floral sundress. Of course, Kaylee was wearing a matching hairstyle with white floral shorts to match the style of her mother.

Alma has been quiet throughout the day. She of course has been doting on her kids, participating in the conversations floating around her, and even tending to Jax with trips bringing him new beers and whatever he seemed to request.

It was just there was no affection between the two. She is used to Jax never being able to keep his eyes, lips, and hands off any body part of Alma's. Her giving him a beer would be rewarded with a kiss to a hand or a hand squeezing a hip. Jax was giving Alma none of that and Alma wasn't showing any affection for her husband. She barely managed to give a closed lipped smile.

Gemma doesn't like seeing her family like this.

"Alma, come with me for a sec?" She whispers.

Alma doesn't resist. Doesn't say anything as she follows her in the garden house and Gemma is worried. She closes the door to give them some privacy.

"What's going on between you and Jax?" Gemma asks.

Alma shrugs her shoulders. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Gemma echoes.

Alma says nothing as she looks past Gemma and at one of her plants.

"Alma…you know if you need someone to talk to…"

"About what?"

Gemma purses her lips. "How about I take the kids tonight?"

Alma folds her arms across her chest. "If you want too. The kids always love spending time with their grandmother."

"Alma…"

"Mommy!"

Alma jumps slightly at the sound of Kaylee's voice. She opens the door and leaves Gemma feeling scared for her family.

.

Dinner is more subdued. Jax is interacting with his brothers and tending to his kids. Alma is solely focused on Kaylee not getting her spaghetti all over her clothes. Not once has Gemma seen Alma and Jax exchange words outside of asking each other to pass something along.

Watching the bodily language, Alma is definitely more submissive than she ever recalls the young woman being. It isn't until Gemma is in her greenhouse smoking a cigarette that she is able to speak to her son. He comes in with his own cigarette already lit.

"Thanks for dinner, Ma."

"Anything for my family." Gemma replies as she sucks on her cigarette. "Happy to have you home."

"It's good to be home." Jax replies with a smile.

"Speaking of which, I was thinking of keeping the kids tonight. Give you and Alma some alone time."

Jax tenses. "Alma and I are fine, Ma."

"I never said you weren't."

Jax doesn't reply. Gemma doesn't add anything else as she finishes her cigarette. She suspects what is eating her son up.

"Have you gone to see him yet?"

Jax doesn't respond.

"You're his father. You need to see him."

"It's not going to change anything." Jax mumbles. "It's not going to fix anything."

"Avoiding it is going to make it worse, Jax. Let yourself feel that pain. Share that pain with Alma." Gemma advises her son. She knows this from experience.

"I wouldn't be in this petition if it wasn't for her." Jax snaps at the mention of Alma.

She feels the sting of her palm before she realizes what she has done. Her son clenches his jaw as the imprint of her hand on his cheek begins more prominent. She doesn't know if she wants to shake him or slap him some more. But there has never been a time where she was disappointed and ashamed of her son.

"Your father would be ashamed of you."

.

.

.

"You're not coming to the party?"

Alma jumps slightly at the sound of her husband's voice. She almost drops her grip on the basket of snacks she planned to take outside. The kids had wanted to do a camping trip in their backyard. They had been planning it for the last two weeks. In fact, this morning Kaylee had told Jax of their plans for this particular Friday evening.

It was clear Jax was not listening to Kaylee this morning. In fact, she thinks Jax was not listening much to anything pertaining to the family since the family dinner. She didn't push or prod Jax. She wouldn't be able to anyways as Jax had been keeping his distance it seemed. It was very cold in their bedroom. She wasn't sure how to break the ice.

A part of her wasn't wanting to break the ice.

She shakes her head. "The kids are having their camping trip. We've been planning it for two weeks."

"You haven't been to a party since I've been out."

"Who's going to watch the kids, Jax?" She asks him simply.

"My mother." He answers.

And for the first time in forever, Alma feels self-conscious in front of Jax in her loose sweats, white t-shirt, and oversized cardigan. Her hair is in a single plait and with no makeup on; she can feel Jax scrutinizing her appearance.

"Do you want me to go?"

"It's fine," he answers gruffly.

Alma smiles stiffly as she begins to make her way back to the kids. They need to work on building their fire with the wood Half Sack had graciously chopped for them.

"We cool?"

The sound of Jax's voice stops her as she turns to look at him.

Her grip of her basket of snacks tightens. "You tell me?"

He doesn't answer.

.

.

Jax is honestly bored. He really wasn't in the mood for a clubhouse party. He wasn't particularly keen on watching Bobby going down on two croweaters on a pool table. He also wasn't keen on going home either. He knows that is his own fault if anything. He is the one that is having a hard time with his head and heart seeing straight. He just feels so damn guilty. It is his fault that he had Alma experiencing so much stress in the first place. He doesn't really blame her for the loss of their son. He knows painful shit like this happens. He knows she is the easiest target to take his anger out on. Kyle is dead and it wouldn't be smart killing Stahl.

He just doesn't know how to handle this pain. He doesn't understand how his mom and dad got over losing Thomas. Worse, he never got to hold or meet his son. Thinking about his family - his wife - it is just too painful.

Too painful in fact that he doesn't register the strong scent of a floral perfume burning his nostrils, lips ghosting over his skin, and a hand rubbing over his denim. He isn't paying attention to any of that as his attention is soon taken by a BMW rolling onto their lot followed by a few black Chevy trucks. A man in a suit exits the BMW, but his lackies wearing button ups and clean shaven heads are a stark contrast. Jax can tell they are skinheads.

Jax detangles himself from the croweater as he stands next to Clay. The rest of the guys flanking them.

Clay lights a cigar. "What the hell is this? Garage is closed."

The man in the suit only smirks. "We're not here for, uh, car repairs. I understand you're a Camacho fan." The salt and pepper man says as he hands over a box of cigars to Clay.

Clay isn't impressed. "Who are you?"

The man next to him with a red tattoo on his neck speaks. "Just dropping by to give you a little friendly advice."

Jax rolls his eyes. "And what advice would that be?"

The suit looks between Jax and Clay. "We feel it would be best for all concerned if you stop dealing arms to the One Niners and the Mayans."

The club snorts and begins to laugh. A wide smile adorns Clay's face. "I don't even know what you're talking about. We're just mechanics and Harley lovers."

Tig standing on the other side of Clay adds. "That's one of Darby's guys back there."

"Mr. Darby is one of our supporters." The man confirms.

Clay's eyes narrow. "Mm. Expensive car. Hell of a suit. All your teeth. Must be the top of the Aryan food chain, huh?"

"What you do for a living is between you and your maker. I'm not here to adjust your moral compass. This is just a reality check. You're a criminal and you're done selling guns to color." Tig cocks his gun and the suit stops speaking and looks at him boredly. "Are you gonna shoot me, Mr. Trager? With all these witnesses?"

Clay answers. "Look, uh, I don't know what Darby told you and, uh, I don't know what your angle is, but let me be real clear. Nobody threatens SAMCRO. And nobody tells us what we can and can't do. Black, brown or white. So, why don't you just climb back into your little German clown car and drive back to Nazi town? 'Cause the next time you piss all over my shoes, he will kill you. I don't give a shit how many witnesses there are."

The man holds out a business card. Clay doesn't move to take it so Jax does and he reads the name Ethan Zobelle. He owns a cigar shop.

"My shop opens in a few weeks. Until then... enjoy." The club watches as the men go back in their cars and drive away.

.

.

It was expected for Kaylee to be the first one to be consumed with sleep. Alma has always been grateful that her little girl could find sleep easily. She knows it used to scare Jax how quick their daughter found sleep and would stay asleep. Nathan is still up, however. She knows reading him a story won't put him down quickly and after having another midnight snack, Alma suspects her boy is staying up to simply keep her company.

It makes her sad and worried that her son can be so perspective. Then again not a lot of families go through prison sentences and the death of family members. Her son has to grow up fast in this life. It makes her feel like a failure of a mother that she can't protect his innocence.

"Mom, are you and dad happy?" Her son is laying down with his head in her lap. He is bundled up in his sleeping bag. She runs her fingers through his hair like she does with Jax some nights. Right now, she is grateful that the darkness of the night can hide her face. She is not exactly sure how to answer that.

Right now, she isn't happy per say, but overall she is happy to a point. She is clinging to the fact whatever is happening between her and Jax is just a rough point. All relationships go through them, but her child shouldn't be asking this. She doesn't even want her children to even have to question this.

"You and Kaylee make us very happy." She replies as she softly flicks his nose.

Nathan smiles before his face turns serious. "I know that, but are you and dad happy together?"

Alma is quiet, but she pulls Nathan closer and cradles him as if he was a baby again. He lets her and she inhales the scent of wood and smoke that is clinging to him. "I love your father. I will always love your father. Right now, i don't think we're happy, but i am happy with him."

"Are you sad because of Ben?"

"I think Daddy is sad that he couldn't be here with us. He wanted to be here, but he couldn't." She presses a kiss to Nathan's forehead. "No matter what we love you and your sister very much."

"I just want you and dad to be happy again." Nathan mumbles.

"We will be." She promises.

.

.

Alma can't sleep. She tries to bury herself in the blankets and covers she has brought outside in the tent she shares with her kids. Sleep evades her. Not wanting to wake the kids, she leaves the tent and decides to do some housekeeping. She begins by throwing away wrappers and grabbing plates and silverware to wash.

She notices Jax never made it back home. She ignores how the clock reads 3AM. She decides to prep for breakfast to at least make that easier for her. After cutting up some fruit, she thinks a shower will do her some good to maybe help her relax.

She is too lost in her thoughts to hear the sound of the motorcycle or the front door opening. She has just stripped down to her bra and underwear when hands latch onto her hips. A squeal escapes her lips while a giggle and a hand covers her mouth.

"Shh… it's just me."

Alma moves the hand off her mouth and she turns to pull away from Jax, but his grip is tight. "What is wrong with you?"

His pupils are dilated and he reeks of alcohol. "Shh…" He tells her as he trips to connect their lips, but she pushes him back. She startles them both and Jax ends up falling backwards onto the armchair in their room. He pulls Alma to settle into his lap.

"Jax…" Alma whines.

"Come on, babe, I miss you." He whispers as he presses heated kisses to her neck, jaw, and collarbone.

"You're drunk." She points out. She is considered how he even managed to get on his bike and make his way home.

"So even when i'm sober I still want to fuck you."

She isn't able to respond as his hand forms a fist with her hair and he pulls her head towards him. Their lips meet in a searing kiss. She can taste the weed, beer, whiskey, and nicotine against his lips. She almost allows herself to get lost in the kiss, but a strong piercing fruity scent irritates her nose. It's not his cologne and it most certainly isn't' hers.

She pulls away from the kiss and her eyes burn and she can feel a tightness in her chest and throat. Jax is oblivious as he paws at her panties. She is barely participating as he places kiss after kiss across her skin. She doesn't stop him from pulling the cups of her bra down as he pays attention to her breasts.

Her mind is hazy as she clutches onto him. His face pressed into her chest. She won't allow him to kiss her again. She grips his hair tightly as he doesn't bother removing her underwear and pushes it to the side. She's not fully prepared for him as he slides into her.

He groans from the connection and Alma remains quiet. She tentally moves her hips and she feels Jax twitch inside her. She's breathing heavy as she sits up. She pushes Jax back firmly against the chair. She begins slow languid movements back and forth. Jax's hands are on her hips and he helps guide the movements until her muscles clenching around him make them become lax.

Her eyes don't leave her husband's frame despite how much she can't bare the thought of him fucking another woman hours before her. She grinds against him. Her thighs are trembling from the effort and her stomach trembling as she can feel Jax deep in her belly.

"Fuck, Al…" Jax moans as she clenches around him when a move stimulates her clit. Jax sits up startling her and he latches on to one of her nipples and sucks hard. She cries out from the move. Jax takes control and he begins thrusting up deep and fast.

Alma wraps her arms across his shoulders for some leverage against his deep thrusts. She grips his hair tightly as she moves against him. She can feel the mess she is making between them. The sounds between them filling their room.

It hits her abruptly and she freezes and trembles above him. Jax gives a few more sloppy thrusts before he releases inside her.

Alma is breathing heavily against him and for the first time she feels disgusted with herself. She knows that she shouldn't have done this. Worse, she knows that she should have confronted him about him coming home late and smelling another woman on him.

Instead, she pulls away from her husband and ignores him dripping down her thighs and gets into the shower.

He follows her a couple minutes later. There is no conversation as they wash themselves. She finishes showering first and leaves Jax alone.

It isn't until she puts on some sweats and an oversize shirt to go back out to the tent with the kids that she thinks she hates Jax at the moment.

.

Alma isn't sure when she fell asleep. Her body is stiff when she feels someone shaking her. She groans when her body is shaken again.

"Alma, you need to wake up."

Alma opens her eyes at the sound of Jax's voice. It's strained and he looks scared. "What's going on?"

Jax runs his hands through his hair. "It's my mom. She was in a car accident."

.

Alma knows something is off. They had spent three hours at the hospital waiting on news regarding Gemma's accident. Unser had been the one to take Gemma there. The kids were anxious about the news about their grandmother.

When they were finally able to see Gemma, the kids had immediately comforted their grandmother. Kaylee had broken down though at the sight of the bruises and cuts on their grandmother. Gemma despite the pain she was feeling was able to comfort her granddaughter. Alma wasn't surprised when Gemma asked to spend the day with them.

Alma keeps her distance. She cleans the house while the kids are distracted. It isn't until she starts working on dinner that Gemma is able to extract herself from the kids.

"What do you plan on making?" Gemma asks her.

"Pasta, garlic bread, and a salad unless you want something different." Alma tells her.

"This is fine." Gemma tells her. The matriarch begins digging out the material to make the salad.

"Gem, you can sit in the kitchen and relax. You don't need to do anything." Alma says after watching Gemma wince.

"I need to do this. Need something to keep me occupied." Gemma answers as she brings things to the breakfast bar. "You weren't at the clubhouse last night."

"The kids wanted a camping trip. Besides, there will be more clubhouse parties."

Gemma hums as she begins cutting up the block of cheese. Alma licks her lips as she tries to figure out where Gemma's headspace is at. "You want to tell me what happened?"

"Too much drink and bud. Just had a mortal jolt." Gemma explains.

Alma doesn't believe her for a second. She knows that if Gemma didn't feel capable of driving she would have stayed at the clubhouse. Gemma isn't telling her something. "Gem…"

"I'm fine, sweetheart," Gemma brushes off. "Things okay between you and Jax?"

"If you even have to ask you have your answer." Alma replies.

"I'm not going to make excuses for my son, but i don't want either of you to get hurt. I don't want my grandbabies to get hurt. You and Jax...it would break my heart for you two hate each other and not find your way back to each other."

"We'll always be a family, Gemma, no matter what is going on between Jax and I."

"He's gonna need you. He'll always need you. Don't forget that."

.

.

It was a long day and Jax exhales a deep breath as he walks into his house. He couldn't wait to be home after dealing with Luann's porn problem, which now gave him the idea of being partners with her, and the fact the Mayans had jumped them at a Niner's deal and managed to shoot Bobby. However, none of that compared to the fact his mother was in a fucking car accident. Jax would usually find his way upstairs to check on the kids, but his feet take him to the kitchen. He finds a plate already set out for him. His stomach growls at the sight of the fettuccine alfredo, salad, and breadsticks. His eyes scan for Alma, but he doesn't feel her presence anywhere. He stuffs his mouth with breadsticks and walks into the living room. No one is in there and only one lamp is on. He scans the place until he looks outside to find the sight of glowing amber.

He walks over and opens the door that leads to their patio. He finds his mom wrapped up in a blanket smoking a cigarette.

"What are you doing out here?" He asks his mother. Him and his mom haven't exactly spoken since she slapped him in her kitchen. He knows if his mom knew what happened at the clubhouse party he might receive another slap.

"Couldn't sleep." She tells him as she flicks her cigarette. "You're home late."

"Niners crashed our meet with the Mayan." He tells her.

"Shit. Anyone hurt?"

"Bobby got clipped in the shoulder. Nothing we couldn't handle." He informs her as he joins her on the bench.

"Should _we_ be worried?"

Jax shrugs his shoulders. Honestly, he doesn't know. He just can't stand being in the middle of a beef the club has no interest in. After all, selling guns is just business. Who the Mayans and Niners decide to shoot is none of his concern. He doesn't even know what the hell they even did besides breathing to piss off the Mayans.

"We'll be fine. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just had a mortal jolt. I'll be alright." Gemma assures him. She pats his legs. "Go finish your dinner. Alma should be Italian with how much she makes pasta."

Jax frowns at the mention of his wife. He has been treating her like shit and he doesn't know how to mend the gap between them. "Ma…"

Gemma looks at him with her knowing brown eyes. "It takes time, baby. You'll both get there."

Jax nods his head. "Clay know you're here?"

"Yeah, I sent him a text a while ago."

Jax nods his head and stands up. He plants a kiss on the side of her head. "I love you, Ma."

"I love you, too."

.

.

Alma loves Luann. She truly does, but she can only handle her in small doses. Luann just always seems to be hopped up on uppers. Alma makes sure to have her lavender aroma lamp setting on high with the former porn star coming in for her biweekly nail appointment.

Alma listens as Luann struggles with the 15 year separation between her and Otto. Alma thinks she is the only person Luann really opens up to about that particular issue. Alma's own heart clenches as she knows one day it could be her in both Luann's and Donna's spot.

Worse, she is not sure how Luann can handle the 15 year absence of intimacy. She has suspicions that Luann is discreet about her flings, but she can't imagine having to live with the fact she has to find a replacement for her husband. The thought that burns the most is the fact becoming old ladies that have to accept the prison sentences. They have to be prepared to be a prison widow.

As she applies the gel coating over Luann's nails, the former porn star complains about some of the diva attitudes they have and now it is getting worse with that attention of the club men.

That causes Alma's eyebrow to raise. "What do you mean?"

She can tell Luann knows she spoke too much, but now she can't take the words back. "The club and I are partners now. Jax was the one to bring it to the table."

"Hmmm."

Luann doesn't say anything which makes it all worse. The silence regarding that one thing is more embarrassing than anything. She wonders what Luann has witnessed and the fact Jax doesn't care about the humiliation of his acts that bear witnesses.

"Does Otto know?"

"I told him. I think it is hard for him to not be here to support me. All of this…" Luann trails off. "I try not to complain, but this was one thing that I owned. I…" Luann stops again.

Alma gives Luann a couple minutes to compose herself. "If you want. I can hire you to do the nails. Give you the extra income."

"I'm sure that needs to be a club vote." Alma says.

"No, this _isn't_ club business."

Alma gives Luann a real genuine smile. "Thank you."

"Us women need to stick together." Luann tells her firmly. "I'll drop by the official paperwork. It might be good to think of a business name as well. I'll try and network for you as much as I can."

.

.

When Luann leaves and she begins cleaning up. The news of Jax being Larry Flynt stews. She doesn't mind it and she knows that even if she did, she has no say in club business. She trusted Jax. Now, it seemed it was a big secret and she was the last one to find out.

It hurts that everyone else can see the cracks in her marriage too. She doesn't know what to do. The worst thing is she can hear her mom telling her "i told you so".

For now, she is going to try to focus on her daughter's upcoming birthday party. It is better than to think about the women keeping her husband company. It makes her not want to even attend any function and be exposed to the whispers. She won't cry though. She won't give Jax the satisfaction. She won't give him anything.

She'll put a fake smile on her face and go about her day.

She is writing down the list of supplies she will need for Kaylee's party when the door opens. She hears the jingling of keys and her husband walks into the kitchen. She is taken back when he greets her with a kiss on the head before rummaging in the fridge.

The words slip out before she can stop them.

"You're a porn producer now?"

Jax's body tenses and he slowly turns around. He stares at her. He has to know that Luann was the one to spill the beans. "Yeah."

"And you didn't tell me because?" She presses.

Jax doesn't say anything as he presses his lips together in the thin line. He runs a hand down his face. "It's club business."

Alma scoffs. "What happened to total disclosure?"

"At my discretion. I don't need to tell you shit."

Alma stands up from the table. "Did you really just say that to me?"

"Luann is obviously putting shit in your ear. So what is it you are exactly accusing me of?"

Alma shakes her head. She can feel her body shaking. When she is angry, she is the person that cries. Also, she doesn't think she ever really recalls being this angry with her husband. She wants to kick him out of the house. She isn't going to be his emotional punching bag.

Jax stands in front of her. She is forced to look up at him. She wants to take a step back, but she stands her ground.

"What the fuck did Luann tell you?"

Alma looks down and focuses her gaze on the single bullet pendant. She takes a deep breath and looks up into Jax's blue eyes. "It's _old lady_ business."

Jax scoffs. "You got to be fucking kidding me." He moves away from her. "I'm not dealing with this shit."

"Shocking, you're walking away." Her words make Jax freeze.

"What the fuck does that mean?"

"What do you think it fucking means?" She fires back. She wants to shiver from how cold Jax is acting towards her. She is honestly trying to figure out how in the world they got to this point. Jax doesn't say anything as he stares at her with furrowed brows.

Alma licks her lips. "Maybe…" She trails off because she knows if she says it, she can't take the words back. They can't go back to how things were before.

His blue eyes are burning a hole into her, but she never gets to finish her words as Nathan comes in. Alma goes back to making her supply list for Kaylee's party. Nathan manages to drag Jax into playing basketball in the driveway.

.

.

Alma feels like an outsider. She feels like a hypocrite. Donna didn't say anything though. She didn't make any snide comment as she opened the door wider for her to come into the house. In fact, Alma had faced the cold facts that Donna is truly her only friend. Alma was shocked to see boxes piled everywhere, but she didn't say anything.

Donna didn't say anything as she made them tea knowing Alma hates coffee. Donna eventually slides a warm mug in front of her.

"Thank you."

Donna nods her head. "I'm sorry for what I said the last time we spoke."

"Don't apologize." Alma tells her.

"No, I wasn't taking in my accountability for the situation. Mine and Opie's problems are our own." Donna explains.

"You moving?"

"I'm selling this house. Downsizing. Oswald is helping me with that. Got me a deal. If I stay here, I would go into debt."

"Opie knows?"

"Helped pick out the house."

"Things are…"

"Better. Manageable." Donna finishes. "I just know being angry isn't going to help. I have to take it day by day."

"I'm glad to know you're okay. I know I wasn't that supportive." Alma admits her fault.

"I mean how can any of us be in this? You want to support the man, the club, but we can't put that before our children."

"I just don't want you to be alone in all of us." Alma tells her.

Donna gives her a sad smile. "I don't think you came here to talk about Opie and me."

"I just came to get away, honestly. Things between Jax and I haven't been smooth." Alma admits.

Donna nods. "How have you been since Ben?'

Alma chews on her bottom lip. It wasn't as if she wasn't devastated about the loss of her child. She was, but she had the support of family to get her through it. She also thinks she had accepted things like this just happened. She knows Jax never got the closure of losing their son. He wasn't there to grieve with them. He never got to hold his son for those few moments to say goodbye.

She knows that she can't put a timetable on his grief, but the way he is acting and behaving...she doesn't recognize him anymore.

"Jax won't talk to me. About anything. I mean I know that...losing a child does break marriages."

"I'm sorry, Alma. How bad is it?"

Does Alma really want to admit that her husband cheating on her is a dealbreaker when he sells guns. Maybe it wouldn't be as bad if he wasn't blatant about it. If it didn't feel like he was throwing it in her face. Alma doesn't want to admit she has turned into her mother.

"Luann offered me a job doing nails for the studio. So I got a job." Alma replies with.

Donna gives her a closed lip smile as she nods her head. "Maybe we should brainstorm on business names, yeah?"

.

.

Alma usually can ignore the sound of Jax's phone ringing, but when both kids are experiencing explosive diarrhea and throwing up, she has hit her peak. It has not been a very relaxing day especially when she had no husband to help deal with the two sick kids.

Jax groans from beside her. Alma squints as she checks on the tme and sees it is 6:30 AM.

"What Luann?" Jax asks gruffly.

She didn't even know the studio was even open that early. Luann told her that she is only needed on set every other day and not on weekends due to the kids. Today is Saturday. She can hear Luann yelling faintly. Alma squeezes her pillow tightly as Jax sits up on the bed.

Alma can't help the shiver from the cold air hitting her skin as Jax leaves the bed. He grumbles to Luann about being there in about 20 minutes before she slams the phone shut.

"Chlamydia outbreak?" Alma says into the dark of the room.

Jax snorts, but doesn't reply.

Alma leans up and turns on her lamp next to the bed. "Are you gonna come back?"

Jax looks at her confused as he buttons his jeans. "Where in the fuck am I gonna go?"

"You promised Kaylee that you were gonna take her for a ride and some ice cream."

"It's barely 7 in the morning. I have all afternoon for that."

"That's not the point, Jax." Alma snaps. "She is gonna be crushed that you aren't here when she wakes up!"

"Jesus Christ, well what do you want me to do? Ignore Luann because if you haven't forgotten, she just gave you a fucking job at the studio."

That was a sore topic between her and Jax now. Jax didn't want Alma at the studio at all, but she sure as hell wasn't letting some of the workers come into her home. Some girls were lovely like Lyla. Others she could tell were judging her. She got a lot of comments for how good she looked for being a mother. They were surprised to see she was able to keep her figure. There was a lot of judgment.

She knows Jax's concern isn't with how the women are treating her, but the fact she is probably interacting with a woman he has fucked. It's telling how he never manages to be at the studio when she's there.

She doesn't bother in replying to Jax as she turns off the light and lays back down.

She's tired.

.

.

Jax smiles as he watches Nathan's failed attempt at skipping rocks. They were at the streams for a father and son day. Jax had a break in his long days and he thought spending time with his oldest would be the best way to figure out what the fuck he was doing.

Jax knows he is hurting Alma - he is hurting their marriage.

He just doesn't understand when it got easier to not talk to his wife. He knows Alma will hit a breaking point. He just doesn't know how to find his way back to her. He doesn't know how to bring up their dead son and how it had gutted him to have to find out through Stahl their family had gone through such a tremendous loss.

It's just every day, he sees his family moving further away from him while he is stuck in his own misery. He just knows there is no coming back from the shit he has been doing. He is even more surprised Alma hasn't called him out or kicked him out of the house. Though he knows why she hasn't taken that drastic measure. He knows Alma would rather live with them being strangers than for their kids to grow up in a broken home.

"Dad, I'm shit at this." Nathan cries as a rock plummets to the bottom.

"Hey, watch your mouth," Jax scolds gently. "Your mom will have my ass hearing you talk like this."

Nathan snorts as he moves away from the stillwater. He sits down beside him and Jax swings his arm around his son and brings him in a bear hug. He knows in a few years and heck maybe a few months that Nathan won't allow this. Despite his son only being on the cups of seven, he finds that his son seems older some days.

It is even harder to believe it's been six years since the birth of his son.

He still remembers a teary eyed Alma informing him of her suspicions of a possible pregnancy. She was a kid. 16 years old crying in his dorm room. He had done that because he couldn't help himself. He was the dumb one for not wearing protection.

He still remembers their first time. Alma was dressed up in a black dress that was very inappropriate to begin with. She got stuck in Stockton at a party in a club after a fight with a boyfriend. She had called him for a ride. She failed to mention how she had managed to even get a fake ID. Not one for washing dirty laundry in front of others, he had taken her to her house and forced her to drink some water to sober up. Jax knew he couldn't judge, but it was very stupid of her to get drunk somewhere unfamiliar.

Jax knew it was bad enough that his eyes would linger on Alma's curves or what her lips would feel like, but he knew he would never act on it. But he did.

Jax was weak and he fucked her.

She got pregnant and Ana threatened to have him arrested multiple times for sleeping with her daughter. He had only recently turned 18 and she was acting like he was damn near 30 years old. He can admit Alma's pregnancy with Nathan were the best months. The intimacy between him and Alma was what he missed the most. Despite knowing each other all of their lives, they were discovering each other in different ways. He isn't going to deny that the sex was fucking phenomenal either.

Just those small moments of laying in bed and watching Nathan move inside her belly is something he wishes he could go back too. He holds his son closer. He presses a kiss to his head. "You know I miss when you were a baby."

Nathan scrunches his nose. "Why?"

"You were a cute baby. Your mom would dress you in such ridiculous outfits."

Nathan scowls while Jax laughs.

"You used to like sleeping on my bare chest. You threw up on me plenty of times."

'If i was still a baby, Kaylee wouldn't be here."

"Well you are right about that." Jax agrees.

"Besides, you liked changing my poopy diapers?"

"You do make a good point, you had the worst diapers."

"Will you and Mom…" Nathan trails off.

"Will we what?" Jax presses.

"Will we get another baby in the family?"

Jax tightens his hold on his son. "I don't know." Having more kids is the last thing on Jax's mind. "Did you see Ben when he was born?" Jax asks softly.

Nathan nods his head. Jax doesn't think he is going to add anything, but he does. "He was really tiny. Smaller than one of Kaylee's dolls. Mom was in the bed holding him. She was singing "Dreaming of You". The nurses took him away and Mommy got quiet. She made a noise that scared me. She started screaming for you."

"I'm sorry I wasn't there." Jax tells her his son.

"Are you and Mommy okay?"

Jax doesn't get to reply as his phone begins going off. He sighs as he pulls the device out of his pocket. He clenches his jaw at Luann calling again before he answers it. He is barely listening as she rambles until he hears that Clay had sent Bobby over there to handle books.

He knows Clay has been in a mood lately and for some reason his step-father didn't seem to think adding legal income was a smart move. He claimed it would be too much for the club since they didn't know where this bullshit with Zobelle was going. He also has a feeling Clay and his mom have been distant which is feeding into Clay's uneasiness.

"Christ, Luann, I'll be there in a bit." He tells her as he slams his phone shut. He looks down at his son. "We have to make a small detour."

.

.

"Just stay out here. I'll be out in a few minutes." Jax says hurriedly to Nathan. "Remember don't tell your mother either."

Nathan nods his head. His father presses a kiss to his head and rushes inside the very large building. Nathan is slightly confused why he can't go inside the building and he doesn't really like that his Dad wants to keep it a secret from Mom. He has noticed his parents aren't the same anymore. He makes him sad to know his parents aren't happy when he is happy. Him and Kaylee are both happy that their dad is back home with him.

Nathan watches a blonde girl pass by him with a very short skirt. He crinkles his nose at her and hears her snort.

Nathan keeps himself distracted by mimicking driving his Dad's bike and he is having fun doing that until he spots his Grandmother rushing into the lot.

She looks at him confused, but doesn't get to speak as he sees his grandfather right behind her on his bike.

"What the hell you doing here?" His granddad shouts.

His grandma frowns at him before turning to Clay. "Luann called. She's freaking out."

"That's club business." Clay spits. "You got no reason to intervene."

Nathan is distracted as Tig picks him up off his Dad's bike.

"What... intervene? She's my friend. She needs to talk." Gemma replies as she studs her keys into her purse.

"So when she wants to talk, you what, drop everything?" Clay fires back.

"Jesus Christ, what are you, three?" Gemma says exasperated.

"Get back to the garage." Clay orders. Nathan is even taken back back as his Grandma.

"Excuse me?"

"The last thing I need is for you running diva over a goddamn cum factory."

Nathan is shocked when his grandma kicks his grandpa's bike. "Asshole."

Nathan gets scared, however, when his grandpa picks up a brick and throws it at his grandma's car. It smashes the driver's side window.

"You stupid piece of shit!" Gemma screams.

Tig shakes him. "Go get your Dad."

Nathan runs off and into the building. His eyes widen when he sees alot of girls wearing very little. He finds his dad sitting on a couch with the blonde girl he saw earlier.

His dad notices him first. "I thought I told you to wait outside."

Nathan doesn't get to respond as the blonde lady comes closer. "Ohh, is this your son?" She says in a baby voice that makes Nathan wrinkle his nose in distaste.

Jax blocks him from view as he peers down on him.

"Grandma and Grandpa are fighting." Nathan says before tugging his dad back outside.

They witness Clay punching Gemma's escalade.

"Just what those arthritic mitts need, a good pounding." Gemma sneers before going to walk away.

"You want to see a good pounding?" Clay mutters as he comes up behind Gemma.

Nathan gets scared for his grandma as she freezes at the contact. She releases a startled breath and screams brokeningly. " Come on, bad ass, lay hands on me. I'll slit your goddamn throat! You are pathetic! Don't you touch... Don't!"

Nathan rushes forward and pushes his grandpa away. "Stay away, Grandpa!"

He doesn't like seeing his Dad or grandpa making his mom and Grandma cry. He is tired of seeing the women in his family looking so sad.

He hugs his grandmother's legs. "It's okay, Grandma. I got you."

.

.

There are a lot of things Gemma overlooks from her son. In this life, she knows her son does things that most parents would never want any child to even be aware of. Just growing up in this life, Gemma has accepted it. However, the fact her son brought her grandson to a porn studio is something she isn't going to let slide by.

If her son wants to sabotage his marriage there isn't much she can do, but for him to put his children in the crossfire, her son is a fucking idiot. She knows that Alma most certainly doesn't know about that visit.

Gemma didn't think she would raise such a dumbass for a son.

"You needed me?"

Gemma's eyes fly to her son. She notices that he has neglected shaving his beard and cutting his hair. He looks tired. Gemma thinks she can relate.

"What were you thinking taking Nathan to Cara Cara?"

Jax sighs. "It's not a big deal."

"Are you purposely trying to piss off Alma?" She questions hotly.

"What about what's going on with you and Clay?"

Gemma doesn't lower her gaze from her son's burning eyes. She is not oblivious that everyone has been walking on eggshells around her. She would love to tell her son and husband the truth about her car accident, but she knows they would do something stupid. She would lose her boys to that anger.

"Alma's not blind or stupid, Jax. Just because she hasn't outright done or said anything…" Gemma trails off. She has tried to pry her way inside Alma's mind. She was curious to know where her daughter in laws head was at. As much as Alma is Chico's daughter, Ana was the one that raised her. Ana was known for her plotting. She made her exit strategies. Gemma knows that Alma is getting all her ducks in a row and since her son is being an asshole she can't blame her.

Gemma watches as Jax looks away from her. She clears her throat. "Miss Double Penetration is waiting for you."

She is surprised to see the guilt in her son's face.

.

.

Alma is busy in the kitchen making dinner. Nathan and Jax have been out all day. She and Kaylee stayed inside and had a mini spa day. Kaylee wanted to learn how to do pretty nails like she did. Kaylee was not fond of not being able to go to see and all the pretty nails she does at work.

It was a good day though. For once, Alma didn't really feel stressed or consumed with negative thoughts about where her life had been going lately. She looks out to the opening where Kaylee is consumed with the TV. She is talking along with Dora as they speak Spanish.

Alma knows she should speak to her children more in Spanish. She knows her mother only speaks to them in Spanish. She knows though that her mother does it to irritate Jax. Jax has been able to pick up some words, but she knows he gets lost when she or the kids really get going.

Alma smiles as she turns back to the request for Burritos for dinner and some supreme nachos. She is busy filling the burritos and lost in her head when she jumps as she feels hands grab her hips.

The smell of nicotine and leather fill her senses and Jax's arms wrap fully around her and she is pulled to his chest.

Alma is making dinner with Kaylee when he comes home and surprises Alma with some affection. She is frozen as she places a kiss on her cheek and then on her shoulder.

"Where's Nathan?"

"Dropped him off with Mom."

"Did you guys have a good time?" She asks.

"Yeah," Jax mutters against her head. "Should plan a family day to the beach after Kaylee's birthday."

Alma is perplexed, but doesn't let on. if he wants to pretend things are fine. She'll let him. He isn't going to ruin her good mood for the day.

"Just let me know what i need to do." She replies.

Jax smiles. "Do you need any help in the kitchen?"

Alma shakes her head. "No. No, thank you though."

She is taken back by him giving her another hug and pressing a kiss to her head before joining Kaylee in her Dora adventures.

.

.

Alma feels unsettled. Jax had become more attentive and affectionate over the past couple days and it's throwing her off. She even woke up to him between her thighs and he didn't even want her to return the favor.

Something is just off and she wonders if all of this is happening because of his guilt about something. She didn't miss the headline in the news about some backwater trailer being blown to smithereens. There are reports of it being a meth lab and while she listens to the story, she realizes she has no idea what is going on within the club.

Jax would tell her everything down to the club voting on which toilet paper should be in the clubhouse. Now, he hasn't told her anything evident when she had to find out through Luann about him being a porn producer.

Alma sighs as she knows she and Jax need to have a talk soon. It is the only reason why when she went grocery shopping she let Nathan have fun in the snack aisle. She knows whatever talk she and Jax have is not going to be pretty.

She pulls into her driveway and narrows her eyes at a young blonde girl standing at her front door. The girl is wearing a micro skirt with a tube top as she chews on bubble gum.

"Stay in the car," Alma tells her son as she exits the car.

Alma watches as the woman trails her eyes over her frame. The woman is clearly judging her for some reason. Alma thinks she recognizes her and clearly from her outfit alone she knows this is a pornstar.

"Can I help you?" Alma asks her.

The girl blows a bubble with her gum. "Luann said you are supposed to be doing our nails." The girl holds up a hand with a broken nail. "I need this fixed."

"You need to make an appointment, or just wait until i come to the studio."

"Excuse me." The girl replies irritated.

"I'm sorry, but I don't take walk-ins." Alma explains. "I apologize if someone told you differently."

"I mean I wasted my gas and safety coming over here considering the whole situation with Georgie Carusco. Jax's been giving me rides back home." The woman says sweetly before walking away. "I'm Ima, by the way," she yells out.

Alma swallows the lump in her throat and she walks back to the car. She opens Nathan's door and smiles at him tightly. His words higher make her stomach drop.

"I seen her before. Dad was talking to her." She can tell Nathan realizes what he said as he looks at her worried.

"Where did you see her?" She can tell Nathan doesn't want to tell her. "Nathan."

"Daddy had to go visit Luann." He mumbles.

.

.

Alma waits. She makes dinner for the Jax and the kids. Jax volunteers to put the kids to bed and that is when Alma makes her move. She had showered and changed into a set of Pajama shorts and a cami. She almost feels bad as she hears Jax laughing with one of the kids.

She planned just to wait in bed to confront him, but she was too antsy. She couldn't keep still. She stands up and starts walking in a circle before she stands next to the small bookcase she and Jax keep in their room.

She knows after this nothing in their marriage can go back to the way things used to be. She can't decide if she feels anger or sadness.

She can hear Jax's heavy tread down the hallway. She can hear him enter their room and immediately closes the door. She doesn't wait. She turns around and looks at her husband.

"Who is Ima?" She asks with a blank expression.

She can tell he is taken back as the smile on his face disappears. He has a blank mask. "She is one of Luann's girls."

"And you're giving her rides home because?" Alma spits out.

"What the hell did my mother tell you?"

"It doesn't matter what your mother says. What do you say?" She fires back hotly. She ignores the sting of Gemma knowing about Jax's wandering dick.

"Whatever you heard is bullshit." He spits.

Alma doesn't realize she even grabbed the plastic ashtray until it is already flying across the room and smacks Jax in the face.

"What the fuck, Alma!"

"Am I not good enough for you!" She screams as she throws another meaningless item at him. "Did you have sex with her!"

Jax doesn't reply fast enough and he barely dodges another item that flies at him.

"Why in the fuck does Nathan know who she is, is actually the bigger issue." Alma spits. "You want to fuck your whore do it on your own goddamn times."

"He...I only took him there once, Al. It's not...he didn't see anything." Jax says trying to control the panic he is feeling. His marriage is about to implode.

Alma opens the drawers filled with Jax's clothes and throws them at him.

"Get out! I don't want you here. Go fuck your whores at the clubhouse!" She screams at him. She knows that she won't be able to bear hearing his voice or his touch. She runs into the bathroom and locks the door to avoid facing him.

She doesn't bother holding her sobs as the cries break out. All she can think is that this is what her mother had warned her about. Her mother told her this would happen. She doesn't know how long she kept herself isolated in the bathroom until a timid knock comes from the door.

"Mom?"

Alma immediately stands up and wipes at her face hearing Nathan's voice. She opens the door and gives him a watery smile.

"What's wrong baby?"

"Are you okay?" He asks.

"I'm just a little bit sad. I'll feel better in the morning."

Nathan looks at her confused before he hugs her legs. "I don't like it when you're sad, Mommy. Will a kiss make you feel better?"

Alma kneels down. "A kiss from you will always make me feel better."

Nathan smiles and gives her a kiss. She holds her son tightly.

.

.

Jax knows he fucked up. In fact, his mind is still back in his bedroom as he watched a piece of Alma crumble. He knows there is no going back to how things were before. Instead of trying to fix his marriage, he finds himself at Cara Cara. He had confirmed it was a late shot. Some girls doing a few things on the cam. He is surprised the doors are even open that late considering the whole bullshit with Georgie. He thinks the expensive ass guard dogs must provide some comfort.

He is pissed though. Despite this being his fault for fucking that stupid pornstar. It's his fault that his marriage is hanging on barley by a thread. Besides after taking a ride, the last place he wanted to be at was the clubhouse. He didn't want to explain why he was showing up there late a night. He thinks he will just sleep on the couch when he gets home and leave before Alma realizes what he did. Worse, he will find refuge at his mom's house.

He takes a drag of his cigarette and then flicks the bud away. He takes a deep breath as he walks into the building. The girls barely blink at his presence. He feels shame tainting his blood as he knows these girls know his wife. Alma does their nails and they know what he does at some of the parties here.

He knows one particular pornstar that works with Ima, Lyla can't hide her disgust for him. He follows the familiar path to the dressing room and doesn't bother knocking on the door as he enters.

Ima and Lyla are doing their makeup and both jump at his arrival.

Lyla rolls her eyes and slams her something down on her makeup stand. She stands up abruptly and looks at Ima, "Reminder we're on in 15 minutes." Lyla doesn't hide her sneer at him as she leaves and slams the door.

Ima stands up and immediately unties her sheer pink robe. She has a flirty smile on her face as she approaches him. "Miss me?" She asks with a sultry smile.

Jax doesn't say anything as she approaches and she leans up to kiss him. He doesn't let her get that far as he cups her face and begins to lead her backwards towards her station. He thinks maybe he should feel some guilt for what he is about to do. She doesn't see it coming as he turns her and she releases a moan before it turns into a startled scream as he slams her face against her makeup station. She immediately tries to get away from him as she begins crawling.

He pulls her back by her hair. His grip is tight around her throat as he leans over her as he presses her against a lounge chair that is in her room.

She is too scared to scream or even cry as the blood pours out of her nose.

"You ever flash that rancid pussy around my family again, I will kill you. You understand?" He threatens her.

Ima nods as a sob breaks through her lips.

Jax stands up and looks at her in disgust. "Whore." He mutters before he leaves her alone. He can hear her sobbing as he walks down the hallway.

.

.

Jax isolates himself from the club once they reach Eureka. He has a bottle of Jack and wants to be left alone with his thoughts.

His kids had given him a cheerful goodbye and he had promised them a souvenir to bring back. Alma, however, was nowhere to be seen before he left. In fact, they haven't spoken in a week since she confronted him about Ima. He isn't stupid and hasn't tried to sleep in their bed together. He has made a home in the guest room. He knows he has some serious groveling to do to even get an ounce of forgiveness from her. He is not even sure where to start.

The only thing that has been able to keep him busy is club business. They are still trying to figure out how to handle Zobelle and he can tell it is getting to Clay after their little showdown on how to handle getting Tig back from the bounty hunters.

He knows that most of the stress coming from Clay is from whatever his mom has been dealing with since her car accident.

The only thing that Jax can say gets him through the day is that his children are safe. He is hoping by Kaylee's birthday that he and Alma will have things settled to a point she can look at him and probably not want to stab him.

Jax hears the sound of footsteps and he turns his head to find Bobby approaching. Bobby takes a seat on his bike that is parked next to him.

"You doing okay?" Bobby asks him.

Jax shrugs. "Just some shit at home."

Bobby hums. "Alma find out what you did to Ima?"

Jax shakes his head. "Ima knew better than to go to my fucking house." Jax defends himself.

"I'm not judging. I have no place considering the shit I put Precious through." Bobby amends. "What you and Alma went through on top of club shit hitting the fan...it's tough. How we grieve is different and there isn't a right way, butare you grieving Jax or punishing her."

Jax glares at Bobby, but he can't exactly deny the accusation.

"In this life, we can't have therapists, but we have old ladies or Piney," Bobby quips that makes Jax snort. "Just where is your head at man?" Bobby implores.

Jax takes a swing of his Jack as he looks out into the darkness of the night. In truth, he doesn't know. "I don't know, really. It's just a let it get this bad, I'm not sure if I can find a way back."

Bobby nods his head. "Alma loves you. She'll listen and the forgiveness might not come easy - "

"What if I already lost her?"

Bobby doesn't have an answer to that.

.

.

Gemma and Alma are out shopping for last minute items for Kaylee's birthday party. Alma had been surprised by the request and even more she somehow managed to convince Donna to have a playdate while they went out shopping.

So far Gemma has been entertaining small talk and Alma knows Gemma wants to talk about Jax. She is trying to ease her way into it.

Alma decides to cut through the bullshit. "Did you know about Ima?"

Gemma freezes and looks up from the packet of napkins that read "Happy Birthday". "So he slept with her?"

"He didn't deny it." Alma confirms. "I'm also not stupid enough to think she is the only one."

"What are you going to do?" Gemma asks.

"Try not to murder him in his sleep." Alma remarks dryly. "She came to our house, Gem."

Gemma eyes widen. She can tell her mother in law didn't know that. "She what!"

"I also know Jax took Nathan to Cara Cara." Alma adds. "I'm sorry, Gem, but I don't think this is something that can be fixed."

"Al…"

Alma shakes her head. "I need distance from him and all of this. It wasn't even like this was from him being on a run. He did this at home. Do you know how stupid I look going to Cara Cara and knowing Jax fucked them the night before. It wasn't even like he wasn't getting any at home either."

"Maybe send him to the clubhouse. Put up some boundaries. Divorce is serious, Alma."

Alma rolls her eyes. "I tried to kick him up and he only went to the couch. We can't say we didn't see this coming, Gem. When a couple loses a child...it's almost inevitable this was going to happen."

"What about the kids?" Gemma asks.

"We'll still be a family even if Jax and I are not together." Alma tells her softly.

"God, you're mother must be loving this."

"She doesn't know about anything that is going on," Alma tells her. "Even then it's not like I am calling a lawyer for divorce."

Gemma snorts. "If you are going to file for a legal separation isn't that going to just lead to divorce." Gemma remarks bitterly. "Just set some boundaries for Jax. You're not the first old - "

"Please, Gemma, I don't need that speech right now." Alma interrupts. "I am not just Jax's old lady. I am his wife. We made vows that were pretty important to me. He fucked up. All of this is on him."

Alma doesn't wait for Gemma to reply as she heads to check out. She really does not need to hear how old ladies need to stick together or any other pro club bullshit. Although what did she expect talking to Gemma, she is Jax's mother, but she knows she can't go to her mother with this. She thinks maybe Donna would be someone to talk to, but she doesn't want to burden the woman with her problems.

Gemma is silent as she follows her. It isn't until they are out of the store and carrying the bags into the car that she speaks. "Look, I'm sorry. I just know this would break Jax's heart."

"As if he didn't break mine?"

Gemma is left speechless. There really isn't anything to say after that. Gemma purses her lips as she looks out into the parking lot. She freezes as she spots a very familiar blonde and the two lock eyes. Gemma's feet begin moving as she reaches into her purse for her gun. She speeds up as the woman realizes she is being chased.

Gemma can hear Alma calling for her, but she is focused on the woman, who finds an escape through Winston pulling up in a truck. Gemma falters as the man that has haunted her nightmares. Her eyes follow the truck that disappears into a tiny dot.

A hand reaches out and touches her shoulder and on instinct Gemma brings up her elbow in defense. She can hear the crunch of a nose.

"Fuck, Gemma!" Alma shouts.

"Oh, shit, I'm sorry!"

"What the hell, Gemma!" Alma groans as she tries to staunch the bleeding.

"Let's get you to St. Thomas." Gemma amends as she leads Alma back to the car.

Her nose isn't broken, but she has a nasty bruise along the bridge with a black eye to match. Alma knows though something is wrong with Gemma. She feels guilty for not paying attention before. She's been too blinded by her breaking marriage to realize Gemma is still dealing with the after effects of her car accident. Gemma was clearly chasing some girl and she didn't miss how her mother in law was reaching for a gun.

"Who was the girl?" Alma asks Gemma as they drive back to her house.

Gemma side eyes her, but doesn't answer.

"You almost just blew my head off."

"Don't exaggerate." Gemma snarks.

Alma sighs. "The car accident wasn't a car accident was it?"

Gemma doesn't answer until they pull up into Alma's driveway. "The night of Bobby's party... A minivan pulls up behind me. That girl jumps out in a panic. Says her baby's choking it was a goddamn doll in the car seat. She hit me over the back of the head with something. They had me handcuffed to a chain link. There were three of them."

Gemma doesn't add any more, but Alma knows what happened and it makes her feel sick to her stomach. "You need to tell Jax and Clay, Gem."

"No, if I do…" Gemma trails off.

"You know who did this?" Alma probes.

"I know what is going on between you and Jax...no matter what i say or do, I just want the best for my family. I know if Jax finds out about this with the shit going on between you two...he doesn't need that." Gemma says softly.

Alma swallows the lump in her throat. She knows Gemma wants to protect her son from this pain, but she can't not this time. This need for this secret to be quiet is going to make things worse.

"You need to talk to someone, Gemma."

"Well now I have you."

.

.

Alma finds herself sitting on the back patio with a cup of tea in her hands. Gemma took the kids for the rest of the day and Alma is left alone with her thoughts since Gemma's revelation. Alma isn't sure what to do. It's not her place to tell Gemma's story and Gemma did leave out certain pieces so she couldn't even place together who did this to Gemma.

Alma knows it is somehow connected to the club and considering how Jax isn't telling her anything these days, she has no dots to connect.

Alma sighs as she lounges on the lounge chair.

She doesn't know what to do anymore. She knows Gemma means well in wanting to keep their family together, but it's not that simple.

"Hey, you alright?"

Alma turns at the sight of her husband, who is looking at her in concern.

"I'm fine."

"That's a solid shot to the face."

"It was an accident. I'm fine." She states as she looks at him for the first time in days. This is the first time they have spoken since their argument.

"Alma -"

"What Jax?" She snaps.

"I'm sorry." He whispers.

Alma chuckles bitterly. "Your words don't mean shit."


	4. Na Triobloidi

Alma tries her best to keep the more traumatic events that surround the club from her kids. She knows in the long run it may bite her in the ass, but they are under 6. There are some things that they just don't need to know. Their minds don't need to be tainted with the harsh cold reality of their world yet.

Yet, there are times it can't be avoided when they need to go to the hospital to visit members. Nathan never really questioned things. He took it at face value, or she believes he saves the hard questions for his father or even Opie.

Kaylee always asks more questions. Alma thinks she would make a good lawyer or journalist when she is older. Kaylee's brows furrow as Alma kneels down in front of her and tries to explain Chibs booboo.

Kaylee had drawn him a lovely picture to keep in his room and even "donated" one of her stuffed animals to keep him company.

"But how did he get hurt, Mommy?" Kaylee asks again.

"You know how cars have wires," Alma starts and pauses to see Kaylee nod her head. "Well, Chibs accidentally put two wires together and it caused him to get a booboo on his head."

Kaylee purses her lips and Alma thinks she is going to ask the question again. Instead her little girl takes her hand and leads her inside the hospital room.

Chibs is laying in bed. His eyes are closed and Alma thinks he is sleeping. However, his eyes open slowly and a smile comes across his face.

"Chibby!" Kaylee exclaims, but then slams her hands over her mouth.

Alma chuckles lowly.

"It's my favorite lassie." Chibs comments as he moves the bed to recline higher.

Alma places Kaylee on the bed where her little girl gives Chibs a gentle kiss on his bandage that is wrapped around his head.

"A kiss to make you feel better." Kaylee says as she settles in Chibs lap.

"I already feel better, lassie." Chibs says.

"I hope so. The only boy I kiss is Daddy and sometimes Grandpa."

Alma snorts while Chibs chuckles. "Good. You shouldn't be kissing any boys."

"Boys are gross. Besides, you and Daddy are man." Kaylee points out. "Besides, I brought you Rummy."

Kayle hands over her blue monkey to Chibs. "It is so you have a friend since I'm not allowed to spend the night."

"That's sweet of you luvie." Chibs tells her as he accepts the soft stuffed animal.

"Any idea of how long you'll be here?" Alma asks softly.

"I'll say a couple weeks if I don't have any complications. So hopefully my brain doesn't act funny."

"Are you going to be able to come to my birthday!" Kaylee cries out.

"Oh, luvie, I don't know."

Alma is surprised when the tear line Kaylee's eyes. She is immediately grabbing her daughter and holding her clothes. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"I want Chibs there and Daddy," she wails.

"Honey, Daddy is going to be at your party. Why wouldn't he?"

Kaylee hides her face with her small hands. "Daddy isn't home like he used to be. You and Daddy mad at each other."

Alma frowns as she cuddles Kaylee closer to her. She presses a kiss to her forehead. "Daddy will be at your party, sweetie. You'll probably get mad because he won't let you play with your friends. And Chibs booboo needs to be watched by the doctors. We'll save him some cake and you never know maybe Chibs can come over and have a tea party just you two."

Alma looks over at Chibs who is watching her with a serious face. Her troubles with Jax officially leaving the walls of her home.

Kaylee nods her head and looks back at Chibs. "I'll save you a piece of cake, Chibby."

"A lass after my own heart." He tells her.

.

.

.

Alma will feel awful if she ends up lying to Kaylee. It seemed Jax may end up missing his daughter's birthday as he and the club ended up in jail. They had apparently thought it would be a good idea to attack some church meeting.

From what little she gathered or cared to listen to, Gemma told her it was a set up. Alma knows it probably was, but they should've been smarter trying to get retribution for Chibs. Alma can't find it in her to feel sad or mad. She simply does not even care at this point. The only thing that matters is her childrens' happiness and safety.

She knows any happiness she has managed to conserve is going to be sucked up by her mother's upcoming visit.

She is currently at the Stockton Metropolitan Airport waiting for her mother. Apparently she is coming back from a trip from Paris with her current sugar daddy. Her mother had gladly informed her she was cutting her trip short to come to her own granddaughter's birthday party. Alma can already feel a headache forming as she looks at her mother strolling out of the airport with her designer suitcase and carry on. Her mom's eyes are hidden by the Gucci sunglasses, but by the frown on her face Alma knows her mom is about to lash at her for something.

Alma waits as her mom strolls over to the car and places her luggage in. Ana gets into the passenger side and slams the door. "You could've helped me with my bags." She snaps.

Alma sighs and just pulls out of her parking spot. "Sorry," she mumbles.

"Don't mumble," Ana tells her. "And don't be moody because your husband is locked up."

Alma looks over at her mother. "How'd you know about that?"

"Google alerts since my daughter doesn't tell me anything."

"It really isn't -" Alma begins to say, but is cut off.

"It is my business! My grandbabies are affected by this shit." Her mom practically screams. "And a fucking explosion at the garage. Those babies could've gotten hurt if they wanted to help out."

Alma purses her lips. She loves her mom. She really does, but she has never been there. Sure Alma had food, clothes, and shelter, but it seemed the moment Alma didn't conform to what Ana wanted her mother gave up instead of listening. Her mom reminds her of those pageant and dance moms she sees occasionally on TV. Her mom only wanted a good image.

After all, despite her mom's bitching, she didn't care about the criminal aspect of life. Her mom's sugar daddy has connections to the Russian Mafia. To her the mafia was cleaner than that of a motorcycle club. Alma doesn't bother pointing out her mother's hypocrisy.

"Is he even gonna be home for Kaylee's party?"

"I hope so, but it's not like this is going to be the only one he misses right." Alma remarks bitterly.

Ana chuckles. "I warned you about this. I told you what you should've done when you got pregnant."

Alma whips her head at her mother. "How can you say that! How can you look at me and tell me I should have gotten rid of Nathan."

Ana sighs. "You know I love Nathan. You were just a kid, Al. Jax knew fucking better than to mess with you. I'm still fucking confused why you spreaded your legs for him knowing how he fucked anything. You could've gotten out of this town. Out of this life."

"You can't change the past, Mom."

"Just repeat it as it seems." Ana remarks sadly.

.

.

"Grandma, why are we at a church?" Nathan asks as he licks his ice cream.

Gemma looks down at her grandchildren. Nathan is looking up at her with Jax's blue eyes. Does Gemma feel some guilt for what she is about to do. Maybe, but her boys are locked up and if Oswald can't be swayed by a pair of doe eye kids missing their daddy then the man is heartless. She just didn't want her granddaughter's birthday to be ruined by her father's absence. She knows with the charges the men have they might be going away for a while.

"We're going to visit a friend." Gemma tells him.

"Why?" Kaylee asks.

"Because I haven't seen him in a while." Gemma replies as she digs in her bag for a wipe. Somehow they always manage to get ice cream everywhere.

Kaylee tries to fight her when she is wiping her face.

"Grandma!"

"Well if you didn't get the ice cream everywhere I wouldn't have to do that." Gemma replies.

"I'm not a baby. I can wipe me face." Kaylee replies sternly.

Gemma looks at her with a raised eyebrow. She knows Kaylee is going to be trouble as a teenager for the whole family.

"Just be nice and quiet when we go in, alright?"

Both kids nod their heads and they make their way inside the church. The choir is singing beautifully and Gemma can spot Oswald's daughter in the front. She is the same age as Nathan. Oswald turns around from the side of their arrival, Gemma waves before ushering her grandchildren in the pews.

Gemma waits silently for the practice to finish. Luckily the kids were still entertained by their ice cream. As soon as the practice is over, Gemma is taken back by Tristan running over to them.

"Hi Nathan!" The girl greets with a wide smile.

"Hi, Trissy," Nathan replies and Gemma watches, entertained as her grandson's cheeks turn pink.

Tristan smiles before turning towards Gemma. "Hi, I'm Tristan."

"I'm Grandma," Gemma replies while Oswald comes up.

"Why don't you show Nathan and Kaylee the church while I talk to Gem." Oswald suggests to Tristan.

The kids don't need a verbal response as they rush out of the pews.

"She sings beautiful." Gemms starts.

"I'm gonna be out of town for the recital. Trying to catch some rehearsals." Oswald explains.

"You're a good dad."

Oswald smiles as he stuffs his hands into his suit pocket. "Sometimes I forget Jax is a dad. Him and Alma were the last couple I expected. Tris is always talking about Nathan though." He pauses as his face turns serious. "I heard about him and Clay."

"Your office told me you were here. Didn't know who else to go to." Gemma explains.

Oswald sits in the pew in front Gemma. "Maybe it's time for a lesson, Gemma, for all of us."

"Maybe." Gemma agrees slightly. "But this isn't it. Zobelle set up that bust. He's ripping apart the club. He's ripping apart charming." She tells him bluntly. "Clay outed Jacob Hale's bullshit scam, saved your land. Thought maybe you'd like to return the favor."

"How big a favor?"

Gemma licks her lips. "300 against three mil."

"Jesus Christ. I'd have to put up the same land for that kind of bail. One infraction, one guy splits, I lose it all. I lose it all." He explains to her hotly.

"They're not safe, Elliot. If I don't get them out of there, I might not see any of them again. Nathan and Kaylee might not see their father again."

Oswald doesn't say anything as he gives her a closed lipped smile. Gemma stands as she digs in her bag. "I'm not sure if Tristan got an invitation." Gemma passes over the invitation to Kaylee's upcoming birthday party.

.

.

Jax sits in the stiff metal chair with the cuffs around his wrists as he waits for Stahl to be done with her pissing contest. He doesn't know what she gets from having him sitting alone in a room especially in prison. If anything it's welcomed considering the shit show the club has found themselves in.

It was clear Zobelle had connections everywhere with how early on Juice was able to get attacked. They were lucky that Half Sack was able to pull his weight in getting his top rocker in securing them protection through Laroy. However, he was right in telling Clay that it would be stupid to make such a rash decision regarding retaliation. They would be playing right into Zobelle's hands and look where that got them. In jail and Clay decided to throw his fists at him for whatever bullshit Stahl managed to trigger in Clay.

Finally Stahl shows her face as she enters the room with an infamous manilla folder. She sits down and smiles at him. He is brought back to the last time they were in a room together where she brought him the worst news of his life.

"I know you want the MC on a better path. Put some distance between the law and the harleys. Legit porn business is proof of that. It's real smart, Jax. My guess is that you don't even want to be dealing guns." Stahl begins as she sits up straighter and opens the folder, which reveals pictures of their Irish contact Cameron Hayes meeting with Zobelle. "I'm not after SAMCRO. I want Cameron Hayes's true IRA contacts. Consider it retaliation for the Mick assholes jumping ship. And we both know that you'll never win this war against Zobelle."

"I'm not in a war." Jax replies.

Stahl smirks as she tilts her head. "You look pretty battle-worn to me." She replies back. "Look, I don't give a shit about this beef between you and Clay. Your club, your business. But maybe I can help you repair the damage, very least keep you alive. How long do you think you're gonna last out there on the yard?" She taunts. "They will pick you off, one by one, same way they did Juice."

"Then get us a decent bail." Jax answers as he leans back in his chair.

"I'll do better than that." She promises. "You give me inroads to the Irish, I'll get you and the club full immunity. I might even be able to get Otto's parole back on track."

The room is silent as they stare at each other. Jax isn't stupid nor is she. He will give it to Stahl she is a manipulative bitch who knows how to do her job for the most part.

"You have to think past your hatred for me." She implores. "You're smarter than that. I am offering you a bigger picture."

Jax isn't prepared for the next pictures that she pulls out. It is of Alma with the kids. They are at a park and the kids are smiling wide and happy. However, looking at Alma, despite the smile on her face, he can tell in her oversized cardigan that his wife isn't happy.

"You have a great girl, beautiful kids. I know how much they mean to you. I heard you and your wife have been having marital troubles and can't fix that from a prison cell, Jax."

Jax shakes his head and gives her a nasty smile. "You know my family...being a father...they've given me a new pair of glasses. Find myself thinking about the things I do, things I say. Ramifications." Jax leans up and looks down at the photos. "You have to. Not as angry or reactive. I can see that. For instance, you showing me these photos, trying to play my rage, my need for revenge. It didn't work." He tells her bluntly. "See, I was able to take a moment, think. And I realized that if we did have a relationship with the Irish... Which of course, we don't... What'd stop me from tipping them off? Letting 'em know you got 'em under thumb? You took a huge risk playing that card, which means you're desperate. You got _nothing_."

"You really are the smart one." She muses as she stands up and gathers her things. "By the way... Your bail was posted. You're all free to go and make sure you say hi to your mother in law for me. Heard she was back in town."

.

.

.

Alma is up late at night wrapping the presents for Kaylee's party. She had picked up last minute gifts for her daughter for the party. Gemma was actually going to keep the kids for the next couple days so the set up for the party could be a surprise for Kaylee.

She had headphones in her ear so she didn't hear anything or even feel the vibration from the door closing. She has placed the last piece of tape on the present when her eyes just flick forward for a brief second and they fly back to the figure standing in the doorway. Alma almost screams at the site before she realizes it is Jax.

Her body instantly relaxes at the sight of her husband and she removes her headphones. She pushes the presents away as she stands up. She is only wearing a simple white tank and just a pair of black cotton panties.

Jax's gaze is just burning her. He isn't speaking. Alma looks him over and she can see some cuts and bruises on his face. She walks over to him slowly and her arms wrap around him tentatively.

She isn't going to ask about the wounds. She knows she won't get an answer. She is surprised when his arms come around her and he holds her tightly. She is pressed tightly into him. She thinks she could cry. Even in his warmth, she still feels so cold. She doesn't move away and she only closes her eyes as she listens to his heartbeat.

They stay that way for a while until she feels his hands trail down her body. They settle on her hips and his fingers dip below the band of her underwear. She leans away from him a little.

"Jax…" She questions as to what he is doing, or more so what this even means.

It's instinctive as he moves his hands to cup her thighs and brings her up that she needs to wrap her legs around him.

Their lips meet instantly. Jax is walking them towards the bed as their tongues clash together. Her legs become tighter because despite how much she feels as if she hates her husband, she loves him just the same.

He lays her down on the bed and she quickly discards her shirt while he grabs at her underwear ripping them off quickly. He pulls away from her and he rids himself of his shirt while Alma works to unbuckle his belt buckle. Jax pushes her hands away. He scoots to the end of the bed and his hands grip her thighs as he moves her with him to the edge of the bed.

His fingertips graze her thighs as they trail past her stomach to her breasts. Their eyes lock on each other as his fingers circle her nipples. He pinches them and tugs causing her stomach to clench. He leans forward and captures her nipples in her mouth and her hands come up into his hair for support. His tongue worked on her nipples making them hard to the point it stung a bit. Alma bucks her hips up for some type of relief before he pulls away. He brings his fingers up to her mouth and Alma immediately opens up and takes his fingers. She moans as she coats them before he tugs them out of her mouth and trails down between her legs. His fingers ghosted over her center in a teasing manner as he moved up and down her and circled her opening before he moved his attention to her clit.

"Fuck," she moans out as it catches her by surprise.

"Let me hear you," Jax tells her as he applies more pressure and sinks his middle finger inside her.

Alma can feel the clenching in her abdomen as her toes begin to curl as he massages her clit with his thumb while fingering her.

"Come for me, darlin'," Jax demands.

Alma's body clenched as she felt her fire ignite her body. Her thighs tremble from her orgasm and she is still coming down from her high when she feels him lick a long stripe up her folds.

"Jax!" Her hips buck up as her grip on his hair tightens. It was almost painful as he traced a pattern against her clit. His fingers dug into her thighs and Alma knows there might be bruises tomorrow morning. She was caught off guard when Jax sucked on her clit and nibbled it and it triggered a second release.

She screamed when she felt Jax slam into her and her walls clamped down hard around him. He didn't give her a moment of reprieve as he started to thrust slowly, but deeply in and out of her.

"Shit...Jax," Alma moans out as she tightens her legs around him. Her hands moving from his hair to his shoulders.

Jax moves one of her legs so it rests on top of his shoulder. Alma moves her arms so that she clenches the bedsheets.

Alma cries out from the change in position. "Jax...I -"

"Give me one more, Alma," Jax demands.

Alma opens her mouth, but no sounds come out as her mind goes blank.

"Fuck!" Jax roars as he chases his releases.

She can feel warm spurts coating her walls. She comes down from her high she is well aware of the mess between her thighs that have leaked to the sheets. She hisses as Jax pulls out from her.

"Fuck, babe," Jax whispers.

Alma somehow manages to look down. Her thighs are still twitching as she watches Jax's fingers ghost over her thighs. She whimpers as she feels Jax push his fingers back into her and keep his release there.

Her mind is foggy still and she almost misses the words he says that clears any ounce of peace and relaxation she has.

"I want another baby."

.

.

Jax thinks he would prefer to be in a standoff with the Mayans than standing directly across from his mother in law. Ana always had a way of getting under his skin. Not only his, but everyone around her. He dreads even letting his kids be near the devil in disguise.

However, coming back from lockup, the last thing he wants to deal with her in his kitchen staring him down. Maybe Alma could have given him a better warning than waking him up to inform him that her mom was there before she dashed off to fucking somewhere. Considering how he ambushed her last night, her mother was probably the last thing on her mind.

He doesn't know how Chico dealt with Ana for how long as he did. Of course, Ana is a beautiful woman despite the shitty personality. Alma gets her looks from her mother because if how Ana is aging is any indication of how Alma is, he is going to be a very lucky man.

Yet, as he stirs his coffee, Ana has been glaring at him since he walked into the kitchen while she drank her own cup while pretending to read the newspaper.

Jax runs his hand down his face. "Is there a problem?"

"Your face looks like it hurts." She replies as she places the newspaper down.

"Your concern touches me." Jax mocks.

"One day Alma will wake up."

"Ana, I really don't feel like dealing with this shit."

"Do you really think I care?" Ana retorts.

"Actually, no I don't. I don't' think you care much about anything except for what guy is gonna write you a check."

Ana laughs. "Do you think those words hurt me?" She flicks her hair over her shoulders. "They don't. Nothing your mom or you can say will cause me to lose any sleep at night. In fact, you just wasted your breath." Ana stands up and folds her newspaper. "Alma was young - is young. The betrayal of what you did...that will never fade. Fucking her and trying to get her pregnant isn't going to keep her here."

Jax shakes his head. "I'm not doing this."

Ana snorts. "Of course you don't. I'm not putting you on a pedestal."

.

.

.

Jax is glad that their house is big enough where he can hide and not come into contact with Ana. Although, he is sure she left the house shortly after their "talk". So he has been mostly left to his own devices. He at first was gonna head to the club as the last place he wanted to be was his house. However, he wasn't going to run away from his problems. He wasn't going to play right into Ana's hands. He knows her favorite thing to do is playing mind games with people. He might have fallen into that trap.

So he decided to work out and try to burn off that anger because at the end of the day, whatever is going on between him and Alma is between him and Alma.

He did a brutal workout that left his arms feeling like noodles. He walked into the kitchen to refill his bottle of water before jumping into the shower when the front door opened. He is silent as Alma comes in carrying some grocery bags no doubt filled with more party supplies for Kaylee.

"Hey," Alma greets with a bright smile.

"What the fuck are you telling your mother?"

Alma's smile deems immediately. "What?"

"She seemed to have a lot to say about the state of our marriage."

"She always has something to say Jax." Alma replies as she begins to put away the groceries. "I'm surprised you would even listen to her."

"Well it seems that I have to listen when my wife isn't talking to me."

"Talk?" Alma sputters in disbelief. "Since when in the fuck do you even want to talk?"

Jax and Alma stare at each other before Alma is the first one to break away by shaking her head.

They don't speak to each other for the rest of the day.

.

.

Alma smiles as she watches the group of kids running around in her backyard. The turn up of kids was quite surprising. Most of the kids are from Nathan's class who have younger siblings that are closer to Kaylee's age. Considering that Kaylee hadn't been in daycare, the only friends she has managed to make were from the many hours they clocked in at the playground.

However, Alma is aware that most of these parents are just curious as how the Tellers are living.

With the flurry of activity, it has led her to keep her distance with Jax. They have a semi united front. She just has been keeping her distance. This day is about Kaylee turning 5. Her baby is getting older and there doesn't need to be any drama.

Alma picks up some trash and throws it in one of the garbage bins before heading back into the house to get the birthday cake. She knows Kaylee is itching to open some of her many birthday gifts.

Alma heads into the house and begins gathering the materials she needs. She is grabbing the candles and the lighter when the backdoor opens. She looks up and she is surprised to see Gemma is the one to walk through the door.

Gemma has been the main person keeping the kids all together and making sure nothing can ruin her granddaughter's day.

"You better be careful with Tristian and Nathan out there."

Alma laughs. "He has a crush. Let him be."

Gemma snorts. "I'm pretty sure he is already planning their engagement."

"I bet Karen would love that." Alma tells her. "I'm sure Clay would really love that."

Gemma snorts. "So I do want to know what your mom and Jax said to each other for them to act like they don't exist?"

"Honestly, I am not all that sure what my mom said." Alma reveals truthfully. "But I know best not to get in between that."

"Still, it must be alot on you."

"Mom only visits a few times a year and afterwards I treat myself to a nice spa day." Alma jokes.

"You know...your dad would be proud of who you've become. It's a shame he isn't here."

Alma nods her head. Alma never knows what to say when it comes to comments about her dad. She loves him and the few memories she can remember. She knows he was trying his best to be a good father. She also knows that it didn't erase his faults as a man involved in an outlaw club or the fact he treated her mother like shit. She knows there are things she doesn't know about her parents' relationship. She knows at one point they had loved each other. Yet, her dad had broken something in her mom to turn her into the person her mom has become.

Besides, Alma thinks if her dad was alive he wouldn't approve of her relationship with Jax.

She knows if her father was alive, the path her life has taken wouldn't be the same.

"I wish the kids would have been able to meet him."

Gemma goes to answer, but the doorbell goes off. Alma leaves the kitchen and heads to the front door. She checks the side window and frowns at the sight of David Hale. She opens the door with a confused smile.

"I don't remember sending you an invitation." She jokes.

David gives a sad smile. "Sorry to interrupt, but I thought you guys should hear this from me."

"Al, who's at the door?" Gemma asks as she walks into the hallway.

"Hi, Gemma," David says as he walks into the house a bit. "You should sit down for this."

"What's going on?" Gemma demands. She doesn't move to sit. She just stares David down.

David sighs as he focuses on Gemma. "We just found Luann Delaney off county 18. Beaten to death. There's no other details right now. I'm sorry."

Gemma is frozen and Alma doesn't have any words.

At that moment, there is laughter coming from the kitchen. Alma recognizes them as Jax's.

"Alma?" Jax calls out.

"Excuse me," Alma tells David and Gemma before she walks back into the kitchen. Jax has a birthday hat on and he is admiring the birthday cake on the table.

Jax looks up at her and his smile fades. "What's wrong?"

Alma takes a shaky breath. "Luann was killed."

.

.

Alma never had to plan a funeral before. Luckily it seemed Luann had her wishes already laid out. Based on the dates on some of the paperwork, it seemed she had been prepared since Otto got locked up. Luann already had the plot, casket, and gravestone picked out for both her and Otto.

Somehow they were able to get through the party and didn't say anything until the guests left. Alma didn't engage in the conversation. She took care of getting the kids ready for bed. She really couldn't find anything to say about this. The only thing she does know is that Luann was having trouble with another porn producer, but she really doesn't want to think about porn scabbles would really lead to murder.

Her heart just went out to Otto. She knows most likely that he won't be able to even attend his wife's own funeral. And to lose her in such a violent way, she can't imagine that pain.

Alma just knows that now she has to get in touch with a lot of people in the adult entertainment industry to set up some type of memorial for Luann. She thinks she'll asks a few of the girls to help with that.

Alma buries her head in her hands and resists the urge to cry. Luann had always done so much for her and looked out for her. Luann was the only old lady that ever reminded Alma that she needs to come first before her old man.

The sound of her doorbell going off causes her to jump. She wipes her face in case any renegade tears managed to slip before answering the door. She is surprised to find Unser standing on the other side.

"Sheriff?"

He gives her a small smile. "Hey, Alma, sorry to come over unannounced. I'm looking for Jax."

"He is visiting Otto. Don't when he is going to be back. What's going on?"

Unser sighs and she can see the internal debate of wanting to tell her. "Couple of the girls were busted in a prostitution sting. One mentioned Jax was their boss."

"Fucking great," Alma mutters.

.

.

.

Jax thinks telling Otto that Luann was murdered and he believed his actions led up to it was one of the hardest things he has ever done. It is easily the worst and he can't even imagine the pain his brother is in. His brother entrusted him and the club to protect Luann. To take care of her since he couldn't. He sacrificed years with Luann for the club and the club couldn't keep their end of the bargain.

Jax parks his bike in his driveway. He had plans to go to the club and get a rundown of what they had planned for the day, but right now he doesn't want to be near his brothers. He just wants his family. But he knows the kids are with his mom and Alma was at the house setting up Luann's funeral.

He enters the house through the side door that leads into the kitchen from the laundry room. He finds Alma standing by the stove and it seems she is making some tea. She was never one to really drink coffee.

She looks up at him and gives him a sad smile. "How was Otto?"

"Broken." He tells her simply as he leans against the counter opposite.

Alma folds her arms across her chest. "Are they going to let him go to the funeral?"

"He said probably not as he and the Warden are in a pissing contest."

Alma kisses her teeth and he moves to get closer to him, but she turns around causing him to frown.

"Unser stopped by." She informs him.

"Yeah?"

"Apparently a couple girls were busted for prostition."

Jax rolls his eyes. He almost growled in frustration. "You gotta be shitting me."

"Named you boss. Unser said he would be at the station."

"Jesus Christ."

"This isn't going to mess with your charges is it?" Alma asks softly.

"I don't know. It's not like they have any proof."

"They work at Cara Cara, Jax. You are now practically the owner. It is not going to take long to connect those dots." Alma points out. "Have you even thought about what it means for you to be possibly going to jail, Jax?"

"Are we really going to have this talk now?" He questions her. Jax thinks this is the last thing they need to be worrying about. He doesn't even have a court date yet. They can worry about logistics later.

"No, I guess not."

The teapot screams.

.

.

Jax is tried. He is exhausted. It took them forever to find leverage for the judge so he would drop the case against the Chinese's contact. It's early in the morning - very early. The kids will still be sleeping, but as he walks through the door he can hear Alma in the kitchen getting breakfast ready.

He knows he should immediately make the move to shower and wash off the day. Instead he walks into the kitchen and sits at the breakfast island. Alma's eyes flicker over to him. From the profile, he can tell his wife is tired.

He has noticed the dark spots under her eyes have been increasing since Luann's death. He didn't realize Luann was teaching her about business. Alma has been handling a lot of Cara Cara's paperwork with Bobby as they figure out where to go next in leadership to oversee Cara Cara. Jax is proud of his wife and he realizes he hasn't said it or even showed her.

Yet, he has found his wife has gone out of her way to never be alone with him. She uses the kids as a buffer and when he comes home to go to bed she is already asleep. She also keeps her distance at Cara Cara.

He is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn't realize she made him a cup of coffee until it is sliding in front of him.

"Thanks, darlin'." He tells her.

She smiles as she goes back to what he realizes is cutting up some fruit. He can see that she has taken out bacon and sausage and she has supplies to make French Toast.

"How long you've been up?" He asks her.

"About 30 minutes."

"You need some help?"

That causes her to look up at him confused. "I'm good, Jax."

"Babe…"

Alma sighs. "I don't want to do this right now."

"We need to talk."

Alma looks at him and he can tell she wants to say more, but she doesn't.

"I'm lost here, Alma." Jax tells her the truth. He doesn't know how to fix anything between them. He doesn't know how to go back to where they were. "I'm trying to put it back together, but... I don't know if I can."

Things with Clay are shit and the club can't see fucking straight with how hard ZObelle is coming at him. At the end of the day, all he wants is his wife.

Maybe it's pity, or she believes him as she looks him directly in the eyes. "I know."

He can feel the tears building. His throat is getting thick with emotions. "I just feel so far away from you now." He reveals. "I know that's my fault." He admits and takes the blame. "Please, just tell me, how do I get back?"

Alma closes her eyes and she turns her head from him. She shakes her head. "I don't know if you can."

Jax can feel his heart breaking. He can feel this is the end of his marriage. "Babe... please let me back in." He begs.

Alma opens her mouth, but the phone cuts her off.

"Ignore it."

She doesn't listen as she goes to the landline. Her back is turned, but he notices she becomes tenser than before. He becomes confused when she ends the call mentioning Hale's name.

"What is it?"

"There was a fire at Cara Cara."

.

.

"This is a lovely house." Stahl tells Alma as they wait for Jax to arrive. Coming back from the grocery store with the kids, the last thing Alma expected was for Agent Stahl to be on her doorstep. Alma had quickly told the kids to play outside while Alma told Jax he needed to come home immediately. So now she is entertaining the ATF agent who is making herself comfortable on her couch.

"Thanks," Alma says briskly as she darts her eyes between Stahl and her kids.

"I'm also sorry to hear about Luann."

"No, you're not." Alma fires back. "If you were you would be looking for her killer."

"Unfortunately, my area of criteria is alcohol, firearms, and tobacco."

"Convenient, so why are you on my doorstep." Alma fire back.

"You're not like Gemma, are you?" Stahl muses. "I mean with the few meetings of your mother, you seem to take after her."

Alma rolls her eyes. "I'm sure you and my mother got along great."

"DIdn't have nice things to say about your father or your husband."

"Tell me something I already don't know."

Stahl's eyes light up in glee, but before she can say anything Jax is walking into the house.

"What's up? Text was vague." He asks before he spots Stahl. His jaw instantly hardens. "You got a warrant?"

"You see me searching?"

"I got nothing to say to you." Jax fires back before turning to Alma. "Where's the kids?"

"In the backyard."

"Look at you two." Stahl coos. "Ozzy and Harriet."

"Shut up." Alma snaps.

"Get out, now." Jax orders the federal agent.

Stahl's smile is sickening. "I was just curious, Jax. I just wanted to know why you were leaving SAMCRO."

That causes Alma's head to snap towards her husband. She can't hide the shock at that news.

Jax looks guilty as he looks down at Alma. "Give me a minute?"

Alma doesn't argue as she goes outside with the kids. Jax doesn't hide his wince as she slams the door.

"I'm sorry, I thought old ladies were privy. Has she got issues with the extracurricular?" Stahl says mockingly.

"Just say it."

"Same pitch. The Irish screwed you, so you screw them back. More importantly, you screw Ethan Zobelle. You even the score, you protect the MC."

"Same response. I don't rat." Jax replies.

"Sons are living in grace, sweetheart. You're not my target now. But if you don't help me, I will come after you." Stahl threatens.

"You know with Alma doing nails...does she have permit to practice? I'm curious on how a mechanic and nail technician can afford such a house especially with Kaylee's medical bills."

"You're so full of shit."

Stahl smiles. "It was nice talking to you Jax."

Jax doesn't leave his spot until he watches Stahl leave his house. He sighs and knows he is about to be in a world of shit. He moves to the sliding door and finds Alma sitting on one of the lounge couches watching the kids get dirty in the sand box.

Jax's feet have barely touched the deck when Alma speaks.

"What was she talking about?"

Jax slides the door closed and he sits next to his wife despite knowing he could be for some bodily danger. "I'm joining the nomad charter of the Sons."

"Did you conveniently forget you have two kids at home. You can't be heading up fucking north for church every week, Jax." Alma thinks she can throttle her husband. She wants to. She wants to scream, cry, and maybe get a few slaps out of him.

"I got to do this. I need space between me and Clay."

"Why?"

"I just need to do this." Jax tells her. He doesn't even know if he can explain how since his mom's car accident things have been different. The stress of Zobelle is eating at all of them. He knows it's best to take some space.

"I ride independently for a few years and wait for him to step down." He adds.

"A few years?" Alma scoffs. "We've barely made it through the last few months. You made this decision without me."

"Well what else am I supposed to do when you won't fucking talk to me."

"Do not put you going Nomad on me!" Alma hisses. "You don't tell me shit. You haven't since you came back...since Ben…" Alma gets choked up. Jax licks his lips because he is not even sure what he wants to say. Alma takes a breath. "I can't do this anymore."

Jax's brows furrow. "What?"

"I can't." Alma tells him as she stands up and moves to head back in the house.

"Al, wait," Jax tries to grab her hand, but she pulls away quickly leaving him all alone outside.

.

.

With a clubhouse full of visiting members and family, the kids are occupied and cared for. Alma decides to take a breather and walks down to Jax's dorm room where they are staying until things with Zobelle are handled.

A Lot has happened the last few days, which have been overwhelming. Alma isn't even sure how to digest a lot of what was told to her. The first truth to be revealed was the Gemma's car accident was in reality a rape. She was raped by a man name Weston, who happened to be Zobelle's right hand man. Gemma's attack was orchestrated by Zobelle along with the club being sent to prison, the burning of Cara Cara, and recent issues with the Irish. With that, the tension of Gemma's trauma and her relationship with Clay being affected led to Clay making decisions in the club that rubbed Jax wrong. It was the cause of the tension that made Jax want to go Nomad. Although none of that changed, her marriage and it's strain could be easily explained and fixed. Now the club is on lockdown as they have formed a plan to deal with Zobelle.

Alma walks out of the bathroom and is startled to find Jax sitting on the edge of the bed. He gives her a tight smile. The thing with Alma is she knows how to be an old lady. She knows where to play the part so no cracks can be seen. She knows that leads to a lot of false comfort mostly to Jax.

Her instinct is to stay standing by the desk but she moves over to the bed and sits on the edge.

"Everything okay?" She asks quietly.

Jax nods his head. "I love you, Alma. I know since I came home I haven't done my best to show you. I have to live with that consequence. When this is done...if you need me out the house. If you want to take the kids away for a bit, I'll do what you want me to."

Alma isn't sure how to respond. She isn't exactly sure what she wants. If anything in these past few months she has learned her life revolves around Jax. She isn't sure of who she is outside of her marriage.

"Do you want a divorce?" Jax asks her quietly.

"You know I would never keep the kids from you Jax." Alma promises. Despite the mistakes and hurt she and Jax make in their relationship that would be put aside for the sake of their children.

"No matter what, I'll always take care of you, Al." Jax promises and she knows he means it.

"Jax…" Alma isn't sure what to say and she doesn't know if it's a good or bad thing.

Jax stands up from the bed and moves to stand in front of her. His smile is sad and he bends down and places a kiss on her forehead. He walks away and out of the room and Alma tries to muffle the sobs that escape her throat.

.

.

.

Jax and the club are outside of a small deli as they watch Zobelle. Tig is working on getting people to leave the premises as quick as they can. They can't enact revenge with women, children, and innocents around.

Jax can feel the burning in his veins to get vengeance for his mother. Sure, killing Weston felt good. A weight lifted from his shoulders a bit, but the main objective is Zobelle. He is the mastermind behind everything.

After he handles this, he can work on his marriage. He can do everything he can to focus on mending his relationship with Alma. He hopes they can find their way back to each other. He can be a better husband, father, and man. He is pacing in front of the store, his eyes covered by his sunglasses when he feels his phone vibrating.

He looks at the ID and sees it's Alma.

She knows what today means and wouldn't be calling unless it was an emergency. He answers the phone and doesn't like the feeling that settles in his gut.

He can hear crying, screaming, and he swears an ambulance.

"Al, what's wrong?" He asks over the chaos on the end of her line.

Her broken sobs reach his ears. The phone falls out of his hand and Jax thinks he fell to his knees and maybe almost toppled his bike before the guys intervened.

"What is it?" Clay barks at him.

Jax is in a daze. Zobelle is forgotten as he gets to his bike. He has to get to St. Thomas.

"Kay...Kaylee's…" Jax can't finish the sentence. He doesn't even want to have it escape his lips. "I gotta go to St. Thomas."


	5. Widening Gyre

There are just some things no one can prepare you for. There are things Alma knows she will never recover from. She had already buried one child. She doesn't know if her own heart could even manage to bury her second child.

Her precious baby girl was no longer here. Despite all the doctor visits, the medication, and vigilant watch over her baby girl's heart, it wasn't enough. Her baby girl was only five years old. She had a future. She had a life in front of her.

Alma didn't even know how she was going to be able to grieve. She didn't know what the grieving process meant for her along with her family. She had to comfort her son. She didn't know how to do that, but she tried by letting him cry in her arms. Holding him tight in her arms as she put him to bed holding one of Kaylee's favorite stuffed animals.

She knew it was going to be a slow process in healing, but when she thought of her husband, she wasn't sure if there was anything she could do.

Words have barely been exchanged between the two. She was surprised they were able to even pull it together to even have a funeral.

Jax has spent the past couple weeks locked inside of Kaylee's room with weed and alcohol as therapy. He just drinks and smokes. He keeps himself in that room and doesn't leave. He only removes himself off the floor to piss and maybe head into the kitchen for something to stomach. Although his meager meals do nothing to absorb the alcohol he is poisoning himself with.

Alma isn't sure what would be the best method to approach. She isn't sure if she even wants to. She knows she is not strong enough to shoulder his grief along with hers. She already went through Ben's death alone, she had come to terms she would have to navigate the stages of grief for Kaylee alone.

She has made a schedule for herself. She gets up, showers, and tends to every single one of Nathan's needs. It's the best she can do. Worse, her baby boy had turned 7 and he had denied wanting even a cake for his birthday. She stopped looking at her phone. She unplugged the landline and stopped answering the door. She can't deal with the pity or other's nosiness.

Alma lingers at Kaylee's bedroom. She only meant to take a peek at the cold room. Everything has been left untouched since her passing. She finds her husband sitting up against the dresser as he looks ahead of him in a daze. He slowly brings a blunt to his lips. He inhales and exhales. She wants to scream at him that he is only tainting their daughter's room. They will no longer be able to smell the chamomile with a tinge of lavender that settles in the room due to Kaylee's favorite body wash products.

She bites her tongue. She doesn't want to start an argument. She doesn't want to say things in anger that neither will be able to take back. The only reason she moves from the door is because the alarm signals that someone has opened the front door.

Alma moves down the hallway and finds her mom stepping through the door with grocery bags.

Ann has been staying in Charming since Kaylee's passing. She is not exactly sure where her mother is staying, but she is grateful that her mom isn't inserting herself in the house. However, Alma has a feeling her mom is at her wits end from the radio silence. After all, despite how much Alma wants to curl in bed and shut out the world, she has Nathan to think about. He still needs at least one of his parents.

Her mom looks up at her with a grim smile. "I brought you guys some food."

Alma nods as she meets her the rest of the way. Alma notices her mom has forgone the expensive jewelry and makeup. Her face is bare and she is in a simple suede pink sweatsuit. A pair of white Adidas adore her feet.

Alma is silent as she puts away the phone. She knows her mom is surprised that the house isn't a mess. Or the downstairs isn't at least. In grief, every member of the house has been confined into a bedroom. Alma spends most of her time with Nathan in his room while Jax is in Kaylee's.

"Maybe you guys should come North with me. Get out of Charming for a bit." Ann hesitantly suggests.

"It's not going to change anything." Alma replies. Kaylee would still be gone when they returned. Her baby girl would still be dead.

"Tell me how I can help you, baby," her mother pleads.

"I don't think you can. Not with this." Alma tells her. She doesn't even know how to pick up the pieces for some type of living.

"You need to talk to someone. Losing Ben and now Kaylee…" her mother trails off before approaching her like a wounded animal. Her mom's hands cup her cheeks forcing her to look at her. "You can't be Wonder Woman all the time. You need a break. You can't forget yourself in all this." Her mom steps back and gives her some space. "I'll stay for a bit. Cook, clean up whatever. Just take a nap. Soak in the tub."

Alma inhales deeply and blows the hot air out. "Okay. Thanks, mom."

.

.

.

Ann waited until she heard the tub began draining and about 30 minutes after the master bedroom door shut before she went to complete her mission.

She had begun cleaning up the little dust that accumulated in the past week downstairs. She checked on Nathan, who had just woken up from a nap, fed him a sandwich with some chips, before he told her that he just wanted to draw in his room. Ann pressed a kiss to her grandson's head and let him be.

It was clear her grandson was trying to be strong. She admired her grandson, her only grandchild still living. That hurts. Knowing that she has outlived two children who didn't even make it past the age of 5.

She can't imagine the pain her daughter is feeling. She doesn't even know how to help her daughter cope with this loss. She can barely linger on that grief before it makes her breakdown. Right now, she can't do that. She needs to shoulder some of this pain for her daughter as her worthless son in law isn't doing shit.

She had walked past Kaylee's room and was hit with the smell of weed. She risked a glance inside and any grief was quickly replaced with anger.

She could understand his anger with Ben. He was not here to help or to be there to grieve with his family. Ann knows that grief can make people selfish, but she expected better of the man her daughter married. Yet, she doesn't know how she could forget how selfish these men were. She experienced the club's selfishness first hand.

So she had waited. She wanted her daughter to be asleep before she took matters in her own hands. It wasn't as if she went out of her way to purposely antagonize Jax. It was just she wasn't going to blindly stand on the sidelines and watch him treat her daughter with disrespect. She didn't want Alma to go through what she went through with Chico. It is a shame that Ann could overlook the ways that the men made money. After all, it had her and Alma living comfortably. Yet, the women and the control issues Chico had...Ann couldn't suffer through the emotional and mental abuse anymore.

For a time, she thought she could overlook the other women. She did, but Chico could never be quiet about it. He constantly threw it in her face he would be with croweaters in Charming, not just on runs. The worst betrayal was only finding out that Chico only tolerated her because of Alma. She was simply a good lay at the time. A consistent lay that got pregnant. In this world, she was shown how disposable women are to these men. She just couldn't understand how everyone was pissed at her for wanting to divorce Chico when he had been embarrassing her for years.

Maybe it is wrong of her to project those feelings onto Jax. However, it had been an open secret he was fucking around on her daughter when he got released. He did it right in front of her. Ann knows that the reason her daughter was staying was for the kids and the unfortunate circumstance of Jax being the one to provide financial security. She was only able not to get some more independence due to Luann, but unfortunately that was ripped away before it could fully develop.

Ann steps into the room where her son in law is shirtless and glad in some basketball shorts. The room smells like a distrilley and a hide out for skunks.

"Un-fucking-believable." Ann mutters as she steps forward. She stands in his line of step and he doesn't even blink, but stares blankly. "Get up."

He doesn't move or even flinch.

She bends down to look him directly in the eye. "Get the fuck up. You smell like shit and you're tainting your daughter's room with this shit."

"Fuck you." He whispers hoarsely.

"Get up," she sneers in disgust and his reflexes are too slow as she grabs the bottle of Jack and the ashtray on the floor with the burning joint. She moves quickly and Jax falls to his side as she runs out the room.

She makes it to the closest bathroom where she immediately slams the door with Jax hot on her tail.

She instantly pours the bottle down the drain. She jumps when Jax pounds on the door.

"Opening this fucking door!" He screams.

"Calm the fuck down and take a shower. You smell like shit." Ann replies back. The pounding continues and she winces as she hears a crack. "Jax, you're going to break the fucking door!"

"Well fucking open it!" He shouts.

Ann flushes the blunt down the toilet along with the ashes. She places the ceramic tray next to the empty bottle of whiskey. She swings the door open to meet the glare of her son in law.

"What the fuck are you even doing here?" He seethes as he enters the bathroom.

"Taking care of your family since you are incapable of doing shit that doesn't revolve around you." Ann bites.

Jax's body goes tense. He stands down in front of her, his lips set in snarl. "This is not the time for your bullshit."

"No, it's not time for your bullshit!" She snaps back. "You have a fucking wife and son that need you. Stop being so goddamn selfish! Your father would fucking disgusted with the sight of you right now."

This time Ann knows she snapped something in Jax as she even realizes a startled yelp when he smashes the glass bottle against the wall.

"Jax?"

Both she and Jax are still at the sound of Alma's voice at the end of the hall. Ann hurries out of the bathroom.

"You need to fucking get out of here," she tells her daughter.

.

.

.

Jax sits down against the tombstone next to the disturbed dirt next to it. It's too early for Kaylee's tombstone yet. Benjamin's is an upright monument with columns with red granite. They decided to get Kaylee a matching one with an angel.

And only a few rows away lies Jax's own brother, Thomas, and his father.

This is only the second time Jax has been to the cemetery. He hadn't never ventured to see Ben's grave until Kaylee's funeral. It didn't seem real. He felt he could ignore that loss. He could push it aside. He never allowed himself to feel it until it was too late - too much.

He has lost his little girl. His baby girl. The light in his life. She's gone. He has lost two children due to his fucking family flaw.

He bows his head as he finally lets the past months catch up to him. His body shudders as everything hits him. He doesn't even care that he is in public at this point. He just wants the pain to go away. He just wants his world to go back to the way it was.

He wants his children alive. He wants to be able to go home to his wife and not feel like a failure. He isn't even sure how to help his family anymore. He knows they don't need him. Alma hasn't even spoken to him after his episode with her mother and even then he isn't even too sure what the last conversation they had was between each other. All he knows is she steers clear of him.

Nathan hasn't come to him for comfort at all. His boy is usually wrapped up in his mother's arms and he can hear him crying for Kaylee in her arms. He feels useless in his own house. He could go to the clubhouse, but he doesn't want to be coddled by his mother or even by his brothers. He just wants the pain to stop. He wants everything to stop hurting, but he knows that it won't happen for a while. In fact, he knows this pain will never go away. He will have to learn how to carry it. He needs to learn how to manage it. He doesn't know how his mom and dad manage to deal when Tommy died. He doesn't know how they found a place to accept it. He doesn't think he can ever accept this loss without it paralyzing him.

He stands up from the grave and places a kiss on top of Ben's grave. He kneels down on the fistrubed dirt and places his hand where his little rests before moving to visit his brother and father.

He tries not to think about how half of his family is buried in the fucking cemetry.

He is making his way to his bike when he spots Piney standing by it waiting for him.

"So, how's the old man?" Piney greets.

Jax manages a small smile. "Still dead."

"You know, I hear that happens." He replies.

Jax nods his head and kicks his foot at some loose gravel. "What are you doing, cruising for widows?"

"No. Stopped by your house. Alma didn't know where you were. Figure this would be the next stop." Piney reveals. "You, uh, you want to bounce something off of me? I mean, I'm not as smart as J.T., but I've been known to have my moments."

Jax stands a little taller. "I'm good."

Piney frowns at him. "Jax... we don't, uh, we don't have shrinks or priests. You don't want to talk to me, that's fine. But you gonna talk to somebody in this club and work this shit out?"

Jax releases a shaky breath. "I lost two of my kids Piney. I don't think I can even find a direction to go in. I just end up in a place I never even knew could be this bad." Jax doesn't know how to even be a man with his grief. He can't look at Alma without feeling as if he failed her and their children. Jax wipes away the tears that have begun to leak out of his eyes. "I don't think we can come back from this, Piney."

Maybe Jax thinks is what is eating him up the most. He knows his marriage is slowly reaching it's expiration date. They barely survived losing one child. Hell, they were barely communicating and only just addressed that their relationship wasn't the same and then they lost Kaylee. Most marriages barely manage surviving the loss of one child, but they lost two.

Jax knows the demise of his marriage is solely on him. He was the first one to break away. He weakened the foundation. He also knows he has answer for his episode with Ann in the bathroom, but she never knew when to stop fucking pushing. It wasn't an excuse, but she could never let things be.

Piney grips his shoulders. "Hey, Alma loves you, Jax. You just need to talk to her. She'll understand. You both can work through this."

Jax shakes his head. He doesn't think love alone is enough to fix the space that has come between him and his wife. "I don't think talking can fix it this time, Piney."

.

.

He feels like a stranger in his own home. He was unsure if he was even welcomed in the bedroom. It's not like Jax is expecting any form of sexual intimacy, but at least physical. Alma has closed herself off from him. He knew it would be a bad move to even try to wrap her in his arms. So he stayed rooted on his side of the bed and laid on his back.

He thinks he may have even slept with his eyes open. He doesn't feel well rested. He blinks what little sleep he got from his eyes as he realizes the sound of Alma cleaning is what woke him. She seemed to have already taken a shower as her hair was leaving wet spots on her white t-shirt. She is throwing his clothes he had recklessly discarded into a basket while tidying up things around the room.

"Al…" he says unsure.

She looks up at him and holds the hamper against her hip. She doesn't say anything, but looks at him expectedly.

He sits up in the bed and licks his lips. "We need to talk."

"About what?"

"Alma, please…"

"So what, when _you_ want to talk I have to listen?" She fires back.

"That's not...I didn't mean...we lost our daughter, Alma, how in the fuck is any parent supposed to react."

"Maybe not by drowning in weed or booze, or about tending to your son and wife. How about we grieve together!" Alma snaps.

"How when we can barely be in the same room together, Alma. You act like you want nothing to do with me. I can't turn to you. You don't want me."

"You pushed me away first." Alma states. "With Ben...you weren't here...I didn't hold it against you. I couldn't and even with how you...grieved...I pushed aside the hurt and humiliation you put me through. But I'm not going to be your fucking doormat."

Jax is at a loss for words. He doesn't know what to even say in fear of pushing Alma away. He knows sorry isn't enough at this point. He isn't stupid enough to not know where this anger is coming from. He moves to sit on the edge of the bed.

"Alma please…"

Alma looks away from him. He can tell there are things she wants to say. He wants her to say it even if it makes him scared, or things he doesn't want to hear.

Her shoulders drop and she looks at him with a blank expression. "We need to focus on Nathan, Jax."

He wants to ask what the fuck does that even mean. He wants to say a lot of things, but he bites his tongue.

"I love you, Alma."

Her blank expression cracks a little. She clears her throat. "I know."

She walks out of the bedroom.

Jax grabs the lamp on the stand next to the bed and throws it across the room.

.

.

Alma is standing near the door of the office of the garage as she watched Nathan and Jax exchange goodbyes. The boys are going on a run to Eureka for a blood drive. Alma also thinks it is a semi celebratory run that with Zobelle leaving without a trace the case against them was dropped even with the weapon charges. It seemed with Zobelle being a known rat could have something to help with that.

Alma does notice the goodbye between her boys is stunted and stiff. More so from Nathan and it reminds her that her son is very aware of the shift happening inside the house. It is the last thing she wants. Despite whatever is going on between her and Jax, she does not want that to leak down into his relationship with his son.

Still it doesn't change that Nathan witnessed how Jax did grieve alone while Nathan found comfort in her arms. And Nathan shouldn't have that choice of having to settle for the other parents because the other one was too deep in their own grief.

Alma feels a presence behind her and she knows its Gemma. Surprisingly, the biker matriarch's helicopter parenting had taken a step back. She thinks it is because Gemma knows what it is like to lose a child that it is best not to impose, but even then Gemma never lost two children in the span of a year.

She does appreciate the space.

Gemma wraps her arms around her shoulder. She thinks maybe Gemma is thinking the same thing as her that Jax shouldn't be on this run. Alma has a feeling about what is going to happen on this run. She knows since she rejected Jax in trying to communicate that she was the one to push him away this time. He will probably justify any action he makes.

Her breath catches in her throat and she feels as if she is being suffocated. She escapes Gemma's hold and rushes into the bathroom in the garage. She slams the door shut and leans against it. She feels as if she is having a panic attack.

She knows her marriage is over.

Her marriage is over.

.

.

.

Jax sighs at the burn of the whiskey traveling down his throat. He really didn't care for the run to Eureka. It was simple, but nothing he was itching to do. However, being on the road reminded him how much he loved riding. He still had a refuge. He thinks maybe when they get back that a nice long ride will do him some good to clear his head. He doesn't know why he didn't think of taking a ride by himself before. Maybe a roundabout would do him some good. He and Alma could get some space and clarity and figure out how to move forward with their relationship.

Jax leans back in his chair. He lights a cigarette and blows a ring of smoke. He smiles at a few croweaters before his attention is taken by his stepfather. Clay looks at him with furrowed brows, his eyes hidden behind his dark sunglasses.

Jax raises an eyebrow at his President. "Can I help you?"

"I want to know what the fuck you're doing," Clay says lowly.

"Trying to enjoy the party," Jax replies as he takes another sip from his whiskey.

"You know what I mean," Clay answers.

Jax thinks his mom has put Clay up to this. Clay never intervenes on what he deems to be family business. Only when it interferes with club business will Clay open his mouth. Even then, outside of the two weeks following Kaylee's funeral, Jax has been at every church meeting and any task Clay hesitantly gives him. Sure, he sometimes has a glossy look in his eyes and his hair and beard aren't trimmed as he usually keeps it, but he isn't zoning out. He isn't compromising anything within the club. "If you have something to say, just say it."

"Your mom is worried about her family." Clay reveals, which isn't surprising to Jax. "She doesn't know everything about what you did when Ben passed. But we all knew…." Clay trails off. "Probably 40, 50 patches watching us right now. We represent the past, present and future of this club. Sure, the sons are a Democratic organization, but everybody knows what happens in charming sets the tone for every charter."

Jax furrows his brows. He is confused. "And what's happening in Charming?"

"You tell me. These men behind us, they love you. They respect you and they understand your grief. But they're also wondering what you're gonna do with it."

Jax clenches his jaw. "That's my business."

"No, it isn't. Some of these guys are old enough to remember what happened to your old man. How he... fell apart, lost focus when Thomas died."

"Yeah, well, I'm not my old man."

"I know that, but they don't. You gotta show 'em something."

"Show them fucking what?" Jax snaps. "I lost my son and daughter that has fuck all to do with the club."

"How you treat your family is," Clay fires back. "Don't forget Alma is a daughter of a First 9. Some won't take kindly how you're treating her."

"You got to be fucking kidding me." Now people want to care about Alma's lineage. Now they want to care about how members cash in on the run protocol. No one has no problem with Clay indulging knowing he is with his mother. "My marriage isn't club business."

"If people see you can't manage your family life they are gonna start doubting how you can effectively lead this club."

"So what, I'm supposed to wipe the tears away and be done grieving for my kids. It doesn't work like that."

Clay looks at him silently. "You need to make a decision son. You fix things with Alma. Get your head on fucking straight, or you let that hammer drop and be done with it."

.

.

Jax laughs as Nathan does another cannonball in the pool. It is just the two of them at the house. Alma had only told him that she was going to be out for the day. He wasn't really left with a choice in the matter of watching Nathan. He decided that he would skip out going to the club and spend the day with his son.

So they had immediately changed into their swimming trunks and Jax lathered on the sunscreen on his boy. He thinks this is the first time they have hung out just one on one since Kaylee's passing. Nathan has preferred the company of Alma to him.

It hurts, but Jax knows that it is because of his doing and his own grief that his son couldn't come to him. If anything, Jax knows how to deal with the loss of a sibling. He could try and help his son with that because they will never truly be over the loss of Kaylee. They just have to make room for the hurt.

Jax jumps from his place at the edge of the pool and wades over to his son where he is heading into the deep end. Jax knows Nathan is only waddling towards that end since Alma isn't here especially without some type of floaty.

It wasn't as if Nathan was a bad swimmer. He swan pretty good, but when Alma is in mama bear mode they all know not to go against her.

He follows his son as he treads the water. He admires the changes in his son. Outside of the blue eyes, Nathan is all Alma. All he can see is Alma in the shape of his face, nose, smile, and the color of their hair. Alma will tell him that Nathan has his personality, but Nathan is Alma with their quiet demeanor and how they think and contemplate their words and actions before speaking.

"Be careful," Jax warns.

"I know how to swim," Nathan remarks.

"Well you can explain that one to your mother if she sees you without a floatie."

Nathan stills and swims over to Jax. His arms wrap around his neck. It reminds Jax of when Nathan was little and still in a diaper. Nathan loved water and would always smack his reflection and release a tirade of giggles.

Jax holds his son close. He presses a kiss to his son's head. "Everything alright?"

"Are you and Mommy happy?"

Jax wasn't prepared for that question. "What makes you ask that?"

"No one laughs anymore."

Jax's heart tightens.

Nathan continues before Jax can respond. "I know with...Kaylee...but even before that you and Mommy didn't seem happy. Mommy always seemed sad."

Jax swallows the lump in his throat. "Well when Mommy is sad...we just have to tell her we love her and give her lots of hugs and kisses, yeah."

"Are you sad, Daddy?"

"Right now, no. You make me happy. You and your mom."

Nathan furrows his brows and pouts his lips. "I want you and Mommy to be happy."

Jax hikes Nathan up a little higher so he can look his son in his eyes. "No matter what, your mom and I love you very much."

"I love you too, Daddy." Nathan replies.

.

.

Alma had been surprised when Donna reached out to have a girls day together. There has been space building between the two. This time it is coming from Alma after the loss of Kaylee. She has been isolating herself from everyone while she tries to figure out the next move in her life.

They aren't doing much either. Donna's parents have taken the kids for the day and they are at Donna's house. Donna had suggested they go to an actual spa, but Alma didn't want to deal with the looks of pity in public. They have wine and multiple colors of nail polish on the table. Alma isn't sure what is playing on TV, but her and Donna have been giggling since the third glass of wine. Alma might be staying the night if she doesn't sober up a bit.

Alma had painted her nails a very vibrant hot pink with an equally bright yellow on her toes. She is currently waiting for her toes to dry.

"So are you still doing nails at Cara Cara?" Donna asks.

Alma takes a sip of her wine. "Yea and no. I don't go to the studio, but there are some girls that still come to me. Not all of them, but most."

"You should open your own place up." Donna suggests.

Alma smiles. "I'll hire you to be the receptionist."

"You would probably pay better." Donna comments.

"Just lately, I haven't thought about it. Just been focusing on Nathan."

"You also need to focus on yourself." Donna points out. "If you don't you are going to break."

"How are things for you?" Alma asks. Opie still has years left in prison and outwardly Donna has her head held high, but she knows that is not the case. Plus, even far away, Alma knows that Opie is still a present husband. Donna may be alone, but she is not going through all of this alone.

"I have my days, ya know. I'm sure I haven't been through the worst yet."

"But you have Opie though."

Donna gives her a sad smile. "You and Jax…"

Alma gives a bitter laugh. "Watering a dead flower."

"Al…"

Alma finishes her glass of wine. She really doesn't want to cry over her husband anymore. She knows her marriage is at the end. They both are prolonging the inevitable and are making each other miserable. Although the thing is, if she and Jax separate where would she go. How would she support herself and Nathan. She can't just leave. She can't just take Nathan away from his father.

"If you need help. I'm here for you and Nathan."

"I just love him so much. I guess my mother was right about why it wouldn't last." Alma tells Donna.

"Do you think you guys can't work it out?" Donna probes.

Alma leans forward and refills her wine glass. "I think the damage has been done. I don't think it would be fair to him if I stayed."

"If you need help, I'm here." Donna promises.

.

.

Considering the exciting day in the pool, Nathan had quickly fallen asleep after his dinner and shower. It left Jax to his own devices as Alma still wasn't home. He had washed the dishes and tidied up a bit. In cleaning, he found an empty journal and for some reason began writing as he sat in the living room to wait for Alma. He had been baring his soul into this journal about everything that has happened within the past year. He was writing to Nathan, Kaylee, and Ben about his greatest achievements and failures.

Although in the back of his mind and on his paper, he couldn't divulge into his doubts about his marriage has turned out. Alma's silence all day only highlighted it more. He didn't want to bug her as it was rare she enjoyed a day to herself. He just knows if she isn't home in 30 minutes he will call her cell.

He has just placed his pen down and is flexing his hand when the front door opens. He is standing up when he hears keys hit the floor along with a "shit". He moves towards the foyer and he finds Alma struggling to take her shoes off.

"Al?"

His voice startles her and if he wasn't so concerned he would've laughed with how she fell on her ass. Although Alma is giggling enough for the both of them.

"Is Nathan up," Alma hiccups.

Jax furrows his brows. "Are you drunk?"

Alma stands on her shaky legs and Jax can't really ever think of a time Alma got drunk. She would be on the edge, but nothing to have her stumbling.

"If I am?" She counters as she brushes past him to their bedroom.

He follows her confused. "Where were you?"

She makes it to their room and begins to haphazardly throw her clothes and accessories around the room. He follows her as he picks up her clothes and puts them into the hamper. She doesn't answer him and he watches as she strips down to nothing but to her bra and underwear. He helps take off her jewelry and places them in her jewelry case.

"Who were you with?" He presses.

Alma sighs and it seems any tipiness she was feeling had disappeared. "Do you want a divorce?"

Jax freezes and a lump forms in his throat. He was not expecting that to come out of her mouth.

"Couples barely make it through losing one child. We lost two." Jax can see the tears forming in her eyes, but she doesn't bother to hide the pain she is feeling. "We both don't need to be miserable."

"Are you miserable?" He asks her.

"I don't make you happy," she answers.

.

.

.

Jax feels guilty. With all the shit going on, he has neglected his best friend. Even if Chino is a six hour ride, he had promised to do in house visits at least once a month. He hasn't in a while. He knows that Opie won't give him shit for it, but it doesn't change the fact Jax has been a shit husband and friend lately.

He embraces his friend in a tight hug.

"Fuck, man, I'm so sorry. How you've been?" Opie asks him as they pull apart.

"I don't know man. Shit is just upside down and everywhere." Jax says as they take a seat at the table.

Opie is quiet for a bit. "What do we want to tackle first?"

Jax chuckles and shakes his head a bit. "I can't talk about the kids. I mean...I know...it's gonna take time. I'm trying to deal with it. I am finally dealing with it. I hate that you weren't there, ya know. You didn't get to say goodbye to Kaylee...you never got to meet Ben.." Jax stops as he can feel the tears building.

"Hey, man, I know. I know. We don't have to go there right now…"

"I think Alma wants a divorce." Jax reveals. Since Alma's drunken question, he hasn't been too sure of how to fix their marriage. He isn't sure how to show Alma that he wants them together. He loves her. He doesn't want to live in a world without her. He knows that he is the cause of her having doubts with them and herself.

"Did she say that?"

"She asked if it was what I wanted…" Jax licks his lips. "But if she had to ask me that...it's my fault where we are at where we are."

"What you do?"

"Treated her like shit since I came back." Jax states truthfully.

"Did you…?"

Jax nods his head regretfully. "I fucked up, Opie."

"She know?"

"Yeah. Had a few fights about it and other things. I just feel...we make an effort and it sets us back, or something happens. She's not happy, but I don't want to let her go."

Opie is silent and Jax knows he probably won't like what his friend has to say. "You think about leaving the house? Start back to square one. Just having space between the two of you can give clarity."

"With this life...I just didn't want Nathan to have to grow up in a broken home." Jax reveals.

With the Life he has, he wanted his children to have a strong family base. He may not be a good man, but he wanted to keep that shelter from his kids for as long as he could. He didn't want his kids to grow up like he did with knowing everything. He doesn't even know how much Nathan knows about club business. Sure, he entertains his son when he says that he wants to join the club, but his son didn't know the truth. He still had that child innocence that he knows is surely being stripped away.

"I think him seeing you and Alma slowly turn into shells of yourselves is gonna be worse than you two being apart and healthy. And it's not like you guys can't find your way back to each other."

"I just fucked up. I know I did." Jax says shaking his head. "I don't think I can fix this."

"When you go home, send Nathan to your moms, even if Alma is resistant, you force her to talk. You lay everything out. It might be best for you to stay at your moms than the clubhouse though."

Jax chuckles a bit. "I just...I hate myself for hurting her like this."

"You're human. Make mistakes, it is how we learn and grow from them. Marriage is hard. You both have gone through so much shit...maybe this is what you guys need so the damage isn't fixable at a certain point."

.

.

"I got you Mom!" Nathan shouts as he shoots his water gun directly on his mom's stomach. The water stain spreads and his mom huffs. His mom was mowing the front lawn and he was bored and found the stash of water guns.

"I don't know if I should be concerned about how you know your way around a gun so well." His mom states as she steps away from the lawn mower and looks down her shirt.

"I practice, Mom," Nathan says gleefully.

"Maybe a little too much," she adds.

"I miss playing with Uncle Opie." Nathan tells his mom. He really wanted to see his Uncle Opie with his dad, but he wasn't allowed to go for whatever reason.

"Well write a letter and set up a phone call date." His mom tells him.

"Yeah, but it's not the same." Nathan mutters.

Alma frowns and wraps her arms around her son. "I know, baby. Maybe when Donna goes to visit Uncle Opie we can see if you can go. Or maybe we'll make a trip with it. I'm sure Aunt Donna and your cousins would like that."

"Can Dad come?"

"Yeah, I don't see why not," she replies.

"Are you sure?"

"Why wouldn' I be?"

Nathan bites his lip. He may be young, but he notices things. Since his sister has passed away things have not been the same. He thinks even before that something was wrong with his parents.

He was used to his parents always kissing and hugging one another, but he hasn't seen them have any of those interactions in months. There isn't any laughter between them. He knows losing Ben and Kaylee has to do with most of it, but Nathan got better with the grief with his mom. She helped him. He just isn't sure how his parents aren't able to help each other.

"I just want you and Dad to be happy." He tells his mom.

Alma kneels down in front of him. He notices that she has the sad smile on her face that she has had even before Kaylee has passed. She cups his cheek and her thumb roams back and forth across it. "I love your Dad. I always will, but sometimes happiness and love aren't mutually exclusive."

"So loving Dad doesn't make you happy?"

"I will always love your Dad, but sometimes that love will make me feel sad or mad," she says with a scrunched nose that makes them both laugh. "I'm sorry things haven't been how they were. Things haven't been the same since Kaylee...and Ben, but I think things will get better. Not right away, but we just have to make a new normal for us."

"Does this new normal involve a new bike?" Nathan asks with a smile.

Alma pinches his cheeks. "You are just like your father."

"Excuse me?"

Both he and his mom jump at the voice of a woman who is standing in front of them. She has blonde hair that looks like honey. Nathan thinks she is really tall. Taller than his mom. But his eyes are drawn to her very pregnant belly.

"I'm looking for Jax Teller." The woman says.

. . .

Her name was Wendy. She was pregnant. Six months pregnant to be exact. Her belly was round and full. Wendy had told her that Jury was even kind enough to keep her working behind the bar since she couldn't glide on a pole anymore.

Wendy didn't have to tell Alma why exactly she was here. The belly and scared look on her face was enough. Alma had politely informed Wendy that Jax wasn't here and Alma gathered the appropriate contact info for the woman staying at the Ramada. Although, Alma wouldn't be surprised if Wendy made a pit stop to the clubhouse.

Alma is surprised she hasn't gotten numb to being humiliated by Jax. The only silver lining to any of this was Gemma was not busy and Alma had dropped Nathan off to spend the day with his grandmother.

Alma knows she wouldn't have been able to keep a poker face around her son. She wasn't even sure of what she wanted to do or going to do. She really wanted to kill her husband at this point. She just knows she didn't have any more tears left for her husband.

She is sitting in the living room smoking a blunt with a bottle of vodka open. She hates vodka, but right now it tastes like Kool Aid. She practically inhales the bottle when she hears Jax's bike pull into the driveway.

She waits in silence for him to enter the house.

"Babe?" Jax calls out as he enters the house.

She doesn't bother replying as he is going to smell the weed anyways. He seems to be following the scent as she hears his footsteps approaching.

"Are you smoking weed?" He asks in disbelief.

She doesn't bother with an answer. She can feel him besides her. His shadow looms over her. "And you're drinking." He takes a seat next to her. "What happened?"

Alma didn't say anything for a couple minutes. She doesn't know if she even has the right to be mad. She should've left when she first found out Jax was sleeping around. She stayed and now it is slapping her in the goddamn face.

She digs into the pocket of her cardigan. She places the paper that contains all the information to contact Wendy on the table and slides it over to Jax.

"She's looking for you." Alma tells him.

Jax furrows his brows and he looks down at the paper. It doesn't seem to click as he stares at the paper for a couple minutes. Although maybe Alma adding that she is from Nevada might have helped connect the dots.

"Babe -" Jax starts and goes to reach out to her, but Alma stands immediately and creates some distance. He immediately clamps his mouth shut.

"I want you out of the house. I don't care where you go or who you are with, but I want you gone. If you need something regarding Nathan, you can talk to me through Gemma. But don't call me, don't come here, don't do anything until I reach out."

"Alma, please let -"

"She's pregnant!" Alma shouts and Jax's freezes.

"It's not mine. I wore -"

"I don't care. You slept with her. She's pregnant and she's here." Alma folds her arms around herself. "I'll give you space to pack your clothes."

. . .

Two weeks Jax has felt like he has been in a constant state of panic. It's been two weeks since he has heard from Alma or even seen a glimpse of her. She had been deadly serious that if there was anything concerning Nathan that it was to go through his mom.

Even when he got Nathan on the Thursdays to Monday morning, his mom would drop him off or pick him up.

Jax had decided to stay with his mom as well. He didn't want to stay at the clubhouse. The guys were not saying much, outside of Piney, but were giving him looks of pity. He knew it was going to be any day now that Alma would serve him divorce papers.

And after a couple days, Jax had made a move to contact Wendy. He had been met with a very pregnant Wendy. She was claiming that he could be the father. He fits in her timeline of conception. He demanded a DNA test, but of course she wanted to wait until the baby was born for the non invasive test. Still, there was a chance that this baby could be his. Even if it wasn't the damage was already done.

"Sitting in your self pity isn't going to get your wife back."

Jax snaps his gaze up from his half empty coffee mug to look at his mother. He of course got a verbal ass whooping from his mother. He feared his mother was going to shoot him. He also had been surprised that she wasn't trying to help him mend his marriage, but he knows it would only piss off Alma more.

"Maybe we should get a court order demanding Wendy performs a DNA test now."

"I'm not going to do that." Jax says.

"Why not? Do you realize what is at stake here? Alma is going to leave your sorry ass."

"Thanks for the reminder, Mom. But I would rather not have to deal with an angry Wendy."

"Who gives a fuck about that bitch's feelings. She went out of her way to humiliate your wife in front of your son. She knew what she was doing when going to your house." Gemma snarls. "Besides from the way you are talking, it seems the kid is yours."

"It could be." Jax admits truthfully.

Gemma sighs. "Then the ink on your divorce papers is practically dry, Jax."

"You know I really don't need this right now, Ma."

"Oh I'm sorry, Alma didn't need to be humiliated and betrayed by her husband when she was mourning the loss of their children. See what happens when you bury your fucking problems in pussy that isn't your wife!" Gemma snaps.

Jax scowls at his mom and he doesn't get to reply as his phone starts vibrating. He sees it's Half Sack. Despite Alma's no contact order he had given the Prospect instructions to keep tabs on his wife.

"Yeah?"

"Jax, you need to get to the house."

Jax immediately stands. "Why what's going on?"

"I think she is leaving, Jax."

. . .

He wasn't surprised to see Ann there. He should have expected it. He doesn't even properly park his bike as he stands and gets off it. He can hear it fall down on the driveway and he removes his helmet and tosses it on the ground.

Nathan is sitting on the steps crying. Ann is packing an unrecognizable car he thinks could be a rental. Alma stands out on the steps not entirely shocked to see him. Any misery vanishes at the thought of Alma leaving and taking his son without any warning.

"So you were just going to fucking leave without saying anything. You were going to take my son!" He roars and he doesn't care about causing a scene.

"Nathan wants to stay here with you." Alma replies calmly. "I was gonna drop him off with you at your mom's. Lowen drew up some divorce papers."

Jax's heart drops to his chest. His anger instantly vanishes. "Alma, please, we can work this out. Just don't leave."

Alma steps down from the steps. "I have no choice but to leave you. Just please sign the papers that is all I want."

"Alma, please…" He begs.

He can tell Alma is trying to fight back the tears. "There isn't anything you can do or say, Jax. I don't want to end up hating you more. When I get settled we can make arrangements for Nathan. Just keep him safe."

She turns away from him and she kneels down to face Nathan. He can't hear what she is saying, but his little boy begins to cry harder.

"Please, don't go, Mom. Just stay please," Nathan wails as Alma holds their son close. Nathan's cries lower, but his body is shaking from the effort. Alma presses a kiss to his head and holds him before she stands.

Alma turns to him. Her eyes filled with unshed tears. "I'll call Nathan when I get settled."

"Where are you going?" Jax asks her. "You don't need to leave, Alma. You can have the house -"

"Charming isn't my home anymore Jax. You made sure of that."

Jax watches as Alma reaches her mom, who finally closes the trunk of the car. Jax is surprised Ann isn't jumping for joy or doing cartwheels. Alma doesn't look back as she gets into the passenger side of the door. The car begins pulling out of the driveway when Nathan gets up screaming for them to stop. The car stops and Alma opens the door.

Nathan stands in front of him. His blue eyes red from tears. "I want to go with Mom."

Jax doesn't bother hiding his tears as he bends down and embraces his son tightly. He cannot deny the boy the right to want to leave with Alma. "You take care of your mom, alright."

Nathan holds him tightly. "I love you, Dad."

Jax presses a kiss to his son's head. "I love you too. You and your mom."

Nathan loosens his grip and Jax lets his son go. He watches as Alma holds Nathan tightly before she helps him into the backseat of the car.

Jax watches his family drive away.

He falls to his knees and he doesn't care who sees him.


	6. Separation of Crows

FIVE YEARS LATER

For the first time in years, Alma is going to fully acknowledge her ex-husband. Since their divorce things had been rocky between them. They never had fully recovered from the events that took place that led to their divorce. 

They are civil when it comes to anything regarding Nathan. 99.9 % of their conversations revolve around their son. Outside of the first year of the divorce and working out the distance, they had been able to work out a schedule that didn’t hurt Nathan’s relationship with his father. Jax got their son for the summer and every holiday and Nathan stayed with her for the school year. 

Alma can say she is proud that she and Jax have managed to co-parent as well as they have. She had thought it would be harder. She expected so much resistance. Yet, Jax has been over generous through the years and she knows he is overcompensating for the guilt he still feels. 

She feels bad that she and Jax have turned into strangers. 

She knows exactly when it happened. 

Wendy had given birth to a beautiful baby boy. After getting the paternity test, it turned out Jax was not the father. She had been happy for Jax if that made any sense. She knows that he thought it could be the start in mending things. Instead it just brought up old wounds as it didn’t change that he had slept with another woman, one of many, who could've been pregnant with his child. That had thrown Alma down a spiral she had managed to avoid and after that short and clipped phone call. She had a night out in the town where she met Vitaly Petrova. The man that would become her husband. 

She knows the only reason Jax came to the wedding was because of Nathan. He would have his boy for a month while she and Vitaly went on their honeymoon. Since her wedding night, any type of thread they had on a relationship evaporated. Jax created a bigger distance she couldn’t even begin to build a bridge too. She knows she is at fault considering what exactly conspired between the two on her wedding night. 

She knows he is going to have questions. It’s been 2 years since she has been back to Charming. She only made a trip to Opie’s homecoming party. When Nathan comes to stay with his dad, she and Jax always meet halfway. 

She knows Nathan is going to be mad, but she is doing what is best for him. That is her job as her mother. What hurts is having to follow the familiar route to hers and Jax’s first home. Nathan had mentioned in passing that Jax found the second house too big - too empty. The house is for Nathan when he is older and wants to come back to Charming. 

Nothing really has changed except for the vines that are overtaking the exterior. She finds Jax outside restoring a bike. He looks shocked to see her as Nathan isn’t due to visit until June for the summer. It’s May. 

Alma makes note in the changes of her ex-husband though. He had chopped off all his hair. He has a close cropped shave and it seems he has added at least 15 pounds in muscles since the last time she saw him. 

He doesn’t show any reaction to her showing up unannounced. He never shows any reaction towards her anymore. His eyes scan her car before her appearance. She isn’t all dolled up as she usually is. Her now blonde hair is in a sloppy bun and she is wearing a simple red summer dress. 

“Hey, Jax,” she greets. 

He doesn’t say anything as he begins wiping his hands off with a rag. 

“Everything okay with Nathan?” He asks. 

“Yeah. Everything is fine.”

Jax raises his eyebrow. “If it were, you wouldn't be here in Charming unannounced.”

“I wanted to talk about changing Nathan’s visiting schedule.”

Jax nods his head. “You and the Russian going on vacation?” That was another thing. Jax never referred to Vitaly by his name. Just the Russian. She knows Jax hates her husband for many reasons and now she is potentially creating another one. 

“Actually, I was thinking Nathan should start high school in Charming. I want him to come back living here.”

“What?” Her ex-husband replies visibly confused. 

“I think with high school, it may be best for him to be with you. I know the visitation...it’s hard for you.”

Jax sighs. “He wanted to be with you, Al. It’s hard, but it’s not like I don’t see him. We talk almost every day.”

“I just want to do this for you.”

Jax stares at her directly in her eyes. “What aren’t you telling me?”  
Alma hides the panic. She has gotten good at lying in the past three years. She knows she is risking a lot by not hiding her eyes with sunglasses, but it would put Jax on even more of an alert. 

“Everything is okay, Jax.” She assures him. 

Jax doesn’t press. He folds his arms across his chest. “I mean it’s not like I am going to have a problem with my son wanting to live with me.”

Alma smiles and some tension leaves her body. “I already completed the paperwork and I enrolled him at Aquinas Academy.”

“That Catholic school in Stockton? That place is expensive as shit.” Jax exclaims. 

“We always planned to send the kids there Jax. Did you forget I went there? We get a discount.”

A fond smile comes across his face. “Trust me, darlin’, I did not forget you in that skirt they passed as a uniform.” 

Alma rolls her eyes, but she can’t help the smile that comes across her face. It’s nice to be talking to Jax like this without any tension. Although it makes the heartache worse because she misses him. She never stopped despite all the heartache he put her through. She knows that makes her stupid. 

“I already ordered him a couple uniforms too.”

“Jesus, Al, let me pay for something. I know the Russian has money, but Christ, Nathan is my son.” Jax says with more bite than intended. 

“I didn’t use any of his money, Jax. I never do with things for Nathan and I’m sure you know that considering you make it a point to send child support checks I never ask for.” Alma constantly rolls her eyes at the money Jax sends her on a monthly basis. Of course it all goes directly to Nathan, but she knows the excessive amount Jax puts in is for her as well. With the money, she has been teaching Nathan about budgeting and she makes sure he isn’t always buying outlandish things. “Besides, I have my own money.”

Jax lips tug up. “How is your shop? Mom liked the nails you sent in for her to try.”

A bright smile comes over her face any time anyone asks about her nail salon. Two years ago she started Picassos. She started a small online shop for press or glue on nails and after getting the necessary paperwork and certifications, she was able to open her own salon and it has done exceptionally well. In fact, her online store constantly keeps her busy. 

“It’s going so well. I’m thinking of expanding.”

“Yeah. Have any spaces picked out?”

A blush taints her cheeks for some reason. “I’m actually thinking of opening a spot here. I am supposed to meet with Hale about potential spaces especially since Nathan will be here now.”

Jax presses his lips together. She can tell he is thinking hard. He is trying to understand what is going on around him. He closes the distance between them. His hand comes up and grips her chin forcing her to look at him. She hates how a simple touch from him causes goosebumps to erupt across her flesh. 

“I know I was shit husband -”

“You weren’t,” she interrupts foolishly. Sure, at the end he was, but in the beginning, she can’t find herself tainting the image of the man she had hopelessly been in love with. 

A strained smile reaches Jax’s lip. “...still despite what happened between us. You can still come to me if you need my help.”

“Jax, I’m fine. Everything is okay.” She places her hand over his and squeezes it before removing his hand from her face. “I’ll see you next month.”

She doesn’t let Jax get another word back in as she rushes back to her car.   
.  
.  
.  
Alma had to plan it meticulously. Vitaly is always busiest it seems between May and until the end of June. It’s then he makes his visits to other states or countries for things. Then in July, he would spoil her with a trip someplace. She knows this summer will not be an easy one. Most importantly, she feels bad for having to deceive her son. 

She looks at her oldest, as he gets older, she thought he would take after his father more. She had been surprised how much he resembles her physically. From the brown hair and she even finds some of her mannerisms in him. However, his eyes are his father’s eyes. Those blue orbs are a carbon copy of his father’s and he also seems to have inherited his father’s brain when it comes to things that aren’t particularly suited for the interests of 14 year olds. She has gotten too many phone calls about her son setting up candy stores trying to make a buck at school. 

Despite his lukewarm relationship with Vitaly, she knows Nathan does enjoy spending time learning the business side of the wine industry. Nathan has expressed an interest in going to school for business. She had been pleasantly surprised that her son showed an interest in college. She had been convinced her son would move back to Charming at 18 and join the club. Although she might be changing the course of his life by moving him to Charming. 

“What do you mean I’m moving with Dad?” Nathan asks as he packed what he believed to be his summer bag to his father’s. He only brings simple things like a book, movies, and games. Maybe a sweatshirt he is particularly fond of. Usually the first day he is back in Charming, his dad takes him shopping for new clothes and things he needs if he outgrown some things. It also helped that he didn’t need to lug around a suitcase and deal with unpacking. 

“I enrolled you at Aquinas Academy for high school. So now for holidays you’ll come here. I thought it might be best for you to spend your teenage years with your dad.”

“And I don’t get a say in this?” Nathan asks. 

“If you really hate Charming that much, you can come back here of course. I think it would be best. I mean I got you for all these years. I think you and your dad would love this.”

“Does Vitaly know?”

“It doesn’t matter. When it comes to you, the final decision is between me and your father.” His mother deflects. 

Nathan straightens his back. He doesn’t like that answer. The thing was being young Nathan didn’t see the warning signs, or maybe Vitaly was good at hiding them. He can also say he had come to a point where he hated his father for the pain he inflicted on his mother. Vitaly didn’t seem to be wrong for his mother. He was spoiling his mother with gifts and seemed like he wanted to form a friendship with him. Now, he thinks Vitaly just knew how to prey on his mother. She was emotionally vulnerable and he dove like a crow. 

He thinks it was almost a year into his mother's marriage something felt off between his mom and Vitaly. 

The problem is he never sees anything. Sure, there are some raised voices and he does check his mom over for marks, but there is no evidence. 

There are times when he wants to mention something to his dad. He just is scared of his dad’s reaction and what could happen to his mom. His dad doesn’t like Vitaly as is and he knows his dad might do something reckless. Knows the club could get into trouble if his dad did do something. 

Although his main concern is his mother, he has researched a little on domestic violence and he needs to be sure she is safe. 

“Mom, I can’t leave you alone.” Nathan settles on. 

“I won’t be. I have the salon keeping me busy.” She answers. 

Nathan wants to scream and shout, but he doesn’t. He is a teeanger and he needs to be smart about this. Just maybe his mom does have a plan if she is sending him back to Charming. It doesn’t ease his worries though. 

“You’re gonna come to visit at least on the first day of school?”

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”  
.  
.  
.  
Alma didn’t think it would be this hard. It’s always hard when her baby leaves for the summer. She misses him terribly and Nathan’s absence is always felt. Now though she can’t stop crying as she holds him to send him off with his father. 

“Christ, Mom,” Nathan says as she smothers him in kisses as she has to stand on her tippy toes a bit.

She can hear Jax chuckle in the background. 

She pulls back, “I’m just going to miss you so much.”

“I can see that.” 

“Oh stop,” Alma says. 

“I’m just going to be with Dad. It’s not like I’m moving to another country.”

Alma gives her son another hug. “I’ll miss you, baby.”

Nathan’s arms wrap around her tightly and they hold each other. Her baby is growing up. “I’ll miss you too, Mom.”

Alma pulls back and watches as Nathan makes his way to Jax’s truck. Jax is leaning against his grill with a somber expression. He walks over to her, “You sure about this?”

“Yeah. I’ll be in town for a couple weeks in August to see him start school.” She tells him. She wraps her arms around herself. “Just take care of him, Jax. He’s the only thing I have left.”

Jax nods his head. His eyes scan her over, “I’ll see you in August.”

.  
.  
The ride to Charming was quiet. Jax expected it to be considering how Alma clearly was distraught with Nathan moving in with him. Jax reminds himself that Alma wanted this and he was happy to have his son full time. Yet, since she popped up unexpectedly last month, he felt something was off. He was missing something from this. Sure, he had his suspicions. He made the mistakes once of making an offhand comment to Clay about it. The guys would usually ignore his comments about the Russian and write it off as jealousy. Yet, Clay had looked at him and made the pointed reminder that Alma wasn’t his wife or old lady. Her marriage wasn’t his business. Also if he did something the blow back wouldn’t not only hurt Alma and Nathan, but the club would suffer. 

Sometimes, Jax wanted to ask Nathan if he had worries or issues with Vitaly. He just didn’t want to put his son in that position. If there was a truth to any suspicions of wrongdoing, Jax would murder Vitaly without any hesitation. 

He just doesn’t know how to handle the fact he pushed Alma into this situation. He fucked up and she landed into this assholes lap. 

“We’re going to Grandma’s?” Nathan asks when they don’t take the turn to the house. 

“Her grandbaby is moving back to Charming. She made a whole spread for you.” Jax informs him. 

Gemma had been ecstatic when he told her Alma was sending Nathan to move in with him permanently. Since Alma married the Russian, their relationship had turned frosty. He knows his mom thought a reconciliation would happen and he thinks it's safe to say they were both blindsided when she announced she was getting married. 

His mother didn’t like the Russian either, but for other reasons. Jax thinks he is the only one that believes Alma’s marriage isn’t what it seems. He thinks it may be time to talk to Opie because he might get clarity from him, but even then it doesn’t change the fact Alma isn’t his old lady or wife. 

“You think she’ll be nicer to mom now?” 

Jax raises an eyebrow. “Who knows with your grandmother. How’s Ann doing?”

Nathan shrugs his shoulders. “Somewhere with her boyfriend. I don’t know. She and mom don’t talk much anymore.”

“Why’s that?”

“Everytime they would talk, Ann would say something bad about you and praise Vitaly. It would lead to arguments. So mom stopped checking in unless she felt I needed to talk to her, which I don't.” 

Jax snorts. “Unbelievable. How is the Russian?” He asks with clear distaste.

Nathan shrugs his shoulders. “On a business trip, I guess.” Nathan taps his fingers against his knees. “I just wish my mom wasn’t going to be alone in the house.”

“You worried for her.”

“It’s just been me and her, ya know. After Ben and Kaylee...I always worry.” Nathan reveals. 

Jax fights the ball in his throat at the mention of his two youngest. His chest still tightens thinking about them and what their futures could’ve been.

“She and the Russian don’t want kids?” He asks. He tries not to think about Alma sharing a bed with that man, but he has been mentally preparing for the pregnancy announcement any day now. 

“Vitaly doesn’t like kids.”

“What!” Jax exclaims, shocked. 

“That’s what he told me.”

“What? When?” Jax inquires. 

“It was a little bit after when they got married. One of the workers at the winery had a baby. He told me I didn’t need to worry about getting another sibling. He wasn’t fond of kids, especially babies.”

“Your mom knows this?”

Nathan furrows his brow. “I would imagine. It’s not like I really want to talk about mom’s sex life, Dad. Gross.”

“How do you think you got here?”

Nathan’s nose scrunches up. “Disgusting.”

“Speaking of sex, don’t think you are living with me you can be sneaking girls over. Your mom will kill me if you get a girl pregnant.” Jax warns. “You do know how to use a condom?”

“Ugh, yes, Dad. Mom showed me.”

“When?”

“Dad, I really don’t want to talk about this.”

“Well you are getting a refresher and I’ll take you shopping, or did your mom already take you?”

Nathan’s cheeks are red at this point. “No, Mom said she’ll save the shopping for you.”

“Look at that, your mom thinks of everything.” Jax says as he pulls into Gemma’s driveway. He turns the truck off. “I’ll give you a few minutes to call your mom and tell her that you're here, alright.”

Nathan nods his head and Jax slips out of the truck. He walks into his mother’s house. He almost jumps as the door is swung open. His mother is on the opposite side of him. She looks behind him. “Where is my grandson?”

“Calling Alma real quick to tell her we made it.” He answers as he walks into the house. 

“Well?” Gemma presses. 

“Well what?”

“Aren’t you excited? You’ve been mopey since Alma gave you the good news. It’s about time she came to her senses about the boy needing to be with his father.” Gemma adds. 

“Ma,” Jax warns. 

Gemma presses her lips together. “You should be happy.”

“I am.”

“She’s not your concern anymore, Jax.”

“She is still family, Ma.” Jax answers. “She’s the mother of my children. She is always going to be a concern.”

...  
Alma has been nervous for this day. She is in the sitting living room by the tall windows as she looks out into their backyard. Vitaly is returning from his business trip. She can hear his footsteps approaching. She watches as he waves off his security to give them privacy. 

Vitaly is a handsome man. Tall and lean, his dirty blonde hair is slicked back and parted on the side, and it seems in the month he has grown out a mustache. When they first met, she wasn’t really impressed with him. Or at the time, he shared some similarities with her ex husband with the long hair and baggy shirts and jeans. But Vitaly’s sense of style has matured to silk buttons up and slacks. Expensive shoes and diamond jewelry. Despite having a legitimate winery with vast distribution, he has ties to the Russian Mafia. His uncle is Viktor Putlova, the head of the Mafia. 

Alma had been hesitant to be involved with someone in the Life again, but she was swept up by Vitaly. Also it helped that the Sons rarely do business dealings with the Russians. 

She took the risk. 

“Hey, baby,” he greets and gives her a kiss before sitting next to her. 

“How was the trip?”

“Too long. Just wanted to come home,” he tells her as he puts an arm around her shoulder. 

“Nathan already gone?”

Alma swallows the ball in her throat. “Yeah. Dropped him off last night.”

“When is he coming back?”

“He...uh...he is going to be actually staying in Charming. He is going to live with Jax.” She informs him. 

Vitaly freezes. “When was this decided?”

“A few weeks ago.”

“And you are only telling me now?”

Alma doesn’t say anything. 

“Answer me.” Vitaly barks. 

“He is starting high school. I thought it was best he was with his dad. They both miss each other.” Alma rushes out. 

“You couldn’t tell me this over the phone. You went behind my back.” Vitaly points out. “When did you tell, Jax?”

“May.”

“Over the phone.” Vitaly inquires.

Alma shakes her head. 

Even though she is prepared for it, it still manages to take her by surprise when Vitaly grabs her by her throat. He squeezes hard as he chokes her. She begins to feel light headed and white spots are forming in her eyes. 

She coughs as he throws her to the floor. 

“Jesus, fuck, Alma!” Vitaly shouts. “Get to the fucking room.” She can hear him unbuckling his belt. 

She used to think she was in love with Vitaly. Maybe a part of her was, but all she knows that her heart was already broken once so it can’t be broken again.

.  
.  
.  
.

TWO YEARS AGO - The Wedding

Alma never imagined getting married again. In fact, she thought she was done with marriage. She had no desire in making vows with another man. Yet, look at her now. She is only in her peach colored robe and the fancy lingerie set she bought for her soon to be husband. She had just finished her makeup when she began to feel overwhelmed. 

Her mom sensed that she needed some space. She didn’t remember feeling nervous when she married Jax, but then again she already had a kid. Marriage paled in comparison to that. 

She is just worried she is making a mistake. Her choices affect her son. She and Vitaly could be together without the attachment of marriage. She wonders if it is normal to feel scared. She knows she sure as hell doesn't feel happy at the moment. 

Thinking on it, Alma didn’t have much say in the wedding planning. Her mom had taken over everything for her. 

A knock comes at the door. 

“One minute.” She replies. 

It’s quiet, but the knock comes again. She sighs and storms to the door. “I said one -” Her voice dies as she finds Jax on the other side of the door. 

He rushes into the room. Alma closes the door. She knows the only reason he is here is because of Nathan. Immediately after the wedding festivities Jax is going to take Nathan while they are on their honeymoon. 

She doesn’t get to question him as to why he is here because he beats her to it. 

“Please do not do this,” he pleads. 

Alma rolls her eyes. She walks back over to her vanity. “You did this. You ended us.”

“Alma, please, I’m sorry...there has to be something -”

“You’ve done enough.” She informs him bluntly. 

It goes quiet in the dressing room. Alma busies herself by playing with random items on her vanity, but it doesn’t conceal that her hands are shaking. 

She hears Jax footsteps behind her before his chest is against her back. Alma freezes. She turns immediately to slap him for even crossing that physical boundary. 

Yet as soon as she turns, Jax hoists her up on the vanity and immediately spreads her legs to stand between them. His movements were rough and desperate as he immediately removed her robe leaving her in her peach colored lingerie. 

His fingers wrapped around her throat and he moved her closer as he applied the smallest of pressure and pressed his lips against hers. 

She was distracted by Jax kissing hers that she jumps slightly in surprise when she feels his fingers move her panties to the side and tease her opening. He didn’t thrust them inside of her, but kept circling them making her buck her hips up on the counter. 

“Jax,” she moans. 

She hears him unzipping his pants and her panties are pushed to the side again and he slams himself inside of her. 

Alma screams are muffled as Jax moves the hand around her neck to cover her mouth. Her walls constrict around him as her body gets adjusted to him. She hates to even admit that she missed this side of Jax. She missed him. 

Jax moves his hand back to her throat as he presses another rough kiss to her mouth. He pulls all the way out before snapping his hips back up into hers. Alma bites her lip to stifle her moans as each thrust is harder than before. 

She knows what Jax is doing. She shouldn’t be letting him do this. She shouldn’t be doing this at all. But she tightens around him. 

Jax releases a broken moan, “Christ, you feel so fucking perfect.”

Jax lifts her leg and he hits her G-Spot repeatedly. It triggers her orgasm unexpectedly. Her body quivers and a lewd moan leaves Jax mouth as he releases. She can feel him coating her walls. He trails kisses across her collarbone and throat before he meets her lips. 

She can feel the tears building in her eyes. She thinks she truly hates Jax and herself at this moment. Jax pulls back when he feels the first drop of liquid against his cheeks. 

Alma winces as he pulls out of her. She ignores his cum dripping out of her and staining her panties. She is lucky she brought another set of lingerie as she couldn’t decide. 

“I hate you.” She tells him. She doesn’t glance at him as he cleans up. She has barely tied her robe back together and Jax has just buckled his belt when the door slams open revealing her mother. 

Ann doesn’t say anything as she glares at Jax, who walks out without a glance back. 

Alma turns as she looks for the other set of lingerie. 

“Is it out of your system?” Ann asks. 

Alma nods her head. 


	7. Hands

It’s not bad living in Charming. Nathan didn’t think it would be. It’s a little jarring being in his first home. The brick is welcoming and the interior is warm. It’s familiar. Despite his mom not stepping a foot here in years, it’s weird feeling her presence. It’s almost disappointing waking up in the morning and heading into the kitchen not seeing her or even Kaylee. His mind wonders how Ben would be as a child. 

His dad is trying though. His dad makes it a point to have breakfast every morning. Sometimes, his grandma will take him to school, but his dad drops him off to Stockton. It sometimes feels like he hasn’t lived with him for an extended period of time. There are just the little things from how his sheets don’t smell the same as what his mom uses that makes the truth of his living situation known. Also, Nathan can admit his mom absolutely babied him. So he doesn’t expect his dad to wake him up with kisses or for the five minute hugs because his mom can’t let him go. 

He can tell Gemma loves him being back home. There is a weekly dinner at her house. She’s been spoiling him with new clothes, accessories, and the general hoovering.

Still even with the new friends and being back with his dad’s family, he misses his mother. He knew he was going to miss her, but he didn’t think it would be this bad. He calls her every night. They both give each other a run down of their days. He is thankful for technology that they can video call. At first, he would take the calls in his room. He is still uncertain about where his parents stand with each other. 

He knows there is not any hate between them. Just a lot of hurt. His dad had been truthful about what happened between him and his mom. Nathan can admit. He does blame his dad a lot. He thinks when his dad told him the full truth he may have even said he hated him. He hurt his family. If anything it made Nathan want to protect his mother even more. It’s why he kept the video calls for his room, but his mom had called him early one day and he happened to be in the kitchen with his dad. His mom was always excited about the littlest things. She had planted a butterfly garden and had been so excited to show him the butterflies. His dad had been making them something to eat and the next thing he knew his dad had his phone while he and his mom talked about whatever. 

So now, a portion of his calls are taken over by them asking how each other were. It just makes him feel even more guilt that he is keeping his suspicions and concerns from his father. 

Nathan is sitting on the couch. His body is tired from football practice and he really just wants to sleep. He is dozing off slightly as his mom sends him pictures of the nails she did today. 

“Your mom said it’s alright for you to go to bed.”

Nathan jumps at the sound of his dad’s voice. He thought his dad was going to be gone all of Saturday. 

“What?” Nathan asks, confused. 

“She just texted saying you sent her a bunch of letters and you only do that when you are tired.”

Nathan furrows his brows and looks down at his phone and he sees the text that is just a bunch of random letters. 

“You and Mom are texting?” Nathan inquires. 

“About you.” His dad replies. 

Nathan eyes his father. It’s weird looking in his dad’s eyes knowing he has the same ones. His mother always told him that he had his father’s eyes. He sees things the way his dad does. He doesn’t know if she was happy about that. 

He knows his father isn’t a saint clearly. His mother is a married woman. He just knows that things are complicated. He is protective over his mother and his dad has hurt her before. 

“How did you do it?” He asks his father. 

“Do what?”

“Let Mom go.” Nathan remembers that day. The day his mom had made the decision to end things. His Dad didn’t fight for her, not really. He just let her go. 

His dad sighs and joins him on the couch. His dad doesn’t say anything for a couple minutes. “Your mom’s happiness...it means more to me than me keeping her here. It means more than my own happiness. I can’t blame her for leaving. I pushed her to make that choice.”

“Why didn’t you fight harder?” Nathan asks. 

“Nate...I probably would’ve pushed her further away. It’s -”

“Don’t say it’s complicated because it’s really not.” Nathan fires back. “You guys could’ve gone to marriage counseling. Mom missed you so much. Do you understand how hard those six months were?” Nathan asks his father. His mother was miserable. He knows she tried to hide it. She always put him before everything and left no room for her to grieve - to move on. “Mom just wanted you to make things right because you fucked up. Then she met Vitaly and that is just…” Nathan trails off. He clasps his mouth shut. 

“What about the Russian?” His dad asks. 

“It’s nothing.” Nathan shakes with a shake of his head. “Just whatever you two are doing. Just don’t hurt her again.”  
..  
Nathan could care less about the homecoming dance, football, and even his date. All he cares about is that this is the second weekend his mom is coming down to visit him, but the first weekend she is going to stay for a bit. He has been counting down the days and he had been able to convince his mom to save money and just stay with him and his dad. He had been able to use some puppy eyes and begging and his mom caved. It wasn’t like Vitaly was going to know. The man couldn’t even be bothered with coming. 

Nathan had woken up way early due to his excitement. His mom was coming in the morning on Friday although he would be in school when she would arrive. She was just staying for the weekend unfortunately. She would be leaving on Monday morning after he left for school. 

He had been barely paying attention all day during school. He just wanted to see his mother. He rushed out of school not paying attention to what his friends were saying to him. He expected to see his dad or grandma, but he is pleasantly shocked to see his mom standing outside of her car. He runs over to his mom and wraps his arms around her and twirls her around. 

She begs him to stop while laughing, but it is their thing since he has inherited his father’s height and his mom is such a tiny thing. 

She giggles as he puts her down and gives her a real hug. 

“I take it someone missed me.”

“I missed you so much, Mom.” He tells her and his body relaxes at her familiar scent of oranges that seems imprinted on her skin. 

“I’m here now, baby. I missed you too.” She tells him. 

. . .

  
“When did you get in?” Nathan asks his mother when they make their way back to Charming. 

“Around noon.”

“Was Dad there?”

Alma nods her head. “Yeah, despite me still having the key. I’m surprised the house is clean. Gemma cleaning up after you two?”

Nathan snorts. “No. Dad actually gave me a chore list. It’s how I make my allowance.”

Alma looks over at him in surprise. “Really?”

“Yeah, Mom. It sucks.”

She laughs. “Now you know how I felt when I had to clean up after you, Dad, and Kaylee. At least Kaylee would help.”

Nathan smiles at the mention of his sister. He has noticed as the years go by, grief has been kinder to his mom. She can mention Kaylee freely. She still struggles with Ben, but she isn’t scared to talk about things Kaylee used to do.

“It’s not weird being back in the house is it?” He asks hesitantly. 

“There’s nothing but good memories in that house.” His mom assures him. 

Nathan nods his head and believes her. “So tell me about the shop?”

His mom smiles and it takes over her whole face. 

. . . 

“So Alma’s here?” Gemma asks her son. 

She knows Nathan has been downright giddy about his mom visiting. Gemma has noticed her son has been more subdued and almost nervous. She also noticed since Nathan has made home in Charming her son doesn’t mess around with croweaters that much or at all. 

“Yeah. She is picking up Nathan from school right now. So you need to be nice.”

“When am I not?” Gemma asks. 

“Ma…” Jax warns. 

“Is her husband coming down to visit?” That gets a reaction out of Jax as he clenches his jaw. 

“No. It’s just Alma.”

“Staying at your place?”

Jax’s blue eyes pin down on her. “If you have something to say just say it, Ma.”

“She’s not your Old Lady anymore, Jax. You don’t need to get caught in between her and her marriage.” Gemma isn’t blind to the fact her son still wants Alma. She knows Alma still has her son wrapped around her fingers. She knows Alma would never do anything to take advantage of Jax’s feelings. It just worried Gemma with how the two of them could fall back into old habits. They don’t need to piss off any Russians. 

“No drama, Ma, for Nathan, please.”

“I promise.”

. . . 

Jax isn’t surprised that Alma is the mom to have a custom made hoodie proudly displaying their son’s jersey number. In fact, Alma is a pro at tailgating and mingling with other parents of athletes. He notices that this is her element. He hurts a bit in his chest to think that she had given this up a bit with Nathan living with him. It hurts to think he missed out on Alma being the doting mom and cheering for her son. 

It hurts even worse seeing all of the club here for Nathan’s game and how it feels so normal with Alma between all of them. It is as if the past five years haven’t happened. They are a family together and happy. 

Alma did have to do some convincing for Nathan to enjoy a party after the game. It tugs at his heart to see his son so attached to his mother. He knows that mother and son have a profound bond that is greater than the bond between him and Nathan. Jax isn’t jealous, but it makes it more obvious that he had fucked up their family. 

It’s even more evident how the guys are craving her attention now. She and Bobby had a very in depth discussion about baking. She had scolded Piney for being reckless with his health. Tig had already roped her into a game of pool. 

His mom was even being genuine in her conversation about some of the nail designs she would like if Alma had time to do them. 

It’s glimpses of simple things he pissed away by being an asshole. 

And he knows he is playing with fire, as he somehow convinced her to let him take her out to eat. 

“He is growing up so fast, Jax.” Alma laments as they sit in Lumpy’s diner. 

“I know.” Jax agrees. 

“He isn’t giving you any trouble is he?”

“You know he’s not. Boy is very self sufficient. Don’t know if it is because he is scared to ask me for anything though.” Jax admits. Sometimes, he can feel a distance between him and his son. Jax knows that at the end of the day there is probably some lingering resentment Nathan holds to him. 

“Just give it some time. But I assure you, Nathan is adamant on doing things himself for the most part.”

Jax smiles. “It’s nice having him back through. I feel bad for taking him away from you though.”

“You didn’t take him away from me, Jax. Nathan does like being back home in Charming.Besides, you’ll get all those fun teenage years.”

Jax laughs. “Let’s hope he doesn’t repeat our decisions.”

“I don’t know he has been telling me he’s been talking to Tristen lately.”

“Oswald?”

Alma nods her head. 

“Great. Exactly what we need.”

Alma giggles. “I think I would make a pretty hot grandma.”

“Al, please no,” Jax says as he covers his eyes. 

Alma’s giggling is cut short when her phone goes off. Jax uncovers his eyes and he watches Alma’s mood dim a little. She begins to move out of her booth. “I’ll be back.”

Jax nods his head as he watches Alma walk away and out to the front. He keeps his eyes trained on her as she listens to the caller. She keeps her back to him. He can’t hear her, but there is a lot of head nodding and shaking her head. The phone call only lasts about 3 minutes. He watches as she looks at her phone before she slowly slides it back into her back pocket. He acts distracted by the plate of food their waitress slid in front of him. 

He can tell the mood between them has shifted as Alma slides back into her seat. 

“Sorry about that,” she says. 

Jax shakes his head. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah. just...um Vitaly.”

Jax nods his head. He eyes Alma, who is becoming distracted by her food. He wants to ask questions. He wants to press for more information. He just knows better than to question her now in public. He’ll act like everything is fine. 

He slides over the extra ranch he requested from the waitress. “I got more ranch for your fries.”

“Thank you.”

. . . 

Jax has just locked the front door to the house when he is hit with longing as he watches Alma hang up her purse and take off his shoes. 

The once happy mood diminished after she came back from her phone call. 

“You want a drink before bed?”

Alma turns to him with a raised eyebrow. She folds her arms across her chest. “Why don’t you ask me what you really want to ask me? I didn’t think you were the type to need liquid courage.” 

Jax licks his lips and he leans against the wall. “The Russian didn’t want to come down?”

“No.”

Jax nods his head. “Busy with work...or?”

“Would you even want him here, Jax?” Alma replies. 

“Doesn’t matter what I feel. If he has a good relationship with Nathan, I don’t want to be the cause of a rift.”

Alma shakes her head. “Everything is fine, Jax.”

“I never said they weren’t.” Jax replies. 

Alma’s eyes widen slightly, but he watches as a blank mask slips into place. “I’m tired. I’m gonna go to bed.”

Jax doesn’t stop her. He watches as she walks down the hallway to the room that used to belong to their daughter. He moves away from the wall as he goes to the bar and gets himself a glass to pour him some whiskey. 

He knows that if something is wrong in her marriage. He would be on the fine line considering Vitaly’s connection to the Russians. They rarely do business with them,but he is not looking to start trouble either. Then again, he doesn’t really care about being courteous if Alma is involved. Yet, maybe he is overreacting. Marriage isn’t always sunshine and rainbows. He knows that first hand. 

He just doesn’t like that fact if Alma is in trouble, she feels she can't come to him for help. 

.  
.  
.

Jax gave his son and Alma privacy while they said goodbye. He was rewarded with a hug for his goodbye and a few tips in things Nathan or the house would need. He had stepped aside and went into the house when he saw Nathan struggling to keep his composure. 

It broke his heart to see his son like this. Yet, now, his son has been incredibly quiet since Alma left. Gone were the red eyes with tears, his son was clutching his phone tightly, biting his lip, and his leg was jumping up and down. Jax couldn’t ignore it. 

“Your mom make it home, okay?” Jax asks despite already receiving a text from Alma she was home. 

Nathan nods his head. 

“So what’s going on? You’re about to chew through your bottom lip.” Jax points out. 

“It’s nothing,” Nathan says dismissively as he runs his hands through his hair. 

The good thing about his world crashing around him when he and Alma got divorced, Jax became more self aware. He had too. Also in having kids, he can see how his behavior is inherited or learned. 

So he knows his son is lying to him. He knows that Nathan is keeping something close to his chest. Jax would force it out of his son, but he is trusting his son to come to him when he is ready. Jax knows that Nathan needs to come to terms with whatever is plaguing him on his own before reaching him. Jax has to wait for Nathan to trust him to handle the knowledge that Nathan has. 

“If something was wrong with your mom, you can tell me. You know that right?”

Nathan turns his head and a sad smile takes over his features. “I know, Dad.”

.  
.  
.

  
Alma is tired. Her body aches and she is running out of concealer. Vitaly isn’t being careful anymore. Thankfully, since she planned to go to Charming she didn’t book any appointments for the last two weeks of November. She had been able to focus on books and new designs. Yet, now with a possible concussion, having to pop her shoulder back in place, and a bruise that can even be seen on the inside of her lip, she can’t go to Charming. Nathan and of course Jax would notice everything. She is supposed to be leaving tomorrow. She feels bad for doing this last minute as Nathan had been going on and on about how the house was decorated. 

They were going to be having two Thanksgiving as Nathan just wanted her and Jax to have dinner for themselves. The other Thanksgiving she had somehow got an invitation to Gemma’s. She has noticed that Gemma has been nicer to her since her trip to Charming. It almost feels like things were returning to how things before the divorce. Alma knows though Gemma is only being nice to appease the boys. 

Alma leans back into her chair. She doesn’t want to break her son’s heart, but she knows she has too. These next two weeks are going to be torture. She knows she will have a lot to make up for when Christmas comes around. 

With shaky hands, she calls her son. His answer is immediate. 

“Hey, Ma,” he greets. She can tell he is smiling. 

“Hey, baby,” she replies. Her voice is a bit hoarse. She hopes he can’t tell. 

“Everything okay? You sound a bit sick?” She can hear some movement in the background. 

“You at home?” 

“Yeah, I’m laughing at Dad trying to clean the pool.”

“You’re not helping?”

“No, I know he is trying to trick me so he can push me in.”

“Sounds like your Dad.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t answer the questions, Mom.”

Alma closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “You’re going to be mad at me, baby.”

“Why? What’s going on?”

“I’m not going to be able to come up for Thanksgiving.”

He doesn’t respond right away. All she can hear is his breathing. “Baby -”

“Why?”

“I’m not feeling good. I wouldn’t be any fun, but I’ll be there for Chri -”

Nathan interrupts her. “What did he do?” 

“Nathan -”

“What did he do, Mom?”

“Nathan, I just can’t come okay. I’m sorry.” Alma can’t hold back the tears now. Her voice cracks. “I’m so sorry, baby, I’m a terrible -”

“Mom, don’t cry okay,” Nathan rushes out. “Please, don’t cry.” He begs. “I’m not going to lie and say I’m not upset. It’ll be okay, Mom.”

“I’m so sorry, Nathan.”

“He should be, Mom.”

.  
.  
.

Nathan is scared. He is worried. He thinks he feels guilty. His dad had asked him if everything was okay with his mother and he lied. Now, his mom wasn’t able to come to Thanksgiving and she wasn’t answering her phone. She always answered. If she couldn’t answer, she would immediately send him a text she would call him back. 

Something was wrong. He should’ve told his dad the truth. He immediately made some fib that something happened to her store. His dad and grandmother bought it. His mom even had the foresight to call his dad to reassure him everything was okay.

Yet, now, it’s been two days since Thanksgiving and he has not received a text or heard his mother’s voice. He is fucking scared. He knows better than to message Vitaly. That could only endanger his mother more. Nathan wipes a hand down his face and he is surprised to find tears. He didn’t even realize he had started crying. 

He can’t keep quiet. The silence is only bringing on violence to his mother. He storms down the hallway to the garage where his father is at. A new hobby of his is restoring bikes that he will either sell or keep for a collection. His dad looks over at him briefly before he does a double take. No doubt noticing the tears. 

His dad throws his tool down and begins wiping his hand. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s about Mom. I’m so sorry, Dad,” Nathan cries out as his dad steps in front of him.

Jax grips his shoulders. “Is she hurt? What happened?”

“I should’ve told you from the start, Dad. I’m so sorry.” Nathan wails. 

“Hey, calm down. Just tell me now. What’s going on?” 

Nathan looks into his father’s eyes. He wipes at his tears. “Vitaly...he hurts Mom.” Nathan reveals. Finally letting the truth out. “I...I can’t get a hold of her. I think he hurt her bad this time. I’m sorry, Dad. I should’ve told you.” 

Jax wraps his arms around him tightly. He embraces him in a tight hug. “Hey, it’s okay. It’s okay. You told me now. I’ll handle it, okay.”


	8. Family Recipe

Eventually Jax was able to get Nathan to calm down. It was only after Nathan unleashed everything. Namely that he doesn't know when the abuse happened, in fact, he never saw a bruise on his mother, but he just knows Vitaly hurts her. Jax knows that the abuse doesn't even have to be physical, but mentality and emotionally.

It takes everything in his power to not storm to Alma's right now, but he has to be smart. He has to prepare for the worst. He can't just kill Vitaly. The man does have ties to the Russians and any blowback can land on Alma's doorstep.

Then there is the fact in separating Alma from her abuser. He has to be prepared that she won't want to leave. He needs to be prepared for her to fight him on everything.

He does his best to not even think about why Alma got herself in the situation. The anger doesn't lay on her. Now he knows why Alma wanted Nathan to move in with him. The abuse must have been escalating. He knew something was wrong. He should've pressed and pressed even if it would have pissed her off.

Jax walks over to the end table and grabs some stationary. He writes a short and coded message to Lenny to see if he could give him some basic info on Vitaly and his schedule. He knows he can't just show up to Alma's place of work. He wouldn't be surprised if the man kept eyes on Alma while he was away. He needs to be careful.

.

.

.

Alma feels Vitaly only did what he did to ruin her Thanksgiving. After all, he had left promptly three days after his parting gift for a business trip that would leave him gone for three weeks. It would have him back in town just for Christmas. She has a feeling that he may try to ruin that for her as well. She already plans to leave for Christmas early. Nathan has most of December off and since she missed Thanksgiving she can make it up to him by arriving a week or two earlier.

She knows she put Nathan through a lot of worry those two days he couldn't reach her. Vitaly did smash her phone during his fit of rage. She had been able to easily explain that to Nathan, who had demanded a video call, when she was able to get a hold of him.

She hated to see the utter look of relief on his face. It was like he knew something had gone wrong. She had tried to shield him from the decline of her second marriage. She should've gotten out the first time Vitaly ever raised his hand to her, but she didn't. She stayed. She stayed and she didn't even know why she did.

She thinks maybe she didn't want another failed marriage under her belt. She didn't want to admit that she let herself into the situation. She got herself trapped. Maybe, just maybe, it had to do with she didn't want for anyone to know she got herself in this situation. She didn't want to go crawling back to Charming - back to Jax. She didn't want the stares of pity. She wanted to show people that she could move on from the Life she had in Charming.

She also didn't want Jax to go to jail for murdering Vitaly. She knows it would get to that point. Her ex husband was a very smart man, but at the same time,if pushed he shoots first and thinks later. She knows he would not let Vitaly get away with putting his hands on her.

She is just grateful Vitaly never targeted her son. During his rages, he always insults Jax. She ignores them mostly. They seem to stem from a place of jealousy. It makes her wonder if he knew what she had done with Jax on their wedding night.

Alma had always carried so much guilt from that night. She was truly disgusted with herself. What woman cheats on their future husband on their wedding day. She carried that guilt for months until Vitaly's real side began to show. Hell, she even had a pregnancy scare. She didn't know how she was going to explain that to Vitaly. He had made it very clear he didn't want kids. Although, she had found out by accident that he couldn't have kids.

She prayed to god everyday that Jax didn't manage to knock her up again. She didn't even know how she would have managed to make a good lie for that one. She knows deep down what she would've done if she had been pregnant. She didn't know if she could live with that. She probably would've chickened out and would have to manage the embarrassment of running back to Charming with her tail tucked between her legs.

Now, she doesn't feel guilty. It was the last time she truly felt loved from anybody in that way. Maybe she shouldn't have let her mother push her into this marriage. For the first time she ever really listened to her mother she ends up being a victim of domestic violence.

Alma shakes her head. She is not going to blame her mother. She made the choice to continue seeing Vitaly. She accepted the marriage proposal.

Alma sighs as she opens one of the many boxes of decorations for Christmas. This is the first year she will be decorating without Nathan's help. This house is much larger than her two previous homes. The one thing she misses is all the homemade decorations Nathan and Kaylee made. She had left those in Charming. Alot of Kaylee's things were still in Charming.

She is glad because she has a feeling Vitaly's anger might escalate to destroy any connection she has to Charming and Jax.

Alma goes to her record player and puts on some Marvin Gaye and pours herself a glass of wine and begins to decorate. She has been decorating for only about 30 minutes when the doorbell goes off. She frowns as she wasn't expecting anyone. She's never expecting anyone now that Nathan isn't home. There is also the fact that she didn't bother concealing the bruises on her body. She grabs a throw blanket to wrap around her body to hide the bruises on her arms. She can't do much to hide the bruise on her cheek. She peeks through the side window and she stiffens in surprise to find Jax on the other side of the door.

She knows if anything was wrong with Nathan he would've called. The only reason he would come down if it was about Nathan, but she knows he would've called beforehand. She knows this because she is pretty sure he doesn't want to be in the same room as Vitaly. She knows there is no use in trying to act like she isn't home.

She unlocks the dead bolt, but doesn't open the door all the way. She hides half her body from Jax.

"I can admit I am surprised to see you on my doorstep," Alma greets with.

"I can say the same." He replies.

She watches as his eyes narrow at her presence. She takes in his appearance. He isn't wearing his kutte and he doesn't have his bike. She notices his truck parked in her driveway. He is practically incognito.

"What are you doing here, Jax?"

"You going to let me in?"

Alma takes a deep breath and she opens the door wider to let him in her house. He steps in and she closes the door behind her. She takes a deep breath. He knows.

"We need to talk, darlin'," Jax tells her.

Alma nods her head and she leads him through the living room. She knows he doesn't care for a tour of her house.

She leads him to the couch where he sits down and she sits in the lounge chair opposite from him.

He doesn't say anything for a couple minutes. In fact, he doesn't even look at her as he seems to take in the world she lives in. He takes a deep breath and leans forward to rest his elbow on his legs.

"Instead of coming back to my bed, you married a sick fuck that beats you. You let Nathan witness that shit." Jax starts. He doesn't beat around the bush. He gets straight to the point of why he drove down here.

"Nathan was never in any danger."

"Jesus Christ, Alma, that isn't the point." He snaps and looks her in the eyes. His eyes focus on her bruised cheek. The point is that she is in danger. It's a truth that goes unsaid.

"I can't leave him, Jax."

"The hell you can't. I will drag you out kicking and screaming if I have too."

Alma runs her hands down her face. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Let me see it."

"See what?"

"I can see that nice shiner on your face. Let me see the rest." He demands.

Alma pulls the blanket around her tighter. "Look, I appreciate the concern, but you need to go."

"Nah, I'm not leaving until I know you're getting out of this."

"Jax, I'm not your wife or old lady anymore. I'm not your concern."

"You're the mother of my children. You think I am going to go back to Charming knowing you're getting fucking beat. Do you think I can go home to our son and tell him 'hey I left your mother to get fucking beat'." Jax spits back. "Is that why you wanted him to live with me? You were scared Vitaly would take his attention to Nathan."

"I got Nathan out, Jax. That is all that matters right now."

"Do you even hear yourself, right now?" Jax asks in disbelief. "What the fuck happened to you, Alma?"

Alma snaps her head up. "What happened to me?" The laugh that escapes her lips is far from humorous. "How about the fact I had to grieve the loss of two children and my ex-husband decides to bury his grief in another pussy that isn't mine. Then a woman comes along claiming to be pregnant by him. How about the fact you humiliated me in Charming with the croweaters and pornstars leaving me to grieve all alone and taking care of the only child we had left alive. So excuse me while I tried to mend the pieces of me you fucking tore apart led me to fucking Vitaly."

Jax falls to his knees and his hands frame her face. Alma tries to turn away from him, but he forces her to look into his blue eyes.

"Alma, please…"

Alma doesn't know exactly what he is begging for. Does he want forgiveness, for her to leave Vitaly, for her to come back to Charming?

"Did he threaten me and the club?" Jax asks softly.

"I don't want you or Nathan to get hurt, Jax."

"Don't worry about the club. Don't worry about me."

"Easier said than done." Alma tells him weakly with a smile.

Jax smiles. "I know. I know." He brings his forehead down to hers. "You gotta come home, Alma."

Alma doesn't respond because she knows her answer won't please Jax. She thinks Jax must sense what she is thinking he pulls back from her and opens his mouth. She distracts him as she presses her lips against his. He is startled and he falls back. Alma takes advantage of his surprise as she straddles his hips. Her blanket falls off her shoulders and she meets Jax lips again into a burning kiss.

She thinks she has Jax distracted. He moans against her lips as she grinds down on him. A part of her missed this. She misses Jax and the feel of him against her, inside her. She leans down fully against him as she begins grinding against him. She won't feel guilty this time. After all, she can't remember the last time she has actually enjoyed sex. However, Jax's hands grip her hips and she winces as it presses against a tender bruise.

Jax notices the reaction immediately and pulls away from her and leans up. Lips already swollen, pupils dilated, Jax sucks in a breath as he takes in the damage.

Her arms are littered with Vitaly's fingerprints. She doesn't stop Jax when he lifts up his tank and sees the splotchy bruise on her hip from when she was pushed hard into the corner of the dresser in the bedroom. She had been worried about internal bleeding due to the pain she has been feeling for days.

"Al -"

She pushes his hands away and goes back to meet his lips, but he stops her. "Jax, please -"

"You're not coming back after Christmas." He tells her. "I'm not arguing with you about it."

Alma licks her lips. She closes her eyes and nods her head.

Jax sighs in relief and wraps his arms around her. Alma can't help the tears that begin to fall.

.

.

.

Jax is anxious. He has been since he had gone and seen Alma two weeks ago. She is supposed to arrive in a couple days. She had informed him that she planned to come down for Christmas early to begin with. His only comfort was that Vitaly was out on business. Alma would be left alone. She wouldn't see him unless he came down in Charming once he realized Alma wasn't coming back. Despite her assurance that she was leaving and would stay in Charming, it didn't stop the bad feeling in his gut.

It didn't stop him from feeling as if something was going to go wrong. It was hard leaving with the knowledge that Alma was in an abusive marriage. It hurts to know that he was the one that fucked up and it led her to that man's arms. Jax thinks he might hate himself a bit.

He knows Nathan didn't have any comfort either. In fact, Nathan has been calling or texting Alma every day since he came back from his trip to Alma's. Jax thinks he is just lucky the visit managed to slip the radar of his club and mother. They could deal with everything including people knowing the sliver of the truth once Alma was here permanently.

The one thing that was on replay in Jax's mind was the kiss. He knows it was stupid of him to even get partially distracted. Alma was doing it as a means to distract him. He was tempted and it probably would've gone further until he would have seen the damage Vitaly had done to her.

He did cry when he came back to Charming. It hurts to know that she's been dealing with this practically her whole marriage. Jax isn't blind to the fact that in this life men have shown physical dominance over their old ladies and women. Yet, Jax never took on that view. It disgusts him frankly. He even regrets what he had done to Ima. After all, it was his mistake for sleeping with Ima. It all landed on him for inviting Ima into his marriage. After Alma left him, he did apologize to the blond and managed to get her behind the camera as penance.

Even then he has witnessed a few slaps from the guys with the women, but Vitaly is fucking beating her. He knows Alma had to be in pain.

Jax thinks they need to figure out how to handle any potential blowback from the Russians. He doesn't think they would care, but Vitaly could be petty. He was surprised that the Russians did not care about any domestic situations.

Jax feels his phone vibrating in his pocket and he pulls it out and squints at the unfamiliar number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, is this Jackson Teller?" A polite, feminine voice asked.

"Who's asking?"

"My name is Lisa. I'm a nurse at St. Vincent's hospital. You're listed as Alma Petrova's emergency."

"Is she okay? Is she alright?"

"She's stable and sedated, but it's best you come down here."


	9. Fruit For the Crows

Alma reminds herself to not get used to the pain relievers the hospital is currently doping her body up with. She knows once she is discharged that her body is going to go through one hell of a withdrawal. She has already been informed of her brain injury, which has resulted in her having racoon eyes. She was lucky she didn’t walk away with any broken bones or internal bleeding. The only serious trauma was to the brain. She would be kept overnight to make sure nothing overnight would arise. 

If it was up to her she would already be discharged. She wants to be away. Far away from this place. She feels embarrassed. She is scared despite the cops' assurances that considering the state of her body and her defensive wounds there wouldn’t be any legal action against her. She knows Vitaly’s family will want answers. Jax and the club will want answers. She is going to have to explain to Nathan why Vitaly tried to kill her. She is safe to make that assumption because the hits were harder. This time when he had wrapped his hands around her throat he was intent on killing her. 

She was truly scared for the first time in her life. It was the first time she had been terrified of anything. She isn’t too sure how she made it out alive. Alma curls into herself. She is thankful that at least she had been able to get Nathan out of that house so he didn’t have to witness this, or be caught in the crossfire. 

Alma hesitantly grabs the hand mirror she had requested of the nurse. She turns the mirror over and she should be sad at the sight of her face. She just feels nothing. She is no longer scared. She really has nothing to be scared of anymore. If anything, she can feel anything at the moment it is disappointment for allowing herself in this situation. 

Alma jumps startled at the knock that comes at her door. She places the mirror down and her body stills at the sight of Agent Stahl walking through the door. It’s been years since she has seen the skinny blonde agent since she had stepped foot in Charming to unsuccessfully bring the club down. 

“What do you want?” Alma says hoarsely. 

“Was nearby heard about what happened and considering our past history -”

“This is a real shitty time for you to be trying to grill me for info.” Alma interrupts. She is disgusted with the thought that Stahl would even think she would be that emotionally fragile to get a pair of loose lips. “Besides, I’m not even married to Jax.”

“It seemed you moved from an outlaw Biker to the Russian Mafia. It’s impressive.”

“Really because by the state of my face it seems I have shitty taste in men.”

Stahl goes quiet. “I’m not here about the Sons. I’m here about your currently deceased husband.”

“I don’t know shit about Vitaly’s business.” Alma tells her. 

“You know I actually believe that.” Stahl replies. 

“So why are you here?”

“When a high ranking member of the Russian Mafia is killed the ATF takes notice especially when there are rumours about said member working with small outlaw bikers for automatic weapons. The thing that connects them happens to be a wife. I thought I would give you a courtesy visit.”

Alma bristles. “You are so considerate. Thanks for the warning.” 

“You know not alot of women make it out of this outlive. You should consider this a third chance in life.” Stahl departs before walking out of the door. 

. . .

Alma doesn’t remember falling asleep. She surmises that the hospital had her medicated nicely. She knows the only reason she is awake right now is because of the need to use the bathroom. She groans as she works to open her eyes. She almost forgot that her eyes are nearly swollen shut. 

“You okay?”

Alma jumps. She whips her head to look behind her where she finds Jax wiping a hand down his face. She turns her head back to look in front of her. She didn’t really want anyone to see how she looked. 

“When did you get here?”

“A few hours ago.” He tells her softly. 

Alma doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t really have anything to say exactly. She is sure he has already seen the state of her face. 

“Hey, look at me,” Jax pleads softly. 

Alma doesn’t turn around. “I can’t talk about it now, Jax. I can’t.”

“Al - “

“Where’s Nathan?”

“With my Mom.” He informs her. 

“Who else knows?”

“They know he’s dead. That’s about it.” He tells her. He isn’t exactly sure what had gone down himself. Although by the look of her face, he can paint a vivid picture. Jax stands up from the chair. He doesn’t walk over to look at her. He knows better to break that boundary. “I need something, Al.”

“I killed him. That’s it.” She replies before she sits up and goes to the bathroom. 

. . . 

The ride back to Alma’s house is quiet. She had been discharged from the hospital late in the afternoon. She had to go back to her place to grab a few things before going to the small apartment she had atop of her shop. She just wanted to grab a few pictures and clothes. She knows she will sell most of everything in the house. She will most likely sell everything and donate it to a charity. 

Her main concern is her son and of course her salon. She knows she can’t stay here anymore. She doesn’t want to close her shop because her girls will be out of a job. She has steady clientele. She will miss her first store. 

She knows she won’t leave until she has that settled and she doesn’t want to see Nathan until her face is presentable. 

Jax had been quiet the whole time. She saw how his nostrils flared as they stepped into her house. She didn’t know how she could forget that her house was a crime scene. Pots with plants were broken, the table and chairs knocked over or shattered. She just wants to burn the house down to the ground.

She only filled about a smaller suitcase as she had packed things to take to leave to Charming. It was the reason why she is in the situation she is in. Alma knows that she needs to rethink the moves and decisions in her life. 

She walks down the stairs with her bag and finds Jax walking in a circle in the foyer. “I have an apartment above my salon. I’m going to stay here for a while until this settles.”

“Do you plan on coming back to Charming?”   
“I will. I don’t need Nathan seeing me like this.” 

“You shouldn’t be alone right now.”

Alma sighs. She doesn’t want to really have a heavy discussion right now. She just needs a little peace. Some space without anyone giving her what they think is right or should do. 

“Jax, I’m grateful you’re here, but I can’t do this right now. I just want to shower. Order some food and just relax.”

Jax moves closer to her. Her face is hidden by the bulky sunglasses and she has put on an oversized hoodie with the hood up. “I understand that, Al. I just don’t think you should be alone.”

“I’ve been alone for years, Jax.” 

Alma moves down the stairs and she heads to her car. She can’t rely on Jax with this. She is not going to shoulder her feelings onto anyone else. She needs to work through this alone. Besides, she thinks it would be best to wait until Vitaly’s family reaches out to avoid having Jax or even Nathan near her. She doesn’t think there will be any serious repercussions. She doesn’t plan on going after the Russians or anything. She will sign over anything that will link her to Vitaly or his business. She doesn’t need the money. She doesn’t need anything. 

“Is this about his family?” Jax asks her as he follows her. 

“Jax, can we please not do this now.”

“So it is?”

Alma sighs as she throws the bag in the passenger seat. “Why? Because you are doing business with them?”

“It’s not -” Jax stops. “Who told you that?”

“It doesn’t matter. I don’t really care.” Alma decides. It really isn’t any of her business. She doesn’t bother waiting for a response. She just wants to get away. She gets into the driver side of her car. She was going to pull out and leave Jax standing on the steps. Instead she rolls down her window. “You can come and follow me. But I’m serious. I don’t want to talk about this.”

. . . 

It was three weeks before Alma made her home back in Charming. She had handed her store over to a trusted employee to be the manager. Alma decided she would open a new store in Charming. Much to Jax’s displeasure, she had found a house to rent while she made the transition back to Charming. She wasn’t going to be staying in her former houses. There were just too many memories and she didn’t want to fall back into that old comfort. She didn’t need to be clouded while she figured out the next chapter of her life. 

Luckily, she had the distraction of opening up her new store that kept her pretty isolated from everyone. More pointedly, Gemma and Jax. Jax knew there was a time and place for confrontations. Despite her remaining tight lipped, his poking and prodding had decreased over the days. 

Gemma couldn’t take the hint that this was something Alma was not going to discuss with her. She had always known that Gemma was overbearing, but now it is at an increased level. 

The thing was she knew Gemma’s concern wasn’t for her really. All Gemma wanted to know - to control - was how what she believed Alma may or may not be doing to Jax. As far as Alma was concerned she didn’t particularly care about nurturing any relationship with Jax outside of the one they maintained for Nathan. 

Alma is opening one of the many boxes that liter her shop as she begins the decorating. She wasn’t surprised that Gemma showed up and wanted to lend a hand. 

“So are you keeping the last name? Or dropping back to Teller?” Gemma asks. 

Alma sighs. “I feel at this point I might as well go back to my maiden name.” Alma didn’t see any reason for her to keep both of her ex-husbands’. The only reason she kept Teller was for Nathan. Now she doesn’t see any reason to. 

Gemma doesn’t press. “Nathan’s real happy your back. It is great for both of his parents to be living in the same zip code.”

“Where are you going with this, Gem?”

Gemma stops her unpacking and turns to Alma fully. “I just want to know where your head is it?”

“In general or when it comes to your son?” Alma asks bluntly. 

“There is a lot of hurt between you and Jax - “

“And what makes you think I want him back?”

“Maybe it is the way he follows after you like a lost puppy.” Gemma replies sarcastically. 

Alma rolls her eyes. “It’s not like I ask him to, or even want it. I also learned there is no point in arguing with Jax when he is dead set on something.”  
“I don’t want my son and grandson getting hurt.” 

“Despite your belief, my life’s mission is not to hurt, Jax. If memory recalls correctly, he was the one that fucked up not me. Your son is the one to blame.”

“My son wasn’t the one to push you into marrying that Russian.”

Alma’s nostril flares. She doesn’t even want to respond to that. “If you think my life choices revolve around your son, you are sorely mistaken. But let's get one thing clear, Jax didn’t make me marry Vitaly, but don’t downplay the fact that because of your son’s wandering dick I was even in Vitaly’s arms in the first place. Your son is the one that fucked up. If he still has lingering shame, remorse, feelings that are all on him. I’m not asking him to do anything nor do I want him to.”

Alma doesn’t care to hear a reply from Gemma as she grabs a box and moves to a different part of the store. 

. . .

Jax is drinking another cup of coffee to try and keep himself up. He just got back from a 4 day run to Arizona and he is bone tired. He can’t stop yawning or rubbing his eyes. He is thankful that he isn’t needed at the club today. 

“Why don’t you just go to bed?”

Jax looks up at his son, who is eating a bowl of cereal. He shakes his head. “I haven’t seen you in four days.”

“We’ve had longer days apart.”

Jax hides his grimace at the reminder by taking a sip of his coffee. “How’s your mother?”

“She bought me some stuff for my room at her place. She’s busy setting up for the store. Thinks she can open within a month.”

Jax nods his head. He knows Alma has purposefully kept herself distracted with her store. Even if Jax had hoped they could mend some type of relationship with her, he has learned that Alma wants nothing to do with him. Conversations are now stunted as they were when they first separated. He doesn’t like it at all. He doesn’t like Nathan having to witness this again. 

“You know if you want to live with your mom again you can.”

Nathan doesn’t reply for a bit as he shoves a couple more spoonfuls of cereal in his mouth. “I think Mom needs her space.”

Jax goes silent. He doesn’t know how to respond with that. “She talk to you about it?”

“What is there to talk about? And why would she even say anything to me?”

“What do you have to say?”

“I’m glad he is dead.” Nathan replies dismissively. 

“Nate - “

“What Dad?”

“Don’t bury this down. Don’t let this hate dig deep into you.” Jax tells his son. 

“Who said anything about hate?” Nathan says as he gets up from his chair to clean out his bowl. 

“I’m just trying to figure out where your head is at. You and your mom both have gone way inside -”

“And why do you think that is?”

Jax furrows his brows. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“If you really have to ask that….”

. . . 

“Why didn’t you tell me about Vitaly?” Ann asks. The last place she expected to find her daughter back to was Charming. She should’ve not been surprised. She knows Jax's influence is all over this, but she is upset her daughter couldn't come to her about her abuse. 

“Like you care.” Alma replies.   
“Excuse me.” Ann asks affronted. 

“Don’t act so shocked. You were like Gemma with Vitaly how she is with Jax.” Alma tells her as she grabs their plates and places them into the sink. Ann had finally come to Charming after learning what had ended Alma’s second marriage. She had been mortified of the secrets her daughter was keeping. 

“How can you say that to me?”

“Just did, Mother.”

“Can you please explain what happened? You both were so happy -”

“Happy?” Alma echoes. 

“Yes, happy. Please don't act like you weren’t.”

“I was never happy with him. I settled for him. I settled for his bullshit. I even believed I deserved it most days. Don’t sit there and tell me I was happy with him when I wasn’t especially when my happiness never factored in it for you.”

“But you were happy with Jax. And I even imagine you’re happy now with him. Did you even consider Vitaly’s feelings knowing you were still carrying a torch for Jax.”

Alma looks at her mother insulted. If there was truly a time she was ever disgusted with her mother right now tops all of it. 

“If Vitaly was insecure of Jax being the father to my children it didn’t give him the excuse to beat me.” 

“So we are going to ignore the fact you fucked Jax on your wedding night?”

Alma goes still. She knows her mom wouldn’t. She wouldn’t do that to her and Alma knows that Vitaly never had suspicions about that night. “Why are you here?”

“You’re making a mistake by coming back here.”

Alma turns around and leans against the sink. “You know I never asked for your opinion.”

“It’s not like you would listen. I warned you about Jax. Warned about these men and their wandering dicks.”

“I’m not doing this with you. Dad broke your heart and I’m sorry. I really am. I’m sorry that the choices I made in my life didn’t satisfy you. But I am not going to sit here and defend them. At this point you need to come to terms with them, or you can leave.”

. . .

Alma is in her backyard digging up the ground to plant some flowers. She always had some interest in planting. She gained some knowledge from Gemma and research, but never took the time to plant anything outside of a few spider plants, some pathos, or easy manageable green plants. 

She can see why Gemma finds it calming puttering around in the dirt. She has just placed a dahlia seed in the ground when she hears a familiar growl of a bike. She uses her forearm to wipe the sweat gathering at her hairline. She stands up from the grown and pulls off her gloves and stuffs them into the pockets of her overalls. She makes her way over to her gate and opens it. She finds Jax stepping off his bike. She eyes him briefly before she makes her way back to her backyard. She goes to her patio and takes a sip of her water. 

She can hear his footsteps a few seconds later. 

He moves to her patio and stands a few feet from her. She looks up at him with an raised eyebrow. “What’s wrong?”

“Can we talk?”

Alma stares at her ex-husband. She wants to roll her eyes, but she does oblige him and takes a seat in one of her patio chairs. “Where is Nathan?”

“With Opie.” He tells her as she sits across from her. 

Alma nods her head. She analyzes her ex. He is starting to grow his hair back. She remembers being privy to a conversation between Nathan and him about hair gel. It was then she had figured out the culprit to her missing hair products as she looked at the slicked back look her husband is transitioning to. 

She crosses her legs. She has an inkling about what this talk could be about. “You guys going away?”

Jax looks at her with wide eyes, but he does nod his head. “14 months.”

“Everyone?”

“Opie, Chibs, Filthy Phil, and Piney are good. We are voting in some new Prospects. Have a few transfers.”

“You tell Nathan?”

“Not yet.” Jax says before he leans back in his chair. “I want to talk about us.”

“There is no us, Jax.”

A pained look comes across his face. “Al, I just...I miss you.” He reveals. “I’m lonely. Since you’ve left...I’m sorry. I fucked up. I know I did. I just want my family back. I want you back. I want my wife back.”

Maybe a couple years ago, Alma would’ve swooned at Jax’s speech. She would probably fly into his arms and take him back. A part of her that still holds onto her past with Jax wants to. She isn’t going to deny that. She knows she will always love Jax in some capacity. Just now, she isn’t the same woman he married. She is probably not the same woman he seems to have envisioned in his head. Getting back with Jax, it wouldn’t be good for her. She doesn’t know if she wants him back. All she knows that is she needs to be alone right now. 

“You broke my heart, Jax.” She tells him. “It still hurts what you did. I moved on. I think in some ways I am at peace with what went down especially for the sake of Nathan. He was able to come out of it not fucked up.” Alma pauses as she gathers her thoughts. She licks her lips as she looks beyond Jax. 

She has her own salon. She has her own house. Her son is healthy and growing. She is on her own for the first time. She is able to put herself first. She did it without anyone. She was able to do that all on her own. 

“I don’t think I can be or even am the woman you think I am or want me to be, Jax.”

“I’m not asking you to be other than yourself.” 

Alma takes a deep breath. She leans forward and scoots her chair closer to Jax. She grabs his jewel covered hands. She brings them up to her lips and presses a kiss against them. She holds his hands tightly. She looks up into his blue eyes. Brown and blue collide. 

“I love you, Jackson. I always will. I just...I can't be there in that way for you. Not now and I’m not sure if I ever can be again.”

Alma releases his hands and stands up for her chair. She leans forward and presses a kiss to his forehead. She lingers for a few seconds before pulling away. She leans down and presses a kiss to his lips.   
She pulls back and walks away back to her garden. 


End file.
